shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Haha people don't give a shit about my feelings.

 

Wow, you're just so goddamn nihilistic. Want a gun?

[Jordi doesn't wait for an answer. He hands her a gun anyways.]

 

You know, I'd blame you as to why I stay in cat shape so often but really I do it because it's fun. *Just standing there in a robe. A silk robe. A white silk robe. A white silk robe with JC monogrammed on it. Why, yes, he reflexively pulled up one of Jordi's robes back when he got himself something to wear.*

 

Uh huh. Wasn't expecting to see you around here, only version I've run into was clearly not up to par. Got wasted and told me I was intimidatingly attractive though, that was nice. Fun, too. I've got so much shit on you now. Less, maybe, than I wanted, and I never got his dick pics, but enough.

[He takes a slow, lazy sip of his whiskey. Then grins.]

 

Spoiler: Suicide imagery

-She points it at her head and pulls the trigger, but all that comes out is a little cartoon BANG that bounces around the rave like a rubber ball.-

I mean, you're the guy giving 14 year olds guns and bragging about how broken you are.

 

Bragging? Kiddo, I'm not broken. I'm basically perfect.

[He grins.] Not my fault no one taught you proper trigger control.

 

You're annoying. We have something in common!

 

I don't think I can technically get mad at you for cheating on me with me?? So? *Shrugs*

I mean, you are. You are attractive and also intimidating.

Don't pick on kids, not a look that looks good on anyone

 

You know it, doll. Unlike you, I've monetized it.

Sweetcheeks, you say the darnedest things. But no, seriously, I wasn't expecting you in here, how the fuck did that happen.

Well, it's not like I can shoot her in here. Anyone explain the rules to you?

 

Yeah, but I don't need to.

 

Fuck, I don't know, I think I remember something like crashing out on your chest because while you were watching Grey's Anatomy a super good sunbeam ended up right there and then I woke up in here.

You aren't supposed to shoot kids in real life either. No, no they haven't but mostly because I've been Cat for a good majority of the time.

 

-She glares.-

I'm not being picked on. Stay out of it!

 

"You're back! That was fast." Lissa walks back over to him, grinning. "Miss me?"

"You think I was ticked at you when you were fucking with Marcus? I heart both those guys, and you'd know what I'm like when I'm actually mad if you did serious harm to either of them, Jordi."

"I do---!!! You gave a shit about mine when I needed it!"

 

Lissa, please. I'm trying to be a dumbass teenager.

 

"...how do you know the Talassani name that Lissa gave me, and why are you saying it like you're Pennarine? Are there still humans on Pennarion, after all the bombings? I didn't even think there were a lot of cattes left there now."

 

Bougie scum. Profiting off the labor of the workingman, I see.

Aww, that' s cute. I was wondering why you were doing kickyfeets. What do you want for dinner? I figure we'll both wake up when you shift and slam facefirst into the floor.

And yet, they keep getting in the way of my bullets. Weird how that happens. Anyways, you can't hurt people in here unless they want it, so if you're not dealing with someone overtly suicidal, so not worth it. And if you can dream it, you can make it happen. Hence, the bar.

[He makes a grand gesture to the bar, then grins and downs the rest of his whiskey.]

Sure, whatever. You know you couldn't like... stop me in the real world, right? I mean, that's assuming anyone gives a shit about Playtime Anarchy enough to pay me for it, but, uh, I'm way closer to them than you are.

 

Yeah?
;_;

I didn't think I'd left for that long... Damn, was I out of her for a while?
?_?

 

So're you, unless you're working on the cheap.

 

Wait no-

I mean, so are your clients.

 

"...what?" Ford blinks. "No, no. There are twelve essential aspects, like the old alchemical elements, sort of. People around here call you a 'Time player' if you express the aspect of Time. And generally, people can't tell you exactly where their timeline broke off from an older one unless they are aspecting Time."