shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

*takes a deep breath*

*he thinks he's got a good line, one as smooth as the ones jack's been using, but... what if... what if it comes off wrong*

*comes off as too full of himself*

*light laugh* Or maybe I'm the light shining deep down in the pit just for you. Who even fucking knows?

 

[Jack giggles helplessly, floating up in the air as he holds his stomach. A wide grin splits across his face.]

Oh my god, that's adorable. Light shining in the pits of hell! Aw, cupcake, you make this pacifistic snuggle party bearable.

 

*smirks*

Knew I could sweep you off your feet if I tried.

*he knew no such thing, had no idea he'd succeed, but he knew how to put up a confident front*

*and he knew that jack's confidence was a crucial part of what made his flirting so effective on him*

*made him such a ladykiller - wait no, churchkiller, wait no, that just sounded weird*

*anyway... it was sexy*

*and if church could be even a 1/10th as sexy to jack as jack's confidence was to him, well... that'd be awesome*

*well okay to be fair things were already awesome*

*he just wanted to impress jack too*

 

it was .. another your mom joke... in the hallowed tradition of... ... you know, i think i'm just gonna give up on communication for the day

 

Alex laughs and offers Reed a can of Pitt Cola.

"Me too," she says ruefully. "Friends?"

 

oh hey thanks! sure, okay, why not.

 

[Jack fucking snorts, laughing harder.]

Sweet everloving fuck, oh my god, sweetheart. The execution of that was flawless, I can't even--

[He sort of glitches out and disappears, before popping back up on the other side of Church. He wipes at his eyes like he'd been programmed to cry.]

That was just too good, cupcake. You should do that more often.

[He's laughing still, and it could be taken as a joke, but he's sincere as he can get.]

 

Alex grins at Reed and drinks the other can of soda. "I can't believe that just happened," she says in a soft voice, glancing sidewise at Church and Jack. "The things you see in this place! Those two have more red flags in the air than May Day in Leningrad."

 

*church restrains a fistpump, not wanting to ruin his cool, suave front*

*even though he's partly basing it off of what he likes about jack and he likes it when jack is a dork too*

*his standards for his performance are higher Because Reasons*

*in a tone of voice straight out of a medieval romance*

If it pleases you, I shall.

*and to finish off his killer line, a bow*

*he maaaay have mixed up cool, suave dude and romantic hero but... eh... they're similar enough*

 

[Jack floats over and tucks two fingers under Church's chin - not touching, so he doesn't phase through him on accident.]

It's very pleasing, sweetheart.

 

[Reed props up her chin in her hands and surveys the scene]

it's gonna go so, so bad and yet i can't really bring myself to care

 

*blushes*

*and all his pretty words turn to dust in his head and fly away*

*and he can't even bring himself to miss them*

*all he can do is shiver pleasantly and lean in for a kiss*

*never mind that jack's insubstantial*

*he just wants that kiss too badly to care*

 

"I know right? I'm basically just sitting here watching the trainwreck." Alex shakes her head. "I thought I was better than this, but apparently not."

 

oh my god PLEASE let him fall through ghost douche [chinhands]

 

Alex grins at Reed gleefully. "Please," she says quietly.

 

[Jack gives the ghost of a kiss. Ha! Ghost. The look on Church's face is, honestly, adorable.]

[Jack pulls back and flips them off, grinning.]

Sorry, I don't think so.

 

Gwendolyn looks up from her conversation with Mason and sighs. This is sad and pathetic and she's going to throw them a bone anyway.

"Hey blue dude," she says. "You don't have to be incorporeal here unless you just want to be. Dream yourself up a body, then dream yourself up a private bubble and give that poor guy what he's asking for already. Just don't make the rest of us watch."

 

*more pleasant shivers for church*

*he smiles blissfully*

*and then he falls down but not through jack, since jack pulled away*

*falls down and down and down till...*

Oof.

*his body hurts where it hit the floor and yet he'd gladly take the fall again just for another kiss*

 

First, the names Handsome Jack, and second, shit, really? Lemme try that. Uh...

[He moves away and just kind of... stands there, making a face like he's concentrating. After a minute he kind of glitches out and again he disappears. He doesn't come back right away this time. Though when he does he's not blue, and he's a hundred percent solid flesh. He's not really sure how long that'll stay but - he flexes his fingers. Jack laughs.]

[Jack walks over to him and extends a hand, grinning like an idiot.]

Check it out, cupcake. I'm all flesh and bone and squishy organs again! Like my meat suit?

 

*church takes his hand and gets up*

*it's nice, finally being able to feel his boyfriend, feel him be firm and real and there*

*grins*

Yep.

*goes in for the kiss again, now that they can do it the normal way*