shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

"Alex, I have seen your shipping charts. Don't even try and go there."

Mason sits down next to his aunt and pats her shoulders, just in case she's choking, then whistles. A large wolf trots up out of the shadows and settles on Lissa's other side.

"Hey there, killer," he says, and grins at the wolf. "Grandma Carla chase you out of the breakfast nook again?"

 

Mi! -little mi sniffs the wolf, but from a careful distance-

 

"You are such a dick."

 

The wolf sniffs the mi. He knows he's not supposed to eat cats. This smells like a cat.

Friend? He attempts to lick the mi.

 

Mi! -that is a big tongue. mi takes refuge on to of the wolfsnout-

 

that is such a fucking mess holy shit
i feel like i understand less than i think i understand but who knows
your migraine might actually be infectious bro ive opened pandoras box of confusing universal bullshit and i was not ready for the secrets contained within

 

The wolf does not know what to do with a miniature cat on his nose. He stares at Lissa plaintively.

 

"Aw," Lissa says to the mi, "he's just trying to be friends." She holds out her hand to the mi. There is fish in her hand.

 

-The mi decides that the hand is more interesting and pounces- pirrpirrpirr

 

Everytime I think I understand the depths of my brother's thoughtlessness he somehow surprises me again.

 

[Vector laughs, though not unkindly.] There's a reason I'm a Mage and not a Knight! I can break it down further for you if you like, but that might take a while.

[Mildly:] We all do our best.

 

[He makes a frustrated noise, though not an unkind one.]
I'm well aware.

 

Lissa pets the mi once it has finished eating the fish. "I wish I could take you home with me," she coos to it, "but you probably wouldn't like Oregon. Too many wolves and bears, although the house and garden would be safe. Because nobody's dumb enough to fuck with both Stan and Ford--the mob boss and the scary demon warlock--and if they are they underestimated me. And won't they be surprised?"

 

"...you are also a Mage of Space?" Ford sighs. "My sympathies."

 

This me is, anyhow! I think we end up with a few different classes, but we're all inherently Space of some sort, demi- or outright godly duties and all that. Sympathies, though? Whatever for? Yes, it's been a long road, but it's mostly turned out alright.

 

"Because of the part where you start out so sharp you cut yourself." Ford smiles.

 

[Vector laughs.] Well, that's what good siblings are for, isn't it? We were all a bit of a mess, it happens.

 

nah salright i just gotta let it roll around in my head for a little bit
breaking it downs just gonna add more variables to my thought soup and at this point its pretty well full fucking up on ingredients

anyway are we bitching about classpects cause goddamn i could whine for decades just a nonstop playlist about the shit i take issue with
the most nasal wails you can imagine blasting out the speakers
but then again its also like what the fuck else would i be

 

Fair enough!

And don't say 'the most' anything where my followers can hear, they'll take it as a challenge. [He laughs fondly, optics sparkling.] I have no particular issue with my own class, but apparently others do! [Shrug!]

 

the more i hear about these followers the weirder they sound

and i wouldnt describe it as taking issue really cause then itd be like
taking issue with myself yknow? it might be different for me cause i ascended or whatever but being a knight of time is just like
i got red hair
i am the knight of time
its just like a thing that i am but ime knights get a raw fuckin deal you feel me
sample size of two i guess so i might as well be spewing shit just right out of my asshole like i got explosive diarrhea but idk man
lohac was kind of a shithole