shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

"Right!" Ford grins. Suddenly a lot of things about Nichrome make sense. Not that he hadn't suspected something like that. Nichrome is more like Chroma than the jerk in the blue ascot and suit is like him, after all.

((you two are so alike that's why you hate each other idiots))

 

immensely
but i got my eyes on you
you cant tell because theyre behind ben stillers shades but they are on that shit like white on rice
i wont hesitate bitch
i mean i will hesitate to do anything beyond bitch until i run out of words to bitch with but that will be never

[he calms down somewhat, and is back to Standard Monotone, but internally he's still disgruntled]

see thats the thing though
youre still cool with eventually going through with it even knowing youll probably unintentionally damage shit
and im gonna be honest the implication that youre cool with damaging shit intentionally doesnt sit super well with me and by that i mean it chafes like burlap pants riding up my asscrack

i dunno man like ive always found the best answer for questioning whether or not you should mess with time is just
dont

whatever ill just stow this tantrum away in my back pocket until i need to whip it out again i guess

 

-grins- Just remember it is impossible to keep a mi anywhere, or out of anywhere, that mi wants to go.

 

Wait, what are you talking about? I know Chroma is one of the trolls but my Caer is Nichrome, not her!

Alright alright, I heard you the first time! -his tailtip swishes, just like an irritated earth cat only bigger and scorpion-y-er-

 

Sometimes things go wrong. Sometimes an edge needs sanded down before it can be repaired properly. Damage happens, Dave, whether we want it to or not. And I've spent several billion years learning how to fix things rather than sticking my head up my own tailpipe and pretending I'll never do anything wrong. I do not actually want to break my universe-- or any universe-- beyond repair, I promise you that. I am in fact capable of occasionally recognizing a bad idea before I start messing with the fabric of reality, curious children or no.

 

You know there are different universes, yes? And some of those universes have copies of people? Nichrome-the-troll and Nichrome-your-caer are two iterations of the same person. Not quite the same themselves! But the same base personality, the same core or spark if you will.

 

"That's...true of most cats." Lissa smiles. "It may be much more true of mis. But."

She places the adorable, but slightly murderous, mi on the Archmitect's shoulder, very gently, so as not to wake it up.

 

"Chroma's name is Achromat Nichrome Courinna," Ford points out.

 

[Vector blinks, a little bemused.] And Captain Nichrome's is technically Nichrome of Iacon. The simplification was intentional, Doctor.

 

"I just thought Soundwave might like to know that." Ford smiles. "No offence was taken, I assure you."

 

ughhhhhhh ok
im gonna be honest my policies wrt time and playing with it might be a LITTLE restrictive because my experience has been me aradia i wanna see how it all ends megido and lord fucklish himself
and not to brag but i have never fucked up a loop im the goddamn king of stability manipulating the fabric of time like a master puppeteer--not going there nvm forget that tangent
so thinking of time as something with rough edges to sand is kind of different than my experience with it which is more like working with a living thing
but like i said
unless i get a whiff of something that stinks ill put my conniption up
im not saying my opinions changed or that im totes on board with it but i can tell when im sticking my dick somewhere it aint welcome

 

"Aren't there like, Time Police? Because my sister and I got into a lot of trouble with those guys."

 

where im from i am the time police my dude

 

"...what?" Stan would be furious, except that there's no point in it, because whatever they did is in the past.

At least, technically...

...he hopes?

 

"There's just one of you?" Dipper looks a bit sceptical. "No giant baby or anything? I thought the Time Police had jurisdiction across dimensions, because..."

His voice trails off. Maybe it's better not to go into all that right now.

Not with both of his uncles, including the one who is legally his father, giving him the looks that they're giving him, now.

 

"It would be impossible for anyone to have jurisdiction across every dimension," Ford says firmly. "I don't think, for example, that even Time Baby would want to deal with Mewni. Or wherever it is that Norm came from. But don't let that give you ideas. There's a reason I'm banned from Mewni, apparently." He frowns. "And I thought Moon and I were still friends."

 

its less literal than that im not actually an officer of the law

[dave changes into his godtier jammies and points to the time symbol]

im a knight of time
ie i protect time and protect people with time
and i mean depending on how you qualify giant baby i might fit that description too
but it helps the whole just one dude thing that theres not a bunch of other people who can fuck with time

 

Dipper removes what looks like a retractable tape measure from his pocket. "These things," he says, "are to Time what Star's scissors are to Space."

 

Ford is rather horrified. "Where did you get that?"

 

"I manifested it. We're in a dreamscape!" Dipper shakes his head. "You okay, Dad?"