shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Look, I just want things to be nice and quiet and peaceful here, yeah? Drink your drink and leave the kid alone.

 

If it was the real version of that bar, you wouldn't get in with an ID at all, but I see your point. Just keep it in mind. Don't make out behind a Starbucks counter either, never ends well.

Believe me, I would love to drink my drink and be left alone. Unfortunately, my bar. Well, I mean, it's getting fixed now-- appreciate that, doll-- but seriously, my bar. I like that bar. Real fancy place, can't get in unless they know you, great spot to network. Broke my heart too.

 

[Unimpressed flat look]

 

[Driiiiiiiiiiiiink.]

 

... Yeah and I don't want to hurt you

----

Also what the fuck is going on, man. Jordi's kind of fucked up and terrifying but he's... *Makes a noise in the back of his throat* He's a weapon, doesn't do things unless he's pointed at someone to my knowledge? I mean shit, he didn't kill me when I nearly fucked up everything for him. He also didn't kill Aiden, which apparently was a big deal.

What I'm saying here is if you see a sleeping tiger you don't piss it off.

 

Aw, sugartits, that's the sweetest thing anyone's said about me. You can point my weapon any day.

 

don't.

 

I mean, I did shoot him in the ass with a tazer... Technically hit his wallet but it still horrifies me to think that he may be immune to the tazer.

 

[He grins.]

Hey, you never know. Don't test the theory though, because I will kill you if you do.

 

Dude, I've been tazed before. I wouldn't even blame you, I'd just lay down and accept death.

 

You're a peach. Want something to drink?

 

"You might want to look it over. Your memories are better than mine. You've actually been to the place." Alex does feel a bit better now though.

 

Nah, thanks though. Not in the mood. *HYPERVIGALANCE STRIKES AGAIN*

 

[Robin gives this Batman an unimpressed look.]

You're not Batman, why're you dressed up like him? And what do you mean, 'wearing similar clothes' to me? Is there another Robin in here?

[Robin crosses his arms indignantly, and completely ignores the new word comment.]

I'm good at technology!

 

Oh, nonono! I never said fangirls. There's a pretty equal ratio of boy/girl/other in my fanclub, I'll have you know.

 

Yeah, I'll do that. You did good though, so there's probably not much I gotta fix.

[He ambles over and fixes a couple little things-- the particular shade of brass on the taps and the position of some of the bottles-- then hooks a leg around one of the stools and plops down.]

Ruining my fun here, kid. More for me!

 

What, everyone does it so it´s ok? he´s not a fucking bodyguard, he´s a killer!

This is not your house. Where I´m from, everyone is mortal.

Don´t insult tigers like that.

-more glaring- I can´t touch you, here but if you show up in my world....

 

Rude. I'm totally Batman. And I dunno if he's here here, but if he's not I'm gonna have to mop up his messes again.
... In hindsight the short shorts maybe weren't the best idea but they're better than Discowing so I'll take it I think.

 

Yeah well, you don't get stupid when you drink.

I mean, fair, but also Jordi's pretty easy to predict once you figure it out.

 

Hey now. I said I contract out, didn't I? I've done bodyguard gigs before. Hell, half the shit I was doing with Pearce was keeping his dumb ass from getting killed. I'm a great bodyguard. Everyone ignores a guy in a suit.

Yeah, no worries about that. I don't want to live someplace with jokers in spandex run around punching people for kicks without due process. At least 'the Vigilante' has a warrant out for him. I mean, not that anyone's trying hard, because Pearce is a decent enough fixer when he's not being a dickhead, but it's not fucking kosher.

I don't get drunk. That's the trick. [He winks.]