shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Ford laughs out loud. "My point was that lapsang souchong is not for delicate palates. It's extremely strong tea. I can't help thinking that with all the dripping honey and sugar, and all the caffeine, you would probably enjoy it."

 

"Ford does not approve of asceticism, except in small doses for the purpose of achieving some magickal goal," Lissa says, smiling, "and he's not wrong that asceticism is extremely bad for my head." She is quite entranced by the mis who are sharing her fish. "I'm the Scarlet Woman for a reason."

 

never been a fan of the leaf taste
like drinking a cup of lawn clippings
but shit sounds like if anything will convert me to tea thatd be it
are you offering or just telling me the titillating tale of tantalizing teas

 

>@ Shit I was just tryna be clever, lovey, he just climbs mountainsides to like them like any proud Spidergoat would. Climbing improbably things and licking them is kinda their whole thing.
>@ But man, there's a whole buncha wigglers with bird type lusii who are waiting to mob you for that last thing too. Birds eat stones and I think th bigger the bird gets the bigger the stones they swallow or something? I've definitely seen a giant eagle gobble down a boulder before it's kinda sick.
>@ Sick as in cool.

 

Possibly the part where hedonism isn't the height of corruption, or maybe the bit enjoying the pleasures of the flesh without properly begging forgiveness of the Maker. Plenty of things, really.

[He shrugs.] I think it's certainly something one might want to check for excess-- Orlais and Tevinter have never been kind to the Dalish in their pursuit for pleasure-- but I'm also not going to prostrate myself because I'm finally getting a vacation. One with revolution and assassins and world-ending plots, perhaps, but there's no paperwork so I'll take it!

The Scarlet Woman? I assume that has something to do with the cult you've mentioned, but most women in scarlet I've seen have been Chantry sisters. It's a bit of an odd association.

 

-the mis greatly appreciate the sashimi. It´s clearly meant for then, it has mi in the name!-

 

-snorts- Philistine.

Please, we have got to fix this regretable gap in you education.
-for a giant robot, Libre sure is passionate about tea-

 

Ford presents him with a cup of strong black tea that would probably be flat out nasty without all the sugar that's in the baklava. "Eat the pastry -- you can let it drip honey and syrup into your tea-- and drink the tea between bites."

 

"Different cult entirely," Lissa says breezily. "Basically, I sometimes carry the Harlot Goddess energy, and by sometimes I mean most of the time, and almost always during ritual work. It keeps my head on right--keeps me firmly oriented away from my upbringing, and also it keeps my tendency to mother everything smaller or more vulnerable than me in a ten-mile radius under control. Compassion is the vice of kings, Chesed without Geburah is unbalanced, yada yada I'm sure it's just different words for stuff you already know. I was raised as an ascetic. I was also raised to believe that releasing people from the miseries of being alive was a holy calling to be performed whenever anyone was willing to make an offering to the murder cult."

 

"Well," says Ford, "there's really something wrong with you if you get pleasure out of hurting people and violating their Wills, don't you think? The problem there is not pursuing pleasure, the problem there is a lack of empathy combined with a lack of common sense because even if you don't feel for other people, you ought to be smart enough to realise that treating people and other sapient beings like objects produced for your use and abuse alone is a really good way to get painfully murdered eventually."

Ford shrugs. "I think we were talking about that just a moment ago, actually. At any rate, your Mother Giselle wouldn't like me, because I really dislike religions where it's assumed that the Creator who made everything takes pleasure in watching their creations suffer and punishes them for indulging the drives he himself gave them (it's almost always a he, after all). That sort of deity would be the worst sort of sociopathic sadist and long overdue for a painful murdering, don't you think? At least the cattes' most awful religion isn't about punishing people for being what they are."

 

'Compassion is the vice of kings' is a new one. I wouldn't say it's a vice they practice often, in that case. But I am glad that you're less... murderous now. Or so I hope, at least. Cole still has trouble with killing those who suffer, because it's how he learned Compassion very early on, but we're working on it.

Ah, but therein lies the problem, doesn't it? Excess always hurts someone, but it's easy to claim that you aren't hurting anyone by making a river unfishable or banning hunting in the woods next to a village of starving shems. Certainly you aren't holding the knife to their throats if you're an Orlesian noble-- executing the poor yourself is crass unless you're a chevalier, only the finest of noble blood must stain your gloves in the Game-- but they're dead and suffering all the same.

[He snorts.] And, of course, you'd be hard pressed to get a Magister or an Altus to admit that slaves might be sapient.

Either way, you're right that she wouldn't like you. She's not fond of Dorian either-- he likes prodding too much. I think she might be less fond of me were I more open about my heathen roots and atheist leanings, but I don't talk much about how little I think of the Maker. Our gods were locked away against their will; the Maker left.

 

[Afterglow doesn't say anything as he appears, but he is smiling. It is a gentle, suspiciously innocent smile.]

Isn't that how it always goes? And of course they have to be such pains to convince otherwise.

 

wow man what the fuck getting my EXQUISITE and refined tastes shat on
you have not lived until youve eaten easy cheese directly out of the can while in your underwear
cheese going everywhere but you dont care because its barely even cheese anyway and no one else will ever know how low youve sunk
plumbing the easy cheese depths

and philistine my ass im a master of the arts
it takes EFFORT to be this hugely bad at something i have worked for my status as a boil on the face of the art world
toiling away in the jpg mines to feed my wife and kids

fucking sick thanks

[he takes it and chows the fuck down, letting the honey drip into the tea as instructed before taking a drink]

hmm
i like it i gotta say im a simple man and this checks all the boxes wrt whether or not ill eat something
its definitely a sometimes food but when the sometimes comes around youll catch me diving the hell in like im tryna take a bath in this shit

[sluuuurp]

 

Spoiler: nichrome no stop calling for violent revolution all the time

I find that eating the rich usually helps them realize that their slaves were people after all :)

 

I LIKE EATIN' BOTS!

 

Of course! After all, if things weren't meant to be this way, then they wouldn't be, right? Certainly it's not possible for them to have engineered this sort of thing. That's ridiculous backwater Southern thinking, that is.

Eating them might be a bit excessive in this case. For one, there's not enough to go around.

 

Spoiler: black humor?? glow stop

[Amused:] No, I've had rather enough of them in my mouth already, I'm not too keen on more of that.

And questions were meant to be erased, not entertained!

 

I'm sure creative portioning would get around that. Just because it's not very filling doesn't mean it won't put a dent in the hunger.

 

[She snorts.]
Fair, fair.

 

Well, when the inferiors ask questions it's only because they're too stupid to understand the simplest facts of life, aren't they? After all, they wouldn't be asking if they knew anything!

I think your portion sizes are either much smaller or the rich much larger than ours would be. [He grins.]