shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

-Agreeing chirps!-

-Chitters hello!-

 

*softly* You okay there?

 

[Hivebite looks distressed for a moment, his wings twitching.] I... yes, I can see how that's a problem. My last colony did get all but destroyed by war. I suppose I'm just so used to it that I've never really... thought about the issues war can cause?

[He instantly cheers back up.] <Hello new friend!!!>

 

Oh, I would simply adore that. I haven't had a chance to update my collections because we've been on the TEAM and prior to that, Hedonia didn't really have much in the way of new species for me to talk to, but I've been trying to keep records of all the spacefaring species in the galaxy.

[He decisively pulls four dataslabs out, then hands them over.]

The Black Block Consortia is... the other side of the Galactic Council, if you will. They're a crime syndicate with ties into species that refused to join the Council, or were refused in turn. Our fleet had to deal with them because Cybertronians had been blacklisted by the Council, but they could be quite civil. That has held less true as time has gone on. The genocide of the colony Prion was their doing.

 

ฬђץ ฬ๏ยɭ๔ เ ๒є קɭєครє๔ Շ๏ รєє คภץ קгเ๓є?

Spoiler

Why would I be pleased to see any Prime?

 

"Jesus fuck," says Lissa, "do you want to talk to me and eat my food or do you want to be a nasty little shit about my self-care? If I was trying to defend you I'd be a whole lot more aggressive about it, bitch." She rolls her eyes at him. "I was raised by a fucking death cult, okay? I can't let any more of that crap in my brain. If you're going to judge me for that while at the same time confusing me with my husband like we're the same person, that's fine, but you asked me for advice before and I was trying to talk to you about that topic and you blew me off because I took time to think about what I was saying, only you didn't even do it in the fun way!"

She sighs.

"Jeez," she says. "Is this as long as a person can be around you without starting to act like your fucking so-called friends?"

"That's very true." Lissa nods. "But don't forget, I wasn't addressing a Transformer, either."

 

"I'd also be interested in that information," Ford says, and then catches what Church is saying.

"You can say whatever you want to me, Church, but don't you dare talk to her like that."

 

-greeting chirp- [What hive are you from? I don´t think I´ve ever met anyone with your build.]

 

[Jack throws his hands up in the air. If he was programmed for it, his hair would be wrecked from running his hands through it.]

Oh, I'm swell, sweetheart! Just learned there's some powerful thing controlling everything around me, seemingly strong enough to house a yet-to-be-determined number of beings at once without total collapse, and so far it doesn't seem like it's a weapon. So I can't be a hundred percent sure it's from a Vault! It might even be a weapon! It could be a fucking mind prison or some bullshit, now that'd be fucking lovely. Is this my own personal hell? Or some kind of purgatory? I can't fucking tell you, 'cause for all my vast knowledge I've never heard of power like this!!

[He continues to ramble on in a furious voice.]

 

Ah, perfect. Here, why don't I just--

[And now there's a shelf perfectly sized for Ford, with all the dataslabs written in English instead of glyphs.]

I'm not sure the system will translate properly into English-- you do read English, yes? I can do Mandarin as well-- but if you start at the upper left corner, you'll find some of the core Council races with the greatest political heft currently.

Think of it like a dream. Or some form of cosmic joke, crafted specifically to taunt you, but trapping the rest of us in its unending attempts to ensnare you for its cruel ends. What is a 'Vault'?

 

<Uhm..> [He seems at a loss for words, face scrunching up. He's not quite sure himself.] <Originally? Not really sure? But right now I'm with @ShockCollar ! He's my queen!!>

 

HAPPY PAGE 618!!!!

​

 

-sighs- No harm done I suppose.

I never said you were. Merely that I am pleased to see you. I have renounced my title, you do not owe me your attention. i merely ask you leave me in peace in that case.

 

[What´s a queen?]

 

[He summons up a stack of data pads of his own to exchange for the ones Burlesque gives him] I am afraid that my notes aren't terribly complete considering the aquatic nature and the fact that they actively avoided me, but I managed to collect some. I also have a more complete if mostly archaeological account of the extinct one that inhabited the planet around the time of my arrival but as said, they are extinct so I am not sure how interesting those would be to you?

[He takes the four dataslabs and subspaced three of them on the spot for later reading]

Prion...? Oh. [his optics go dim for a moment and then very bright. Oh that's where Iridium was from.] Oh Primus.

 

​

What the frag?

 

"English is my native language, and my Mandarin's quite rusty. So this will be fine! Thanks," Ford says, grinning. "In case we ever have to go jaunting again, this could be very useful."

 

Lissa shrugs. "That looks like my niece Alex when she was about thirteen, so I'd say that was a Mabel pranking us. Not sure which one it is though!"

 

Ŧ๏гςє๔ קєคςє เร ภ๏ קєคςє คՇ คɭɭ

Spoiler

Forced peace is no peace at all

 

... oh. Oh. *sighs* I guess I seriously fucking misread things there, didn't I?

*rolls his eyes* You say that, but she was the one who stepped in to fight your battle before. Like, I would've gladly called you an idiot to your face. Fucking gladly! But she was the one that I replied to me when I told you that you were wrong.

And she gets mad at me for confusing you guys - well, I'd have a lot less trouble with that if you two acted less like a fucking unit. I say something to you, she replies, she says something to me, I reply to her, and then you reply! It's some serious Eta and Iota shit you two've got going on here!

​

*deer in the headlights, wtf-type expression*

*sighs* I'm not sure what it fucking is either. It would be nice if I could be sure, but... I can't and well... I dunno what to do about it. About any of this.