shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

It's a learned skill. It helps to think of them as lesser creatures, covering up how desperately they want to be you by gossiping about you.

[He wraps an arm around her, snapping his fingers and manifesting a curtain between them and @Congessi. That's enough of that, he thinks.]

 

"Be thankful he exists--that's normal and natural." Lissa nods knowingly. "I'm thankful for this big guy. But you shouldn't have to be thankful it's even allowed."

"To be perfectly fair, Ford treated me like a project for a while, but I kind of was, so that was okay. After all, I was originally a cult assassin, and they sent me after him. But I fell in love with him instead." She shrugs. "I was good at my job, but I'm better at growing flowers, taming wild animals, doing sex magic, and herding children."

 

I, I really don't think of you that way anymore! I'm sorry!

 

????

[Welp. Social: failed. Somehow. A+. Gess is just gonna... sit here and poke at a datapad for a while.]

 

Oh sweetspark, I know. And I don't think any less of you for it either. You know I cherish you, and I know you wouldn't do anything to hurt me. It's alright.

[He squeezes her closer, then firmly presses a cube of engex into one of her hands.]

 

-She sips it.-

You and Flux get on a lot better anyway.

 

I think he and I are more compatible, yes. But I don't doubt that there's someone incredibly stylish in heels out there for you. Statistically, it's fairly likely.

 

-has appeared a bottle of pomegranate vodka and is drinking like it's her job. Being a demon, it kinda is. She continues petting the medicat-

-she climbs back up to resume ear skritches- Laverna. I don't like it shortened but I'll accept other nicknames.

 

"I'm pretty good at putting up a tough front myself now and again," Ford allows, "but since I just met you, I obviously can't tell what is and isn't the front." He grins. "And I don't think that was a threat. Sounded kind of envious, to me..."

 

S´a nice name! -purrs and laps-

 

Well why the pits not? It's not like I'm entitled to being allowed to hug him. Even when there's no outside factors prohibiting he could still just tell me to get lost. I'm thankful he doesn't.

 

Thank you. She was the goddess of thieves and counterfeit.

 

Envy's not particularly charming, no matter how it's packaged, but especially not when your being ominous as slag about it.

 

Heh. It's not even the heels, it's...

You're completely okay with who and what you are no matter what other people say. And that's really attractive to me, platonically and romantically. Because... you know?

 

[He smiles and runs a hand over one of her pigtails.]

Yes, I know. And you'll find someone like that too. Maybe even get some thicker plating as time goes on. It's very easy to see me and think that I was dropped out of the factory like this, but I was very much not this confident when I was younger. It takes time, sweetspark. You'll get there in the end.

 

I haven't asked you a lot about how things were when you were my age. It feels like that's probably sensitive for you?

 

Yes and no. They were bad, and I didn't have an angry, independent sister looking out for me. But I lived, and that's better than most of the mechs in slums can say.

 

"You know what I meant," Lissa said firmly. "You're not entitled and neither is he, but you both want to, so there's nothing to stop you. Celebrate it."

 

Living is a victory.

 

It is, isn't it?

[He smiles again.]