shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

*church remains skeptical*

*a former incarnation of him had wrote his thesis on ais and so this incarnation sure as hell knows exactly what an ai is*

*and jack is one*

*no way around it*

*but the hands on his ass stop him from spending much time thinking about it*

Spoiler: mild nsfw?

*he grinds against jack*

 

[He laughs.]

Sounds like you have a wild time, way more fun than me. I mean, the uh, the street theater's fun, but it's not 'stealing a car and tagging it' levels of fun. Mostly it's a lot of 'getting punched in the face for Youtube views' fun.

 

I mean at this point I've done like everything they want me for. They started the fire though, I was a good boy before Daddy Blume decided to fuck me over.

It be like that sometimes

 

[Jack whistles.]

Someone feeling frisky?

 

-he snorts-
Like Alfred doesn't expect worse from me.
-he might be grinning under the helmet and he's within grabbing distance now. He reaches for Dick-

 

*grins*

*teasingly* You're only catching on now?

 

DO I *LOOK* LIKE AN ANT, SHITSPONGE? THE COMPARISON COULD JUST AS EASILY BE MADE TO WASPS OR BEES. HUMAN IS TO APE AS TROLL IS TO HIVE INSECT, GET IT?
SIMILAR. NOT REMOTELY THE SAME.

[karkat does what he always does when he feels intimidated, which is to puff himself up and glare harder]

I'M NOT *ACTUALLY* AN ANT. THE COMPARISON IS JUST, LIKE. MOTHER GRUB, DRONES, YOU KNOW? WE DON'T WORK LIKE YOU GUYS DO. WE'VE EVOLVED PRETTY FUCKING FAR OFF FROM MOST OTHER INSECTS

 

Angeth smiles at him. "I was supposed to be ornamental. I...kind of resented that. I was supposed to be pretty, and I managed that, but I was also supposed to be willing to do whatever my Exec needed to win people over, at least until someone suitable offered a permanent contract or capital to buy my shares. But I can code, which is a Silver thing, and I can fight, which is a Bronze thing. And I can fly like a fucken catte because the whispers tell me where to go. I got myself a catte yacht when I got the hell off Pennarion after poor little Queen Fontaine lost her mind."

 

MARCUS HEY

i should get somebody to film it when i get punched in the face. it happens too often to waste the opportunity for income lmao

 

"Hey Reed," says Alex. "We still have pizza."

 

hellllll yes

[reed takes a slice of meat pizza and says the next sentence while chewing]

kiddo if you keep giving me free food you are gonna win the hell out of my friendship

 

Alex grins at her. "Well good," she says. "Friends are awesome."

 

dude im over here sittin in my fuckin
homestead window
when will johnny boy return from the war and make an honest woman out of me

anyway this is like
kinda like the dreambubbles basically except you can like
do whatever like materialize items out of the ether

 

-Pillage backs off a bit, though his antennae are still twitching with interest-
I see! That's very interesting. 'msorry if I upset you... I don't meet many other insectformers usually...

 

[He goes in for the slow motion martial arts parry of the grab. Playfight: go!]
He'll do the sad disappointed Alfie face! Y'know the one that hurts to just witness and instantly makes you want to reform? That one!

 

-playfight: engage! He goes for obvious moves that are easier to get out of-
Why do you think I've avoided the manor all these years?

 

[Dick puts up the tiniest of resistance but soon enough Jason can easily grab him tightly.]
Aww, y'know the old guy misses you, right? I bet he'd have loved having you over for tea.

 

its not you this is actually pretty standard karkat

 

Reed! Yeah, it's sort of a career option here, though you've got to be real good at arranging where you're fighting. It doesn't look as good if you hit a civvie on accident.

 

Ah! -Pillage nodnods- Beacon is like that sometimes! I get you. -he grins, a little conspiratorially-