shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

EYYY I totally am

got an ex kicked outta his apartment once cause I couldn't shut up. Ehehehe... I mean he broke up with me for it but worth it.

 

Definitely worth it. That's why you invest in soundproofing, instead of being a moron who relies on everyone pretending like they can't hear you.

'Course, the soundproofing's good for other shit. Maurice cried like a bitch for three days and no one ever bothered to knock. Pretty fucking annoying, actually, but it would've been more annoying if I'd had to do with people coming over every thirty minutes, so props to eBay for that one.

 

Bein a fixer sounds like a hard knock life, dude.

 

It's got its downsides. But the money is fantastic, and let's be honest with ourselves for a minute here, killing people is really fucking fun.

 

[Jack grins so wide it would split his face if it could.]

I tend to make really good points. It's a gift.

 

*Nods sagely before taking a sip of his blue drink and offer it to clink. Damn right killing people is fun*

 

*grins* You're a gift.

 

[Clink clink. And then Jordi downs the rest of his drink before leaning over the bar and just pulling out a bottle of whiskey. He's done with glasses, he thinks.]

[He also wolf-whistles while he's at it.]

 

[aw fuckit, karkat is going to give himself a conniption, now is not the time for pda worries. dave climbs into karkat's lap and pap-pap-paps. a couple curtains go up around them when he thinks about it]

shoosh you stupid fuckhead
i am FINE we dealt with the problem
my honor is as untarnished and sparkling as the day it was forged
next time just mute him its fine ok? its fine
i love you babe but some horny dingdong isnt going to hurt my feelings
no need to have a panic attack over this its fine
breathe count to ten whatever it is you gotta do so as not to puke on my killer duds

[the curtains are not soundproof. this is fine.]

 

If ur gonna do that, u an me could go ghost bustin-- by that I mean nut bustin.

*Downs his drink. Defalt does not even care, he's just wanting to enjoy himself*

 

Naah, keeping the dream-dream from being a wet dream remains a constant here. Hit me up in the real world though and I'll consider it.

[He pours whiskey into Defalt's glass.]

[And wolf-whistles again, though this one is less enthusiastic.]

 

Aw... No fun.

*Flops down, makes a straw, and starts drinking while laying on top of the bar.*

 

That's me, Jordi "sucks the fun out of everything" Chin.

 

*Makes a fart noise*

Don't got a body outside here, fukkin weak man. I don't blame u tho, an I doubt you suck the fun out of everything. U sound super fun 2 me

 

I sure as shit am! And so are you, cupcake.

[Jack kisses his cheek, twice in rapid succession.]

 

*blushes*

*attempts a kiss on jack's cheek*

 

[He accepts the kiss, though he doesn't expect it to be particularly fun. While kissing him on the mouth usually serves no issues, anywhere else tends to make people notice his mast more prominently. It's got something to do with the shit it's made out of.]

 

*it feels weird but okay*

*but... jack doesn't look like he's feeling okay*

... Jack, you okay? Did I fuck up?

 

Hmm? Yeah, no, I'm great! Just thinkin' about stupid, unimportant shit. Which doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, considering we're in a hole in time and space.

[He laughs.]

Why, was I making a weird face?

[Jack then proceeds to make a weird face.]

 

Yeah. Well. More like an upset face. Which... doesn't say anything good about my kissing skills, I think...