shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

[Grandpa robot is back to popcorning at the organics, albeit from a more respectable 10-foot height now.]

 

;_;
[He gives @Lissa Beijada-Pines a final squeeze before heading over to hug Marcus. Marcus pls to not cry. Pls.]

 

"That's insecurity talking," Lissa says quietly. "Now that he knows you want him, he knows if you do have sex with that girl, you'll come back to him with a smile on your face, assuming she doesn't let him watch, because I would and you probably would, but I don't know about her. And hey, this is a dream. Even if he did bang me from here to Carcosa, not that he will without your permission--" she tries not to pout-- "when he woke up, you'd still be together in the same bed, and I'd be in Gravity Falls, Oregon, assuming it's still there. We don't even live in the same dimension. If Ford and I go to San Francisco to raid Borderlands Books, we are not gonna run into you there and be awk."

 

Now Lissa wants to hug Marcus too. "Are you gonna freak out if I try to give you a hug? Because I feel bad that you're sad."

 

*Returns the hug because ok??*

You don't have to stop hugging her like, damn. I'm just trying to point shit out. You fucking homo. *Said with the utmost affection*

I mean, you're talking about the dude who-- Yeah. I'm not gonna out my main man on his awful dating history and habits unless he wants me to. But uh, it probably wouldn't end that happily.

I'm.... not sad. I'm just frustrated, cause like I've got various reasons for being uncomfortable with sleeping around. I know him and I know that he'd get pissy about it too, like shit... Donut girl.

 

I am so gay for you and it's all gonna be okay now.
;_;
[...Is he crying behind his mask?]

HOW COULD YOU BRING UP NATALIE LIKE THAT, JUDAS???
>_<
[Ah, no, now he's yelling. And shaking Marcus a little.]

 

"Well, no, it's not a thing like just sleeping around," Lissa says, cocking her head to one side. "Like, I asked Ford before I banged your boyfriend, for a number of reasons, not least of which is that he is fucking paranoid about me getting hurt, and I am...not when my hormones get bigger than my brain. Just being a total slut doesn't work, although I do my best! I don't need to know about the donut girl or anything, but like, you did do Deadpool. We are exactly as dangerous to your relationship as Deadpool is. In your real world, we might as well be a fantasy. I mean, we dimensional travel, but we wouldn't come to your universe unless you invited us, although at one point I know you and Ford were thinking about some cryptid hunt."

 

Ford executes facepalm combo x 2! It's not very effective.

 

"Where is Deadpool when we need him?"

 

I'M SORRY
*just lets this happen, just lets it*

I LOVE YOU, YOU NERD.

I... what now. I haven't actually banged anyone in this space, if I did I sure as shit can't remember it. Sure I mean, I think Wrench was more pumped about that particular thing than me. Mostly because it would be fun but I'm busy all the time, I'm pretty sure I'm passed out on the couch in Hacker Space right now.

 

That could have been before I was remembering my visits here though. *Shrug* Deadpool and Jimmy Siska are kind of exceptions, if I found out he was banging Siska I'd slap him on the ass and tell him to have a good time.

 

>_<
[Shake, shake, shake-- oh, wait, what now?]

You're here? You're back safe?
!_!
?_?
o_o

FUCK yes okay no you need to wake up right NOW so we can debrief! And I mean that in both the analytical and DEEPLY SENSUAL ways!

Spoiler: gif

 

thats fair i guess slong as youre not gonna jump in and play matchbreaker if person a isnt monogamous or whatever
like i figure most relationships like that where it isnt gonna work out run their course unless uh something else fucky is going on
but youve almost certainly got more experience than me in regards to the dating thing so maybe i oughta just shut my trap before i cram my foot all up in there

[dave fingerguns back]

hey man im in no place to judge i mean my romantic escapades are generally way less explodey but i also dont tend to follow the widely accepted romantic traditions

and i know that fucking feel
like ok our circumstances were weird but still sort of similar hat
good luck on your bonerquest yo

[oh, yelling and grabbing. dave is making a deer-in-the-headlights expression, and hard as it might be to read with the shades on, he's stiffened up a little too]

haha not to uh do what i literally just was getting on glasses for but
can the yelling and grabbing and shaking maybe
stop happening
like haha not to be a huge pansy or anything but a dude gets a little touchy around stuff like that sometimes yknow
its like maybe you gotta be way on the lookout for shit and its better to notice shit that isnt actually the shit youre on the lookout for than miss something legit right
like idk mushroom hunting and sometimes you pick up something that turns out to be a rock or whatever but at least you GOT all those mushrooms

 

"You were both with Deadpool and you didn't fuck him?"

 

You're going to make me wake up? I'm so tired... I'm dying Wrench, on the way back I swear I saw a fucking real life Ninja Turtle dancing on the corner.

Not that I remember. I'm sensitive about my junk and who it goes in.

 

OH fuck yeah dude no I totally get you.
!_!

Sorry man, didn't mean to fuck you up any, Josh hates it when I get LOUD AS HELL too so I'm just gonna go ahead and debrief my guy here and I am SO SORRY ABOUT THAT.
>_<

We TOTALLY did, I was in the middle, and I PROMISE I will get you the Good Shit TM if you wake up for me pretty pleeeeeease????

Spoiler: gif

[And then just like that, he's gone. Apparently Wrench can wake up on command, which is a weird talent to have.]

 

I mean-- I just-- Aw hell, he's gone.

*And then Marcus is gone, someone just got assailed*

 

Yes, yes, Ford thinks. Tell me again how much better you are at relationships, other me.

 

THE SONG IS A TEN HOUR TRACK OF ME SHRIEKING WORDLESSLY, OCCASIONALLY INTERSPERSED WITH SWEARS IN MY NATIVE TONGUE, SO NO. IT SUPER DOESN'T RHYME. THE DANCE IS ME RIPPING OFF MY BULGE AND STRANGLING MYSELF WITH IT, IF YOU WERE CURIOUS--

[and he has poofed. see you spike cowboy...

karkat grumbles something under his breath and goes over to try and subtlefuss at dave. fussing is successful, subtle....eh, not so much. pap pap pap]

 

"Okay, so not many people are pickier than me. I am still happily married to the person I misplaced my virginity with and plan to remain so, and we are both engaged to the only other person I've ever had sex with. But telling someone they have to be monogamous even in dreams seems excessive even to me."