shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

everything i say is uncomfortably evocative
my wordsmithing is equal parts erotic and unsettling
like for example
a clown with a huge purple boner

anyway i miiiight get temporal physics but most of my getting it is like
an innate thing?
like i cant explain time super great to someone else but i get it
so just not fucking something up is most of the direction i need whereas someone else would probably assfuck the concept of stable loops without help

 

-he takes a deep breath-
Think you're fooling yourself there. Not a nice man anywhere. But I can bring myself to hold off the murder if it means I get to eat Alfred's cooking again.

The concept that I only know one other person here and have a whole list of reasons not to trust strangers isn't that hard, either. I'll play nice, but I'm not gonna trust everything you say.

 

"Again, understandable," says Ford, "but these clowns are part of the Fish Hitler problem, not the Joker problem that you're more familiar with."

"I've got a plan involving the dimensional portal she wants me to build not actually being one," Ford says with a sigh. "But it is likely to unbind my most obnoxious ex if I'm not careful, and my primary concern is not getting myself blown up along with her, not keeping an eye--heh!--on William. Then again, Will's a problem that I'm better equipped to deal with than a space fleet, given that I've done it twice before and I don't need an entire military-industrial complex to cooperate with me to deal with it any other way. But Geth, if you can make it, that would help us a lot with the cleanup."

 

THE FUCKING *WHAT?*

I WENT BETWEEN UNIVERSES ON A BIG, EMPTY ROCK. TOOK FOREVER, BUT I'M PRETTY SURE THE ONLY THING THAT FUCKED UP MY SANITY WAS SPENDING THREE YEARS IN CLOSE QUARTERS WITH SIX OTHER ADOLESCENTS, MOST OF WHICH MIGHT KILL EACH OTHER AT A MOMENT'S NOTICE

AND THE MAYOR. BUT THE MAYOR IS THE BEST, FOREVER, AND HIS COMPANY IS A DELIGHT

 

I am... A crime fighting vigilante. Batman.

I'd appreciate that. I can eat his food by the truckload, not sure how you survive without it.
[Gentle squeeze of the shoulder. It's okay. He's here. He'll have Jason's back.]

[He stiffens almost imperceptibly before turning just a little to look over his shoulder.]
In my experience all clows eventually become my problem.

 

word
god i love the mayor

[they fistbump]

 

-he laughs a little, almost startled-
Thanks for that. Not gonna let him forget that one anytime soon.

-leans into Dick a little-
That's how you've been putting the muscle on, huh? His cooking?

 

I tried that and just got labled with anger issues.

 

"The...things in the outer dark between dimensions," Angeth says, and sighs. "I can get them to tell me where to go in my own dimension. But that isn't all they show me. They say they can open the way for me between dimensions. I let them do it once." She swallows. "It was safer than Ford's plan that time, and preferable to letting Ford and Lissa die. But I did turn black and leave trails of dark matter for a week, and I was also prone to speaking in a language that didn't make sense to anyone else. I'll do it again if I have to. But I think there might be a limit to how many times I can pull that stunt."

 

Do you hit people with bats or are you a furry?

 

Not like they're mutually exclusive. We got a lot of people in the network with anger issues - you'd be carrying on a grand old tradition.

 

Rude, bro. And yeah, duh. That and playing catcher for the kid. That's what you do as a dad, right?

Oh, you and Red Hood will get along alright. Don't let him teach you his murderous ways.

[He snortlaughs.]
If I'm a furry it's not a bat furry.

 

"Try it when you're taller, maybe. People are badly inclined to label us when we're smaller. They thought I was going to be decorative, and sociable, when I was your size. They trained me to be tafaeda, an adornment for an Executive, with the hope I'd be a trophy for a Chief, some day."

 

-She looks him up and down.-

The lack of a mouth-hole doesn't help the gimp look, but a mouth hole would also be pretty disturbing.

 

So the hitting people with baseball bats thing, got it.

-She grins at him.-

 

Apparently Wrench has to go somewhere else...so now that her cuddle is over, Lissa turns round to see somebody else she is fond of. "Clover!"

 

-Clover lazily raises a hand in greeting.-

H'lo, Lissa, we're discussing the ethical implications of armed assault on the criminal underclass.

 

-he snorts-
Like I'd know. Kid seems to be doing okay, though.

-dryly-
No mouth hole means I'm not vulnerable to inhalants. I'll take looking like I escaped from a kink club if I can't get dosed with fear gas.

 

Is there a gas mask under that, then?

-She suddenly looks actually interested instead of just snarky.-

 

"Not sure where I fit in that paradigm," Lissa chirps. "I think we're a criminal family, but the government didn't give us much choice about that...and we're probably not in the underclass? I'd hug you if you wanted it, but I probably smell like I'm halfway to going in season, even though that isn't true, and I don't think you like hugs much, do you?"