shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

[They raise an eyebrow]
How very eloquent of you.

 

Yeah, it´s natural to mis, see? -a smal black spot on her (black) hand becomes round and fluffy, then detached and open eyes, a marble sized mi. it says mi-

 

OH, I'M SORRY! FORGIVE ME, LET ME ENUMERATE THE WAYS FUCK YOU

 

"Got the point across, didn't it?"

Ford laughs, then turns to @WRENCH. "If you ever want to talk--and I do mean talk--about how to help your boyfriend think about swinging, or poly, or however you two decide to handle things, let me know. Because jealousy is a serious waste of energy. It's usually a combination of insecurity--fear that somebody else is better, more fun, physically more attractive or more talented than you--and, sometimes, fear that your partner might get hurt--I worry about that with Lissa kind of a lot, even though I know she's a trained assassin, because she's tiny and cuddly and fluffy, and I know women who are as affectionate as she is are often not well-respected, and because she does form attachments to people, even though they're not the kind of attachment she has to me."

 

[Grimm holds out the bowl of birch liqueur]
You should ask for better offerings if you are this easy to frustrate.

Remind me when I asked about your opinion. I find you more distasteful than the other one I think. Sorceror indeed. Worse than Scientists, they are Masters with delusions of grandeur.

 

[He leans down to watch, interested (and coincidentally downsizes as he does so); when the new mi opens its eyes, Vector laughs in delight.] Hello, little one!

 

Awww yeah, all sorts of spank bank places I'm guessing.
^_^
[He slings an arm around her shoulders and holds her tight. Totes platonic cuddling, yo. Totes.]

You're even mean about being mean!
!_!

What to heckie, my dude.
;_;

Hey, maybe he's just wired like that! My man M is SUPER protective of everyone and he puts himself out for us right, so no wonder he gets all fussed about stuff like that.
#_#
o_o

I mean, he might be down if we're in it together, but I'm cool doing the monogamy thing. It's counter-counter culture. I think Sitara would barf if I told her that and that makes it a win-win too.
!_!
^_^

 

Ford chuckles. "Yes, because that was absolutely the most platonic hug I've ever seen, and because you didn't half tell her she had to wait, not that she'd be waiting forever. She's purring."

 

Lissa is, in fact, purring. She has a rather loud purr, too.

 

[karkat regards the bowl the way someone might regard a particularly nasty squished bug, and doesn't take it]

I DON'T ASK FOR ANY OFFERINGS, WHAT KIND OF PIECE OF SHIT MOOCH DO YOU TAKE ME FOR? I HAVEN'T DONE SHIT WORTHY OF RECEIVING ANY

IT'S PART OF MY ~NATURAL CHARM!~ DO YOU WANT ME TO DO THE WHOLE SOCIAL PROTOCOL SONG AND DANCE AND GO ON ABOUT HOW I'M SOOO SORRY FOR BEING A LITTLE GRATING OR WHAT.

 

"...am I that loud?" Valiska whispers to Ford (her Ford).

 

"Only sometimes. It's charming. And adorable. And usually only Sev and I can hear you, though I once found you slumped over Aral, purring like that in your sleep. He's a very tolerant thylacine."

 

yeah man i cant speak for yall but im pretty sure some folks just aint wired for it like im not worried about my bf getting stabbed by someone elses dicksword and dying
and i do not doubt the allure of the stridong

but its also like if i were to see someone tryna get handsy with him its like hey thats my job step off ya dig
it might be a waste of energy or whatever but sometimes theres just no stopping the jealousy train and as long as your partners cool with it and youre not being a huge dickhead because of it i dont think thats necessarily a problem that needs correcting

 

Ford laughs. "It's not a problem if both people want to be monogamous. I do, however, tend to give situations where someone who was not previously monogamous becomes monogamous for the sake of a specific relationship the side-eye, because in my experience, that tends to end badly after the first blush of 'I will do anything for this person' begins to wear thin."

 

A man can dream, right?
^_~
[Platonic hug squeeze. But not too hard, because spikes.]

I dunno, can you?
?_?

Oh, oh, is the song RHYMING? If the song rhymes, you absolutely have to do it!
!_!
*_*

Heyyyy this guy gets it!

Spoiler: gif

No but realtalk, I get the whole 'jealousy is a waste' thing but also I blow shit up for ROMANTIC VIBES so I'm THINKING that I might not be what we in the know call an exemplary member of romantic society, right?
?_?

But we've done stuff-- butt stuff, if you will-- with other people before, so maybe he'd be down for doing it again! As a couple. FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY.
^_~
*_*
!_!

Also dude's the first person to take me out on a second date so I REALLY don't wanna fuck that up, best bro stuff aside.
>_>

 

Yeah nah. It's jealousy but it's not jealousy, I'm just not into that poly shit. It's fine if ya'll are, that's chill it's your thing you go hog, but I just don't find the idea of swinging with people I barely know appealing. I've only ever like considered the idea once and they were close friends.

So uh, sorry man not happening. I mean, I told him before that if it's a dealbreaker that's cool.

Oh hey, example time: Yo, Wrench, what if I went and slept with that one cute chick that frequents the game shop? Like, we all know it'll go to hell but y'know...

 

Uh, can I watch?
?_?
;_;

 

Dude. What happened to the whole 'oh man, I saw you looking at that girl and I mean if you want to leave me for her it's fine but...'?

 

HEY, HEY, LISTEN, THAT'S A WHOLE OTHER THING.
!_!
;_;
=_=

A WHOOOOOOLE NOTHER THING.
>_<
;_;

 

It's about how I feel when I'm in the other position. I just compress shit until I can't, you know me.