shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

... Nope, not easy. Nuh. Boys's easy, boys make sense.

*Squints at Jordi*

Wuh, got a problem bein' not top? All is good, d'care where jus' wanna have fun.

... ...

Yeaaahhh but... but you're a girl. N'fair that he got a girl t'like him when I can't do that, an' I d'like girls cause they're confusing...

Spoiler: NSFW

An' vaginas kinna scare me.

*SAD now. Clearly he has more than one complex to deal with, and now he's SAD drinking at his returned drink.*

 

Yeah, because they're just like girls. Both are basically the same set of emotional responses to specific stimuli, right? Functionally the same.

[He shrugs, drinks.] It's easier to kick someone out in the morning if you're the one walking straight. Don't have much experience with that though, do you?

 

Why w'I kick Wrench out? D'know how to take care of himself, he'd eat ice cream for breakfast. I gotta cook f'him. Duh.

 

Lissa rolls her eyes at him. "What makes you think girls don't top, little boy in the kiddie pool?"

Lissa pats his thigh. "What makes you think that I don't like you too?" She sighs.

Spoiler: NSFW

"Oh sweetie. That is not the only option, particularly if I'm getting it from you both."

 

Oh, cute. Commitment. I forgot you went in on that whole 'boyfriend' thing. You can cook?

[Have another shot, Marcus.]

Girls who top get kicked out, I don't make the rules. Someone pulls out a strap-on, I'm gone. Is there a reason why you keep trying to prod me into hatesex, or is this just a thing you do to everyone?

 

D'know? Girls usually don't.

I... *Wise drunk moment:* Prolly better t'talk t'me when'm sober... I w'remember this, an's hard fer me to think through shiiiit like this. I jus' keep thinkin' 'bout how cute Wrench'd be w'ears like yers.

Duh, gotta fuel m'body right. Can't eat pizza'n ramen all the tiiiiimeeeee

*Takes the shot, hell yes*

Gotta be fit, can't climb buildings when you're not fit.

 

Lissa snorts. "I'm not trying to prod you into anything. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't like me, Jordi, because even when I'm on my back I always make the rules."

 

Oh, look, I think we might be soulmates. You wouldn't believe the absolutely disgusting shit most fixers put in their bodies, fucking four week old pizza and a jar of pickles. What the fuck, right?

Uh-huh. I'm just saying, there's some tension here. And it's a bar. And Marcus doesn't have a shirt on.

[He grins.] You can admit you like me, I won't tell.

 

"I'll talk to you when you're sober, of course," Lissa says, and kisses his cheek. "But I'm not most girls. I'm me. And Wrench would be freaking adorable with ears like mine. You could scritch 'em and listen to him purr."

 

*The biggest D: face of all time*

no... *Whispered with horror*

YEAH! Let's do it... can we do that? How can we do that. LESSSDOTHIS! somehow...

*Trails off, there goes that train of thought* Yer a good.

 

Yes, really. I watched Aiden drink an entire pot of week-old coffee once. Straight from the carafe. He wasn't even doing it to make a point, he just does shit like that.

 

m'gonna cry. D'do me like this man. Why.

 

He picked up a thing of fries that fell under the carseat once and ate them in front of me. We'd hit the McDonald's the night before. They were so cold, and so greasy, and he ate every single one of them and then asked me if I wanted to get a beer with him because he hadn't had breakfast yet.

 

I don't actually think the dude's gonna do him he's just gonna probably take embarrassing but silly pictures or some shit.
I can tell because we're probably soulmates. Meant to be together forever. my sparkle husbando.
[Eyebrow waggle at Jordi]

Do you want an MCR to go with that Green Day, Miss Way?
[He cackles like he just made the best joke ever.]

 

[He eyes Deadpool up and down. Eh. He's read comics before, probably a 4/10, but fuckable.]

I think you'd have more fun with me on a job than in the bed, but I'm not adverse to both.

 

Hot.
I mean I meet most of the people I hit on while being a hit-man.
[FINGER GUNS. He's got this. He's the smoothest.
(He really really isn't. Should he shoot something? Maybe he should shoot something. That's how you flirt right?)]

 

weaponized macking
revolutionary
im taking notes but i dont think i could bring myself to kiss lord englishes big sweaty veiny muscular skull face
im also pretty sure its sort of incest because hes a quarter hal who was created from my dadbrothers brain clone

lick chalk

 

No dude, the best weaponized macking is the kind where you get all up and personal with an incesty alien monster. That probably happened to me at some point or something.

 

"We can probably do it here if Wrench is willing to agree to it. And I can tell him how fun it is."

"But I'm not most girls. I'm differently socialised," Lissa says. "Some would say badly socialised. I love other women, sometimes even in the biblical sense, but every now and again they stare at me like I'm from another planet, and then I remind them I actually am."

 

-Appears, looks at deadpool, blinks- Holy shit you´re deadpool. You Are actually deadpool right, and not just a cosplayer?
Hey Marcus. -suspicion- you alright there?