shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

"Stan, the first one of these places was created by you, me, and Bill, synergistically fucking up, possibly with Valiska's help since she let Julissa follow her through the rift she made outside of La Cyr. I don't know for sure how the other four work, though they all seem to have worked the same way, and...when I said that, I was assuming, probably wrongly, that you weren't going to do anything stupid here."

 

"That was the moment you decided to have faith in what passes for your brother's common sense?" Valiska snorts.

 

Not sure about this one in particular, haven't tested, but yes, it's eaten things out of immaterial dimensions before...

...kit-- ah, @Soundwave Minimus II, could you bring the subject back now?

 

Rrrt? I´m not sure but where else could we possibly find out! It´s not like we can do it without you anyway, I don´t think anyone here has time.

Prr! -stops purring and clicks some buttons on their contraptions to make the Thing reappear, but oddly slowly-

 

Oh no, it´s not malicious but yes it is usual. My kind of mis, only some will develop the desire for a body, mostly because thumbs are really useful to have. This type of mi in your hand almost always wants a body. They don´t mean harm but they don´t realize mi-ing without consent and killing are bad unless you teach them.

Yep! I´ve been builing stuff back in our world for the ones of us who have bodies.

 

Oh, there are plenty of places we could run this sort of test, convince your caer to drop by sometime and we'll have all sorts of fun. Just need someone Time-aligned to take part, and Onyx isn't quite the right sort...

[Notes notes notes. Very important.[

 

Ooh, yes! I´ll definitely ask caer. I wonder why the return is going so slow.

 

"How do you teach them? and is 'mi-ing' taking over the body?" Lissa is still thinking about it. "How many types are there? How do you tell them apart?"

And...wouldn't that be a fun thing to do to the catfish who wants to put her daughter in a ship?

 

we dont need it because as the resident time guy i am officially vetoing any more shenanigans until im three hundred percent sure no one is going to try and displace something in time

i dont care if you cant find out anywhere else
even if i AM the only one with time idk what you fuckers can do if you put your minds to it and im not exactly fond of how everyones talking about something with potentially CATASTROPHIC outcomes like its nothing
yallre at the science fair with your vinegar volcano except whoopsie turns out it was a real volcano with tiny people living on it and now its a diorama of pompeii

 

"I had a hand in making this place?" Stan's eyes boggle.

 

Ford groans.

"Bill tricked me into making the portal without renormalising the infinities. You turned the portal back on and created a rift. I trapped the rift. Does any of this sound familiar? Valiska found the other end of the rift in Dimension 52 and went through it but I had taken the portal apart so she tore her way through to find me. Julissa followed her and tried to kill her. Mabel and Dipper accidentally swapped backpacks, Mabel got tricked into handing over the rift, Bill did what Bill does best, and the first of these places split off from the damaged interstitium through a Yesod branch--I think--while you and Getheny were in Night Vale confusing the hell out of Carlos who didn't expect you to answer my voicemails. Got it? We all made the first of these places, and I don't know who's been making the subsequent ones."

 

Well you mostly just. Tell them. A lot. And yes, it is. I honestly don´t know how many types there are we´re very adaptable so there will always be more. You can tell the little deadly ones by well,their desire to "dead" things. They´re not subtle about it. -she grins. the tiny mi by the way has fallen asleep in Lissas hand-

 

Fine, we won´t touch time, happy? -science catte pouts-

 

[Vector finally blinks himself out of the fugue, and looks at Dave instead of through him.] I'm well aware of the potential outcomes, which is why we're not going to act on any of the questions that would lead to them until we're somewhere I am absolutely sure I'll be able to repair any damage done, intentionally or no. I get... drawn in, sometimes-- [he gestures to the contraptions still taking measurements as their subject reappears--] but I'm not entirely without restraint, and I take my duties more seriously than any passing whim.

 

"Aha," Lissa says. "Well then. I understand why you want to keep an eye on this one for a while." Lissa smiles at the mi. It is an adorable little predator. "But honestly, if we can train them not to do those things, they would not be more trouble than a good half of the other things we've got living in Gravity Falls."

 

"You say that like it's a good thing," Stan grumbles. "I dunno about your Stan, but I would not personally have chosen that town to settle in had things gone differently."

 

"Everybody gets drawn in. That's why there's a house rule that even I can be removed from the lab if I've been in there too long without sleeping." Valiska smiles. "Though usually it takes Ford and/or Sev to pull it off. Fortunately, all three of us have different enough specialities that you won't get more than two of us working on the same thing. At least...not usually."

 

"You sound like Chroma." Ford grins indulgently. "No black holes in the gravity well either, okay?"

 

[Amused:] Well, he is her son, a few universes removed.

 

There's not terribly many people capable of moving me when I don't want to be moved, but the point is taken.