shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

I mean Cybertron does not have that much variety to chose from there, and I don't really mind, so might as well go for it. [He approximates a shrug with his wings, since by now all his arms are occupied with various amount of robot and doesn't want to dislodge anyone]

You are [Is he indulging him? Perhaps a little but surely Eclipse would agree that Ignis is very pretty] Yes they are. Those known as 'rods' are for seeing in low light condition and only really transmit light/dark information, while those called 'cones' are for differentiating the wavelengths of colors. Depending on the organic in question they have different types on cones optimized to their environment, so some can see reds, some cannot but can differentiate blues a lot better and some can see heat signatures ultraviolet light or even polarized light, though most organics can't see all of those at once but rather a part of the spectrum that is useful to their survival.

 

[Ignis nods along, well aware he's probably not going to retain any of this but hey, it's distracting Updraft, so win-win right?] So why do we have all of it, then? Like, I dunno what kind of mess happened after I died, but a base visual sensor set's supposed to run through like.... slag, I forget the specs, but most of the EM spectrum if you just tune your optics correctly?

 

That depends on what you consider 'most' of the spectrum really, but the main difference is that organics can't tune their optics, or replace them easily. They are stuck with what they are born with, for the most part, and it's fairly 'expensive' equipment as it goes, so there is a selective pressure to optimize and not drag along what you don't need. Not so much on the individual but on the species as a whole [Updraft is starting to feel like the concept of evolution may require explaining, too]
But even so, you can't tune an optic forever, there are limits to what the sensors can still perceive and what is actually useful to perceive. For example, I probably could tune mine up towards the ultraviolet end of the spectrum, but it would probably not be very useful to me, so I don't.

 

[Sorry, Ups, Ignis is not a smart enough student to put together "selective pressure" with "reproduction," it doesn't even occur to him to ask how the selection is done. obviously whoever doesn't come out right gets kicked out into the wastes, right?] Huh. Guess that makes sense. Thanks, mech.

 

[blink]

clearly i need to take my stand up routine on the road start performing for yall

nobody like that figures shit out not a single damn thing
they dont like THINK really think about it cause they dont grasp that whoever they got power over is a person and not like
a tool
so when one day you open the janitors closet and the cleaning supplies beat your ass its like what the fuck this cant be real
doesnt matter if its dudes in a lab with test subjects or almighty overlords with a planet full of unwilling serfs
the motherfuckers got no common goddamn sense

[weeeeeeelp, not going to touch the personhood thing, nope]

im pretty sure theyre laughing at my hot takes dude you got nothing to worry about

 

"You're a person if you want to be," says Lissa, scowling, but not at Omega, "and that's final. And also, the mechs are not laughing at you. A lot of them have also been declared non-persons at various points in the past, as have I. Besides. It's illegal to own a wolf where we live. I'm always having to tell the damn sheriff that this is my friend, not my property, and what the fuck is wrong with you anyway."

 

they're learning scoob

 

You are welcome [He smiled and snuggles back down to him]

True words. [So they're back at 'people in power somehow magically become absolute fucking idiots. Something about getting there damages the processor or something]

[Also oh no Scanner. That never goes well. Absolutely never. At least he's got a snuggle pile to hide in right now? Which is doing a pretty good job of keeping the spark aches at bay for the most part but Primus it's always worst around Scanner]

 

-she arrives, accompanied by dog. The dog is big and white and fluffy, and clearly has some wolf in his recent lineage and is wearing a service dog vest. Letha fishes a ball out of her purse and tosses it into the rave, also in Omega's general direction. It goes SQUEAK every time it hits something, and is very bouncy so it squeaks lots. As soon as it's out of sight the dog looks at her in his best Big Dumb Dog impression and she shrugs. Don't ask the blind girl! He bounds off like his purpose in life is now to Acquire Ball. Letha sits down to wait. She has a bright bit of teal cloth (there are endings of Lichtenberg scars peeking out) around her eyes and, just in case that doesn't make it obvious enough, is also wearing completely opaque sunglasses-

-the dog will barrel through anyone, and pounce anyone who may have The Ball. His eyes are bright and intelligent, however, and his expression looks more like a kid playing a prank shifted for dog anatomy-

 

Lissa grins at Scanner. "Had to happen eventually." She isn't sure why Scanner feels the way he does, but far be it from her to define someone else's identity; she will, however, continue to treat him with dignity.

She watches as her wolf, also, bounds after the big 'dumb dog' and the ball. She hopes that if Omega wants to play, he will.

 

-competition for ball! Dog's tail goes at aprox. a billion bpm as he investigates everyone. Do you have the ball?

a distant squeak is heard.

BALL-

-Letha, because she's evil, throws the spare. Dog's claws audibly click on the ground as he skids to a halt in Scooby-Doo fashion. Ball over there? But also over there? Which ball? Get ball? He chases his tail for a few rotations as he decides, then speeds off after one at random-

-BALL-

 

Fucked up experiments are definitely people. I am one myself.

 

[More snickering, badly muffled in Updraft's shoulder.] That's it, that's the revolution. Nailed it.

 

[Updraft is giving him a look at that. Bad puns are punishable by playfully shoving at his shoulder, obviously] Your sense of humor is terrible I have you know.

 

[Ignis shoves right back, grinning, his wings canted high and amused.] Can't be flawless at everything, sweetspark, someone would trap me in a temple and then I wouldn't be able to dance!

 

man i feel like im missing hells of context here but im glad my shots in the fuckin dark are at least entertainingly incorrect
did metal jesus get crucified or something
or i guess metal jesus would have to be part of the revolution to be a jesus allegory wouldnt he
and not upholding THE SYSTEM or whatever

 

[He grins back at him, wings vibrating with glee] Sweetspark, huh? Though I reckon if they are putting you into a temple you would be allowed to dance still. What would be the point of depriving everyone of that? [He can't waggle his brows, but there are platings on his wings that he can wiggle in a good approximation]

What is a jesus? [These cultural references are going a little bit over his head, sorry]

 

The wolf has a ball!

The wolf learned to play with balls from Alex when she was much smaller. He is not tame, but he is not above pretending to be if it's fun.

 

aw yes mutual bafflement re: cultural nonsense
a jesus is like a
hm
well human jesus was supposedly a dude who went around telling off the man and then he got murdered for it and people went
we could make a religion out of this
troll jesus was a mutant and was like stop being dicks to each other all the time and then he got ritualistically sacrificed for daring to say shit while also being offspectrum and people went
we could make a religion out of this
karkat is troll jesus 2 electric boogaloo i guess
og troll jesus shows up in here sometimes hes like karkat but hes got a shitty teenstache
i didnt even know trolls could grow facial hair

 

"A poor deluded heretic whose heart was mostly in the right place, but he didn't grok that according to the Law, we're all supposed to have been G-d's children and to try to become like G-d. And to finish cleaning up G-d's mess. If I had to guess, I'd say a lot of his problems started with the whopper his mother told. And he'd be horrified if he saw the shit people do in his name." Ford sighs. "He and I were raised in the same religion, but a couple thousand years apart, and he started a religion back then that was co-opted by the Roman Empire into a tool of cultural conquest, about four hundred years after they killed him."