shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

"It's not hard to tell them apart," Dipper suggests after a moment. "The other Ford always wears blue and looks younger, and he's more of a beanpole. And the other Mama Cat doesn't wear much in the way of clothing."

 

look idk if this is gonna carry over to like when ur awake but srsly find some fucking jadebloods, they'll have at the least the schoolfeeding files n stuff. don't like. MAKE them deal with the grubs if they don't wanna tho.

 

So one's a pair of squares and the other's a pair of hotties?
?_?

Not that I need the help telling the difference.
^_~

 

YOU'RE DEFINITELY A FELINE, I JUST FIGURED YOU'D ALL ENDED UP ON EARTH, SINCE YOU WEREN'T ON ALTERNIA AND *EVERYONE* ALWAYS SEEMS TO END UP ON EARTH IN MY EXPERIENCE. MARK IT DOWN AS A PERSONAL FAILING I GUESS, I'M ALMOST AS DISGUSTINGLY EARTH-CENTRIC AS MY HUMANS ARE, NOW.

I CAN TELL THEM APART! I HAVE EXPERIENCE IN ALTSELVES. THEY'RE AS MUCH IDENTICAL AS DAVEPETA IS DAVE OR NEPETA, WHICH IS TO SAY NOT AT ALL. I DO ACTUALLY HAVE EYES.

 

-she doesn't seem concenerned about the presence of giant robots beyond a slight eyebrow raise. Talking giant robots are new but she's probably unconscious anyway- Right. I'll buy that for a handful of silver. I'm Psyche. Am I- -she looks down and remembers what she was doing before she ended up here- Oh. Yeah. It's not mine.

-SIGH. She tries to wipe the blood off on her pants, but really only succeeds in getting blood all over them-

Just a year? Wait, no, transwarp. Sounds like the same stuff we sometimes find in the ancient ships, but

Earth's a marble, dude.

 

[karkat yells back without looking out from behind Big Metal Leg. it is the visual equivalent of 'lalala i can't hear you']

ACTUALLY, IT'S A TINY PORTION OF A BIG-ASS FROG, BUT SURE

 

-without any inflection that might betray emotion- Glassed. Global orbital nuclear bombardment. I'd say 'nobody lives there' but given the rimwolds... someone probably does. Not very well though.

 

rite but this is a multiversal hub so sorry about ur planet i guess???

-She does not seem sorry.-

 

MAYBE *YOUR* EARTH. WE WENT THROUGH TWO AND ALTERNIA TO BOOT, BUT OUR EARTH IS JUST FINE. COVERED IN ALIENS, BUT FINE REGARDLESS

THERE'S AT LEAST FOUR DIFFERENT UNIVERSES WITH DIFFERENT EARTHS HERE, JUST RIGHT NOW. MINE, YOURS, THIS DUDE'S [he taps the nearest part of updraft with a knuckle], AND THEIRS [he gestures to dipper and valiska]

 

Hardly my planet. I was grown on a glitterworld.

What I get for expecting a psychic attack-induced dream to make sense, I suppose.

 

"We don't look at you like they do, either." Valiska laughs, shaking her head. "I think they know they can't keep you...but I wouldn't bet the house on it."

 

"Excuse me, those are my parents. And their altselves." Dipper sighs.

 

IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE! NOT MY FAULT YOU'VE GOT WET LINT BETWEEN YOUR AURICULARS INSTEAD OF A THINKPAN

 

You're right. Interdimensional meeting point where 'interdimensional' apparently also means 'multiuniversal', including different versions of the same person is perfectly internally consistent and doesn't sound at all like a shitty joywire. My bad.

 

MULTIPLE VERSIONS OF THE SAME PERSON CAN EXIST IN THE SAME UNIVERSE, THAT IS *FAR* FROM THE WEIRDEST THING HERE

AND UNTIL YOU RUN INTO FIFTY FUCKING NEPETAS ALL FROM DIFFERENT TIMELINES, YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ANYTHING WHEN IT COMES TO ALT-UNIVERSE SELVES. AND THAT WASN'T EVEN HERE!

 

Oh great. It gets worse.

 

Aww, and here I was hoping I was UNIVERSAL.
;_;
#_#

Yeah dude most people have parents?
6_6

What's so special about 'em?
?_?
@_@

 

Valiska shrugs, sniffing the air with an expression that probably looks less pleasing than she is pleased. "You do have nice catte-friendly pheromones, but...I have wanted to have sex with exactly two people and I married both of them. Fortunately they are also in love with each other as well as with me."

After a moment, she glances away. "But they..." She sighs. "When he turned her away from the cult, he turned her out. This is common. But she is my clone and we are wired to care about people. I don't doubt that she can let go...but she probably does not know what we were engineered for."

 

*her tail puffs up with excitement* That's so cute

 

*bows respectfully* Or what fate has donned upon us