shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Ford shrugs. "Suit yourself, but I am not explaining this to Karkat," he says with a smile. "My ears couldn't take it."

 

karkat
doesnt need to know
i guess unless he walks in mid death
but barring that nobodys gonna have to explain it unless someone opens their trap and spills the beans
we need these beans firmly in their jar keep the lid on those fuckers tighter than a virgin asshole
press your lips so close together your mouth just looks like a single pixel line

[he pauses and thinks about this for a second. rghh, why is relationship so difficult?? communication is hard ):]
bluh ok i will probably tell him just because id accidentally blab sooner or later
still gonna do it tho

 

"I meant if it doesn't work out the way you think it will," says Ford. "It would never occur to me to tell him something that he didn't actually need to know. I'm not the guy in red."

 

One, the fuck is a minion, and two - as long as somebody dies I'm down.

I don't think anything could make me rethink my life choices, kiddo. 'Sides, I'm the hero, so it's not like I have to.

[He laughs, lounging back in the air.]

 

[An immense, always-shifting mass of brassy mechanical parts lets out a single, disbelieving note of laughter.]

 

if it goes wrong which it wont
im sure hell be able to puzzle that little mystery out

[dave is now wearing a minion shirt, space pants, and yellow canvas shoes. he points to his shirt]
these little pieces of heaven are called minions

 

[Jack turns his gaze to the... weirdly designed robot, who reminds him of a loader bot more than anything - but he sure as shit didn't design this one. He glares.]

Got somethin' to say, cupcake?

Spoiler: nsfw

That looks like something you'd put in your ass.

[Jack's cackling at the image of a minion butt plug.]

 

[Still amused:] No heroes, only people who think they are and ruin worlds in their games.

 

[Jack's face twists in rage. Oh boy, here comes one of his tantrums.]

'Ruin worlds'? Sweetheart, that world is already ruined. I'm saving it! Those bandits are so fucking full of themselves, focused on nothing but what's in their greedy little hearts that they won't even try to be civilized. I'm the only goddamn one of us who's trying to help those poor fools, so I'm pretty fucking sure that makes me the hero. Don't try and toss your own broken hero worship onto me just 'cause somebody let you down.

 

[Laughter! Boisterous laughter! There's still no obvious mouth. Or face.] Bandits, is it this time? And how are you "helping" them?A blade to the spark? Combination? Organization? Changing their minds? Introducing them to cheese? So many options!

 

The frag is cheese An´how would it help? -Sawbones has awakened, and has a hangover-

 

Nothing, yet. I kind of, you know, just came back from the dead so it's not like I've had time to plan out what my next steps are going to be. But it's probably going to have to do with getting rid of those goddamn New-U Stations.

[He cocks a brow.]

How the everloving fuck is cheese supposed to cure them of being greedy, good for nothing bandits?

 

"Cheese is delicious," says Lissa, blithely innocent of the context. "Although I don't know if you can eat it."

She produces a tray of cheeses and meats, and proceeds to wrap cheese around meat and eat it, after which she feeds the next one to Ford.

 

Cheese is a food! Better for some people than others. Excellent fun!

And how, to borrow your phrasing, the everloving fuck do you expect to "cure" anyone of doing what they please? That way lies domestication, squishy, and that's not something a hero would do to people, now is it? [There is a smile now, broad and toothy and... apparently in the middle of an insectoid limb?]

 

Looks organic, so probly a bad idea. Especially right now. -she doesn´t look to hot-

Ye know what else´s fun? Frozen energon!

 

[Jack responds with his own, toothy grin.]

A domesticated cat is better than a feral one, gear head.

A hero's gotta do what a hero's gotta do, whether or not the people - or robots - think it's right. All the villains think they're in the right, just like those dirty bandits.

Also -

[He holds up a finger, making a face. He shoves his hand through the ground.]

How, exactly, am I squishy right now?

 

"Sadly I don't think my special hangover cure will work on you." Lissa sighs.

 

Oh look, another mi! This one is chasing an amublatory blueberry with fangs. Was it a monster before the mi was in the rave? we just don´t know.-

 

Unfortunately. If m´ head hurt less I could make some frozen energon.

 

Booo-ring. Unless it explodes. Kemst could make the strangest things!

Some cats are people, but not all people are cats, feel me?

And while we're talking that-- "all villains think they're in the right," he says, tryna convince me he's definitely in the right, no doubts about it. Try a little harder, bucko.

You think you're the first ghost I've seen? Squishy while alive, squishy dead, usually. Just 'cos I can't touch you don't mean there aren't people who can.