shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

*Amethyst sees the cat. Her eyes widen. Finally, a creature who GETS her.*

here kitty im down 2 per u get over hre

 

... why do you think that'd change what they all think of you in here? Does it have to do with your Vault-thingies? With you thinking this place is a Vault?

*light laugh* And if so, how would you explain me?

 

Yeah, that's a good route to job security. Tell me how that goes or... don't, I guess, since I'm giving you a life expectancy of like five years. Less than five years? How'd you go about becoming code anyways?

[He makes a face.] Wait, you're not one of those D20 Modern shitheads, are you? Fuck, I hate that system. It's like all the boring bits and none of the interesting ones. At least W40K has some fucking personality to it.

 

"No, it's a cat. I could show you a picture of a goblin if you really need me to. We've got all sorts of things living in the Falls." Mason rolls his eyes and crosses his arms across his chest. The gesture is eerily reminiscent of @Stanford G. Pines. "So. Your former partner actually did something to earn the title of 'bandit' fair and square. She sounds like a bitch. Ten points for House Grumblegore! But you still haven't explained to me how more than fifty percent of the other people on your planet earned that title, or why I should take your word for it when you yourself admit that being a hundred percent honest is kind of a rare thing for you, moonpie."

 

Mreh! *Tail up, look at how cute he is and how he can't quite walk like a Normal Cat but that's fine it makes him look like he's sashaying and swinging his hips*

*SHRIMP.*

Mreh! Mrrrr *Squeaky tiny meows, motherfuckin' eats that shrimp and then bats the shrimp tail around.*

... *stares at Jordi* ....

MEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

*trots RIGHT PAST because he's rude. Picks up a large stuffed toy in the shape of a human hand that he picked up -- Where did you get that you weird cat?-- and trots over to Jordi, screaming the whole time with the toy in his mouth. Drops it at his feet. A KILL FOR A KILL.*

*PRAISE THE HUNTER, APOLLO, FOR HE BRINGS YOU A KILL*

 

karkat no thats deadpool
blah blah earth centric asshole what the fuck is deadpool why do i care
he is a cool ass comic book gremlin
i mean barring the gratuitous blood and violence which dont sit so well with me anymore
if deadpool says jump then i say how high within a reasonable frame
mr pool if we kiss will you sign my ass

 

WAIT. FUCK. LET ME TACKLE THAT AGAIN.

[ahem]

yeah buddy well your friend is a glowstick. a douche-shaped glowstick. a glow dick if you will.

 

-This isn´t Tross´first slapfight rodeo, so he has managed to keep an arm. Some misdirection as to where he doesn´t want bits of Mala to go, and also some forcefield. Also more making mala bundles as he can-

 

"Deadpool!" Lissa stands up and squees in the general direction of @Merc With A Mouth. She is so bored with Church right now. She actually didn't think he was an idiot before...but now she kind of does. "Good to see you!"

 

He's the only one what can actually do anything in his world, save the couple of worldwalkers what pop through here every now and then. Or are you gonna just magic up a multiverse portal and stop your precious little bandits without lettin' 'im kill any of 'em?

And since when am I makin' up tragic anything? I don't give much a frag about these bandits any more'n any other person, but a group's a group and I've taken a disliking to Jackie's logic of "the ones I've met're bad so they're all bad".

 

Your mom is a glowstick!

 

[He picks up the hand and then throws it, because that's what you do with cats. Right.]

 

[If you keep this up you're just going to end up with two Malas, Tross. As it is, the bundles are connected by improbably-thin spires. One has made itself a seat on top of Megatronus's head. A perfect throne.]

 

wow

fucking insensitive dude

 

*Watches this. Judges. Wow, this human is bad at accepting gifts. HE MUST. DO IT AGAIN.*

*Wobble / ambles after toy, comes back with it-- muffled scream/meows until he drops it. Followed by a soft little squeak, loud purring, and aggressive leg rubbing.*

 

[Cat fetch: achieved. Jordi picks up the toy, then picks up the cat and sets the cat on the bar. Yep.]

I'm pretty sure cats are supposed to be smarter than this. You want some beer?

 

--gently put his hand over a mouth- Shsh brother, It´s not prima´s fault it´s mine.-

-Really? There´s sharp bits up there. He rolls his optics up- You make a lovely hat brother dearest.

 

Yerself.

 

*Louder purrs. How can he purr this loud. Tries to step forward and headbutt, only to nearly fall off the bar. Flops instead, rolling around and purr-trilling.*

 

[Jack opens his mouth, holding a finger up, but stops short before saying anything. He hums.]

You got eaten by a Vault weapon too? But... wait, that'd mean I got eaten by a Vault weapon. Rhys' wasn't close enough to a Vault to fucking get eaten by one of their weapons. Unless I was asleep for way fucking longer than I though, in which case, what the fuck? And if so, shouldn't Rhys be in here too? God, this is going to give me a headache.

Uh, don't know what a D20 Modern is, but I'm gonna go with no. And how the fuck am I supposed to die, I'm like, untouchable like this?

Eh, it's got something to do with Nakayama and his weird as obsession with me. The specifics aren't important.

And I should show you the shit that's living down on Pandora.

Pandora is poor. Like, really poor. When kids are put to bed with stories of Vaults and untold wealth, they start getting ideas. Ideas lead them to go look for a Vault, and along the way they either become bandits or Vault Hunters - who are just glorified bandits, by the way. Everyone gets turned into a bandit if they aren't set straight.

[Jack smiles.]

The most cat of cats right here.

[Jack cocks a brow.]

Touché.