shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

I'm-- Not going to say what I wanted to say because you'll turn it into the world's most unfortunate innuendo like it's your super power.

I mean, the positive is that he's really good at what he does so..???

 

WHAT? HAHA loser, of course that's how u make frnds

~~~(8:>

 

With the prices he charges, he'd better be.

I thought you were dead? Or did T-Bone just get another one of your body doubles?

 

Dependz on the continuity my man! Yeah, Raymond Kenny and his Wrinkly Ballsack of a boyfriend killed me dead as hell.

In sum I'm still alive tho, coulda lived maybe. Prolly not tho

 

You just don't appreciate the level of artistic talent that goes into my comedy. I'm a fucking savant, Pearce.

Hey, you said it, not me. You've got one of those chatsnaps, right? Of course you do, you're like... fifteen. All the teens are doing it these days.

Which reminds me: you missed a payment, so you might want to fix that. I'm not running a fucking nonprofit here, I've got books to maintain. You're just lucky I like you.

 

No, mostly because they leak information like hell. Is this you formally asking me to send you random pictures that I take at random times of day? Why, Jordi, I didn't realize we were that close.

 

Wrinkly Ballsack of a boyfriend? What the fuck is my life.

So you're... dead. And here. That's great. Do you just stick around and harass everyone that comes through here, or am I special?

Did not, check your bank statement again. I'm not dumb enough to stiff you.

 

Ur special because u still don't know how to dress, like goddamn boi how do u fucking SURVIVE

But nah, I live here. I mostly watch, like a voyeur.

 

You've got my number, I'm not about to stop you from sending me identifying information. Go wild, kid. Do a striptease while you're at it.

 

I can't believe you just said that. Who said it'd be identifying? Maybe it's just the letter P spelled out in penis shaped confetti. I don't know, I'll let my moods determine. Maybe it'll just be someone's left toenail, or perhaps a bunch of pictures of DND monster manuals that prove that orange puddings are not a thing.

 

It turns out that a good jacket can help you in almost all forms of inclement weather. And my sweaters are comfortable, which helps me ride out the shame of my apparent lack of fashion.

It's better than a dumb hoodie and an LED mask, at least.

 

...That sure is a thing to walk in to.

 

... *Starts cackle laughing and giggling*

YOU LOOK LIKE A HOBO, MY MAN!!!!!! Oh that was fuckin' cute, holy shit you tried. Look at him go...

 

I'm not sure what I'm more offended by, the fact that you're attempting to school me on DnD, or the fact that you think I can't identify you based on a toenail and a penis confetti retailer. Either way, the pictures mean you're thinking about me real hard, and you know what?

I can live with that. Bet you check behind you for tails now, don't you?

 

Marcus is cheating on us with AIDEN FUCKING PEARCE and Mr. Murder The Yacht.
;_;

 

Hey, fuck off. Online ordering is a thing, and what if it's not my toenail. Also I bet I can get proof that you were wrong and they're called Gels, Jellies, Slimes, or Oozes.

Aw man, hey Sit. Sorry, this is the dude that nearly killed everyone in the games shop. His name is Jordi, please don't look into his eyes he'll steal your soul.

Dude, why are you jealous of Jordi tho? Like, also you could talk to Aiden too? Dude's chill even if DJ Mickey Mouse over there is being a dick to him.

 

*LAUGHING HARDER. Is now on his ass kicking his feet wheeze-laughing because that is the best thing to happen to him in a while holy shit.*

 

Gotcha, no eyecontact. -grins but moves closer to marcus- [Encryped text: Is tall dark and nasty still on your case?]

-mock outrage- Marcus, how could you!

 

I mean, it's a great joke.

 

[Encrypted response: Nah ty for the worry. I think he's a deeply lonely and troubled individual that I want nothing to do with, but I don't mind him occasionally glancing my way. I doubt I could hide anyhow.]