shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

[nope he's not able to keep a straight face through that, breaking into laughter so hard his fans start catching and hiccuping. He's actually gotta sit down for a bit. Oh Primus]
I would also provide tools instead of fingers if you prefer that [He's still giggling and yet he manages to make it sound suggestive. He even manages not to do something as base as a brow waggle]

 

[grumblewhiiiiiiiine]

You're one'a those human-organic Judases is what you are! Betrayal on all sides!

[His fans make another very interesting noise.]
What even- No!! Stop that!

 

Ford grins like a maniac. He called it all right, he knows exactly how that relationship works. From personal experience.

 

"I may be queer for humans," Lissa says, grinning, "but I sure as shit am not actually human. Listen to Pillage like you are supposed to and do what's best for yourself like you tell everyone else to do."

 

Are you sure? Those fans do sound worrying I feel like someone should take a closer look. [They don't, at least not permanently but he finds that winding Beacon up is tremendous fun. His wings are still trembling a bit with amusement and he puts some flirty flutter in good measure. He doesn't know for sure if Beacon understands wingspeak but those sure look like praxian doorwings to him, so chances aren't half bad in his opinion]

 

[He, very maturely, sticks his glossa out at her.]

I've never felt better now get lost!!!
[He sees those wings. He does not appreciate those wings. His optics lingering is purely coincidental.]

 

-Pillage is still giggling helplessly while perched on Beacon's chest bumper-

 

[Does he noticed the look? Well he doesn't say anything, but his wings spread and cant a tiny fraction. You could think it's accidental, but it highlights the fine grain of the wooden plating and the shimmer of the inlays just right]

 

"Pretty," Lissa says. "If I were a mech I'm sure my feelings would be more than simply aesthetic."

 

Thank you, that is quite flattering. [He flares his wings a little more before folding them back into neutral position] I am sure you would make a lovely femme too. [The ears remind him of Kation and Sawbones and honestly, they're just cute]

 

Lissa giggles. "Thanks!"

 

[His fans sputter once more. Have mercy with the poor guy he looks like he might be overheating from being exasperatedly, furiously, and confusingly embarrassed.]

[He sullenly mutters something sounding a lot like 'well what did I expect from someone who wears so much purple']

 

-Pillage shifts over to pet his helm, nuzzling into his cheek and chirring to him-

 

[Beacon all but attempts to hide in the nuzzles, whining pitifully.]

 

Lissa's ears twitch in his direction so she can make out what he's saying, and then she shrugs. "Purple is a sexy colour among my people, it's the colour our blood is." Among other things, but she's sure he can figure the rest of it out for himself and be shocked at the vulgarity of plain old biology. "Although honestly, I probably would have been a Decepticon. I don't like the functionalism thing. I know both sides were guilty of awful things, that always happens in wars, but I was designed to be one thing, repurposed for another, and it wasn't till I was full-grown and already messed up from doing all sorts of things I would never have chosen myself that I got any choices."

 

[Awwww. He decides to lay it off, though there is only one purple bit on him, most of him is ivory and brazilwood red] If you think this is a lot of purple you should see Captain Nichrome.

 

-Pillage chirrups softly and grooms Beacon's helm, nibbling lightly and petting with all four hands-

 

Look, the beginnings of the whole philosphy seemed sound and all, but being sympathetic is kind of hard when they bomb entire cities and push the entire planet into fragging environmental devastation. They killed my home as thoroughly as they could manage, I wasn't gonna take up with 'em after that. And I've never met a single one of them who had even an ounce of regret about that either.

I'd rather not.

[Beacon leans into the pets and the grooming, slowly calming down a little.]

 

"That's perfectly understandable," says Lissa gently. "I just think that in four billion years of war, probably lots of people's homes got completely destroyed, and that it wasn't all Decepticons doing it. That's an awful lot of war. The planet I currently live on is only a little older than that."

 

[Dryly:] Well, if you're an organic, it mostly was. The Autobot enforcers tended to stick to killing their own kind en masse.