shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

"Mostly we don't understand why you're doing this entire negotiation out here in public. If you're going to spend this much time angrily defending your relationship, you should really go have one. Go on a date. Have sex. Talk about yourselves. Make out. Have an actual private conversation."

 

... oh. That's actually good advice. It really was dumb of me, not thinking of it, huh?

*church creates an imitation of the bubble shield armor enhancement around himself and gestures at jack, inviting him in*

 

well anything named the conglomerate sounds pretty nasty
fuckin borg or some shit i dunno never watched much of that
anyway yeah you cant be a conglomerate you gotta let your culture meld
and let other cultures like
exist

to be fair coaxing the d out of its crotchways hiding place is a delicate art
you cant just whip it out on the first date its shy
you have to woo the d
whisper sweet nothings to the pubes

 

*norm makes an entrance*

Yours is, maybe. But I can tell you all for sure that mine's not.

 

It's a crutch that's had way too much fucking drink.

[He keeps drinking.]

 

... with what mouth?

 

thanks for letting me know my dude i dunno what i woulda done going a single second longer without this vital information
if you whip it out im leaving for less phallic pastures

 

Smartass.

[Siiiiiiip.]

 

*smirks* It's part of my charm.

 

They call it that where you're from?

 

"Go back in your bubble. Isn't your relationship more important than a dumb joke?"

 

I'm not gonna whip it out! I just thought... that was an inaccurate generalization about dicks you did there, you know...

 

god forbid

[he sounds more amused than anything]

 

Ford laughs out loud, despite an ear-twitch from Lissa and a soft, disgruntled wolf-noise.

"The D," he finally says, "is a beast with a mind of its own to be sure, but its personality is closely linked to that of its companion. Which means that some are rather shy, and others are very sociable and want to meet all of your friends, and some are curious thrill-seekers."

 

*laughs*

Yep. 'Cause, ultimately, no matter how insistent its tug is, thinking with your dick is still a metaphor.

 

Ford shrugs. "I've met people for whom it wasn't much of a metaphor."

Ford scoops up Lissa from the back of the couch, then slides into the space she was in before Missha can execute his next landgrab, although he does not attempt to cuddle Marcus. Even though Marcus is cute. He now has a Lissa in his lap, and he is just sitting really close to Marcus, in case Marcus wants to scritch the pretty kitty's ears with him.

It's probably a little uncanny-valley for anyone watching too closely. Bodies don't really work the way Ford just moved, but Ford is an accomplished astral projector and knows he can think himself to where he wants to be (and Lissa too, provided she doesn't object, which she doesn't).

"There was a reason I said companion rather than owner or master. The power relationship between the D and its companion varies from person to person. Some people need to exercise more control. There are also a very few who could stand to pay more attention to what the D wants, and enjoy their lives more."

 

Heh. Yeah. Me too.

And you're probably right about that.

 

Here, here. I can think of a few people that last one could apply to.

[He raises his glass, then drinks.]

 

Ford's willing to drink to that. That peach bellini looks good, so one appears in his hand as well.

 

*norm's not sure if he's included in that but...*

*he figures there's nothing stopping him from drinking, at least, so a glass appears in his hand and he drinks from it*