shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

hell yeah im all for new food experiences
and i dont think so i mean i just chugged some radioactive shit like it was a fuckin big gulp and didnt keel over or anything so you could probably eat this without your digestive system going on strike

[he offers her a slice]

 

Not being expected to pull off the impossible, perhaps?

[Afterglow steals the energon cube Dave abandoned, sizing it up appropriately. No point in wasting it, even if it's dream-food.]

 

Lissa takes a first bite, then ends up picking off some of the vegetables. The green peppers are a definite NO. The crust is very chewy. "Interesting," she says after the second bite. "I don't understand, this is more bready to me than the crust of my pizza. My pizza's crust is a lot crisper." She takes a deep breath. "Why do humans like bread? It isn't bad, it's just...not good, either. I know that cake is more interesting if you have better sugar receptors in your tongue than I do, but bread is just...bread."

 

-looks amused- I´m glad we agree on each other´s food.

Why would anyone..nevermind. If course they would.

 

Don't know about humans, but chewing is fun!!! [Where did a giant bug come from? And why does any smile need that many fangs in it?]

 

It keeps pretty well. Thick crust pizza sticks around better than thin crust, and it costs just as much, so... Might as well get the thing that sticks around and doesn't need much heating up.

 

-is gathering any and all crumb for nibble purposes-

 

its like
it goes with everything man
only got cheese and bread in the house well shit thats a sandwich
tastes better than straight cheese or straight bread and is more filling too
but im gonna be honest my tastes arent exactly refined i basically eat trash
this is good ass trash dgmw but im not fuckin eating roses artsy fartsy thirty dollar for a teaspoon of some fuckin liver paste shit

doesnt need any heating up ftfy
cold pizza is a rare delicacy you can only appreciate when you wake up at 3am and gotta get your snack on

[oh no, he drops an unusually large amount of crumbs. oopsie.]

 

Sort of loses the appeal after the fifth week in a row, but that's when you start ordering the weird shit to keep yourself going. Or switch over to fried rice. Only problem is that cheap Chinese food doesn't keep as easy outside of the fridge.

 

fuckin tell me about it
i used to fuckin slam down as much pizza or chinese or whatever as fast as i could because shit spoils fast when you dont have ac in scenic houston
didnt get a TON of delivery though so i didnt get burnout until month six of weird alchemized aftertaste
leftovers still fill me with childlike wonder
dont need no disney land i got REFRIGERATORS

 

Thank you Sir!

 

[He winces, a little exaggeratedly.]

Houston, huh? That's a rough one. Chicago's not so bad, if you don't mind the weather, but it definitely let you keep pizza boxes around for longer. Plenty of places that deliver too, Chinese and pizza are just the ones that taste best on day five. Donuts aren't half bad, but I never end up getting them as often as I'd like them.

 

hahaha nbd dude just calling me dave is fine
whats your name
do you want like super tiny versions of what were eating cause we can do that here
or are you crumb lyfe all the time

man i was not born for the cold i couldnt do chicago id die
still not used to fuckin snow in the winter
what is this frozen water shit
gross
anyway we had all sorts of places it pretty much smelled like ass sweat and grease every evening when the starving throngs started stampeding after the food trucks or into a mcdonalds or whatever
we just didnt order it a lot and fuck if it ever lasted more than a night

 

Call me Lysander if we are to be familiar. I would not object to some cheese or small food, no.

 

Yeah, I guess it could be pretty rough. I haven't been down south much-- San Francisco doesn't really count. Hit Tampa once, and Atlanta for the banks, but mostly I stick up north. Just as many ports, but the infrastructure's a little better. New York still hasn't integrated ctOS fully, but there's enough there to work with.

You, uh, you eat better now though, right?

 

fuck yeah dude
[he appearifies tiny, mouse-sized pizza and sets it down next to lysander]
idk about being familiar im lookin to be polite

whats ctos my earth got fucked back when the iphone 3 was hot shit
ios caveman version
which coincidentally means i havent been many other earth a places besides houston

define eating better though cause i use a fridge now but i cant say a dietician would be pleased with the food i got in it
oh mr strider sir it looks like youre eating the actual concept of heart disease coalesced into edible form dont you think thats a bit risky
fuck you im immortal bring on the big macs
cant cook for shit but when youre god turns out that doesnt matter
im set for life my dude

 

I think just having a fridge means you're eating better, but I'm not much of a judge. Nicky used to run me out of the kitchen every time I tried something more complicated than baking-- apparently I'm a "menace to society" when I try to stir fry on my own.

I'm not an expert, but ctOS is an integrated networking system that connects the majority of basic city infrastructure into the same network as consumer homes and devices. The idea is that your traffic lights, your house lights, and your phone are all connected, so you can tell exactly how long it'll take you to drive home and you can make sure the lights are on before you get there. Add in banking apps, facial recognition, cloud data storage... everything you do it monitored and collected.

Apparently it's supposed to make everyone's lives easier. Mostly it makes mine easier, because total network access means there's nothing I can break into, given enough time. Handy, when you do the kind of work I do. Pretty rough on anyone who tries to go off the grid without backdoor access, though.

 

It's uh... Big brother monitoring all your shit, people like me getting basic 'likelihood to commit a crime' based simply on the color of my skin, police using programs meant to protect them from the bad guys to protect the bad guys... Sure, it's a city operating system, but it's also a fuckface putting cameras in kids toys to help 'watch them' in case of problems and then stealing all of those video feeds and selling it to other perverted fuck faces. It's a system that looks great in theory and doesn't work on paper because corporations can't be trusted.

 

It's BULLSHIT is what it is!
>_<

Fucking big corporations teaming up with the goddamn FEDS to track and profile EVERYONE! And then they turn around and SELL THAT SHIT and FRAME ANYONE WHO TRIES TO FIGHT IT so they can fucking control everything! They're rigging the votes! They're framing the fucking revolution! THEY'RE KILLING PEOPLE AND EVERYONE THINKS IT'S GREAT BECAUSE IT'S SO SHINY AND NEW!!!
`_´

 

...Yeah, that too. You boys DedSec?