shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

I've been to my check up. Bite me, 'con.

This slag's why people avoid the medbay, you kn-

- owowOW! How did that even get in there?

 

You say that like I did the majority of my work in a medbay.

 

Clear you have been avoiding the medbay too much. [long exvent] You think medics like chasing after their patients because everyone feels that they are totally not hurt? We could be much more effective if we didn't have to more or less drag people in by the collar faring while they protest?

 

I DON'T REMEMBER *SHIT* ABOUT BEING A GRUB, DUDE. I'M MAKING AN EDUCATED GUESS, BECAUSE WIGGLERS ARE DISGUSTING AND WILL SHOVE ANYTHING EVEN REMOTELY RESEMBLING FOOD DOWN THEIR GAPING FUCKING MAWS, ESPECIALLY RIGHT AFTER PUPATION

ACTUALLY, IN THAT CASE, YES! I'M SURE IT TASTED LIKE A GOURMET FIVE-STAR MEAL, ASSUMING I *DID* EAT THEM, IF ONLY BECAUSE I NEEDED TO BULK UP WITH SOME NICE AUTOCANNIBALIZATION AFTER CRAWLING OUT OF MY COCOON AND EATING THAT TOO

 

That, too. I am primarily a field medic for one.

 

In that case you don't get to have an opinion on my health state because i only take that slag from medbay personnel.

Pillage is only allowed that kinda talk because he kisses it better afterwards, ya jumped up jumpstarter.

 

-another poke with the free hand- Stop bein' mean the medic's just doin' his job...

-without sympathy- Should feel better now! -continues his brisk massaging-

-approving buzzy noises- That sounds like a good way to start life. I don't remember much after I was forged either. I think they let me free pretty quickly, there's not many uses for insectformers.

 

[Weakly and sullenly]
You're the one bein' mean.

 

It's almost like there are medics who don't stay trapped in one room. [When did Switch get an Autobrand on one shoulder? Who knows, but it's definitely visible when he crosses his arms.] Listen to your damn conjunx if you won't listen to us, he's got his head screwed on right.

 

-leans over a little precariously to kiss his cheek- 'Mnot. You feel better if you stretch. An' shouting at 'cons isn't allowed any more.

 

I mean I could be doing that too though it would be highly unprofessional. [His wings cant up, amused. He's been called considerable worse with considerable more heat, this is just getting a sort of nostalgic 'awwww']

Thank you very much [Wide smile, wings wide and friendly]

 

-polite clickchirr back, bob of the antennae- He's just grumpy 'cos he's sore.

 

Oh for frag's- fine, will you shut up if I do?

[He groans, melodramatically, despite his arms coming up to catch Pillag should he slip.]
Who else'm I supposed to shout at, hm?

[IT'S A CONSPIRACY! AN EVIL DECEPTICON CONSPIRACY!
Beacon's fans make a very interesting and inventive sound as his optics flicker. Flirting from the enemy does not compute. nope.]

 

You know, I think those fans may also require looking at. [Wings are trembling while he's keeping a straight face] I only know one other person who can sound like that.

 

Th' ceiling. -innocent innocent wide optics-

 

Stay back you! With your broad wings and your exotic plating and your loose morals! I don't want your- your fingers in my internals!

[He attempts the rare and refined Hide-Face-In-Boyfriend's-Shoulder-Maneuver. His voice is very very quiet when he whispers]
Make me.

 

-Pillage starts laughing, not particularly loudly or showily but so hard he's shaking and sparking-

-whispered back- Once you've done your stretches.

 

But the stretches are uncomfortable and silly.

 

But if you don't stretch you get sore shoulders and sore doorwings and a sore spinal strut and sore legs-

 

Lissa looks up at Beacon, and in her most innocent I-am-but-an-ignorant-organic voice, says: "I thought you were a proponent of self-care, and that taking care of yourself was an important component of your belief system."