shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

NOT REALLY AS FAR AS I KNOW? AND UH I KIND OF... HAVE SHRIMP NOW SO I SHOULD LIKE PROBABLY TAKE CARE OF HER, TEACH HER SOME PROUD FISHTROLL TRADITIONS LIKE MURDER AND DOUBLE MURDER OR SOMETHING??? FUCK I HAVEN'T REALLY LIKE... MADE A PLAN FOR THIS. SHOULD I BE LIKE PICKING OUT SCHOOLFEEDS OR SOME SHIT?

 

Oh, thank you! Did he? He does do such lovely work, doesn't he? I'll admit I've thought about commissioning him a time or two for detailing! Have you seen how the gradient between the two of you lines up in alt yet?

 

Yeah, it works out great! He really thought it through.

 

"Maaaybe you should talk to Mama Cat, Sigrid and Aunt Getheny," Dipper suggests. "The first two, more than the third, though," he says, lowering his voice just in case Stan's around.

 

That's wonderful! [Happy birb! Sorry, Karkat and Dave, your wall is an excitable boy.] I'll have to ask him for some tips, I haven't worked on Devisens or combiners at all yet, I'm sure that's a whole new thing to figure out!

 

"Rude, and if anyone's insulting Lo, it's supposed to be me."

 

UH HOW ABOUT FUCK YOU??? I'M LIKE SUPER RESPONSIBLE! PLUS SHE HASN'T PUPATED YET GRUBS JUST LIKE... CRAWL SLASH SWIM AROUND AND BITE SHIT A LOT. AS LONG AS I CHIRR BACK AT HER WHEN SHE CHIRPS I'M GOOD YOU FUCK!!!
LIKE LISTEN WE'RE USUALLY NOT RAISED BY OUR OWN KIND SO I KINDA HAVE TO TAKE CARE NOT TO LIKE OVERSOCIALIZE HER? PROBABLY?

 

I'm sure he'd love to talk to you about it. I don't think he realizes he can charge for it.

 

Yeah, because Alternia focuses on psychological health.

 

Then again, it's not like everything on Alternia has to be wrong. Just... how do we tell how well socialized a grub should be? Who cares for eggs and stuff, can we ask THEM?

 

Just sayin', if you're not prepped to be a mentor it's one pit of a ride. Sounds like you've got a flock around to help you, though? So that's good.

How do you oversocialize someone though?

 

Mm.... far be it from me to badmouth a captain, but I think you might be right! He seems... ah... a little busy with other things. Which are certainly very important things!!! He's a captain, after all!! And I'm sure he pulls in a more than decent salary anyway, it's not like he needs the extra income if he just wants to do people up for fun.

 

"What's the worst thing that could happen if Shrimp got really socialised?" Ford smiles gently. "Are you afraid she won't be afraid of people? She's not living on a world where she's going to have to commit a lot of murders, but right now she's a baby, so you probably are doing all right as long as you respond to her, keep her clean, and keep her fed. But you might want to get Sev and Merrick's heads together because that fin looks a little bit painful. Also...why did you name my granddaughter after treyf?" He's grinning--his interest in kashrut outside of ritual situations wore off in his late teens, but it's still hilarious to him.

 

uuuuh grubs are like the easiest. they socialize w/ other grubs???

 

"We don't have any grubs in this household except for Shrimp," Ford replies. "I didn't know Loreli had lusus-fluke. Which is a thing I only know about because when Sunshine and I were together, I suggested taking in this poor kid we had found, and he snapped at me that he didn't have lusus-fluke. Fortunately, we found the kid somewhere else to live."

 

k but like, grubs don't really like older trolls mostly, even jades. even tho we have to keep them all fed and clean and stuff! it's not fair they're such a botheeeeeeer. and they bite! and the psychic ones get nasty!!

 

[they skedaddle wingward; they're too embarrassed to acknowledge whisper's presence, but they both visibly calm down now that they can't see the blood]

[karkat pokes his head out from behind a wing juuust a little bit to yell]

DO I LOOK LIKE A JADE, YOU RIDICULOUS FUCKING FISHSTICK? I DON'T KNOW HOW TO RAISE A GRUB EITHER, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY LISTEN TO THE HUMANS YOU LIVE WITH AND TRY TEACHING PROUD TRADITIONS LIKE NOT-MURDER, AND OTHER FUN HOBBIES.

 

"Well," Ford says, "we do what we have to do. I've been bitten by bigger, more dangerous things."

 

bsides if the grub is a seadweller the worry isn't how to socialize it but keeping it from mauling everyone else. i still have scars, ok. this isnt a joke and its not a weak primate fat-baby. seadwellers r like... rlly strong!!! and grubs r... well its not like older trolls are always very nice but grubs r not v smart, they're just reactive. if u smell like their lusus they'll be chill but theyre p low on the food chain so a lot of that reaction is like... p over the top.

do non-jades srsly not get school-fed on this???