shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Lissa will pet him. She's keeping a weather eye on the guy in the hood and her niece, but she knows that they probably can't hurt each other and Alex is backing down. "We have a fuzzy Marcus again, Wrench," she says gently. "Just letting you know. I won't turn back into a cat myself."

 

-he takes up a defensive posture behind Dick. Looming muscle and backing up Batman - at least this Batman - he can do.-
Clearly not enough, if you're throwing information like that around. I guess this probably isn't a trap - don't know anyone that'd know that kind of intel but be that stupid about opening their trap.

 

*Rolls completely onto his back and purrs, kneading at the air. Yes. Pet him.*

 

What he said.
... A universe where my life is a movie isn't the weirdest thing out there at least.
There are reasons for the masks, kid. When you're a masked vigilante they can hurt you. But if the masks come off and they know who you are, they'll hurt the people you actually care about and there is nowhere you can hide anymore. So take this seriously. Because it's only a joke in select few, very twisted individuals' opinion.
[If he wasn't making a point right now he'd look back to Jason because hah, he knew it. Jason would make an awesome catcher.]

 

"Oh, I didn't mean me personally. I have no idea what your masked vigilante identity even is. Everyone recognises Batman though. He's on lunchboxes." Alex sighs. "But there's this convention in San Diego in my world, where you might want to look around for some information. Mason goes to that sometimes. They have endless debates over different yous in different universes. Just...don't go dressed like that, or you'll get mobbed by fanboys. Put on a geeky t-shirt, some shorts or jeans and some regular shoes and blend in."

"I understand, I do. In your world. But I do think you should know that there are places where some people--clearly not me--know practically everything about you guys. And argue about it over the internet." Alex sighs. She resists the temptation to say, I said I was sorry, because she hates how embarrassing being wrong is, but being snarky about it doesn't help. "It's a life-or-death problem in your world, I get it. I am sorry. I just don't know what you should do about the fact that there are worlds you're not even in where people know all of those names."

 

Lissa pets the kitty.

 

.... Never go there presumably because if they know so much they know about my Robin and will definitely not come to us.
[The winning grin he manages is... at least two thirds fake but it's not like most people can tell. Oh no, he's a showman through and through after all.]

 

-he shifts stance just slightly, enough so his arm briefly touches Dick's-
Just because I think you'd be an incompetent villain doesn't mean I have a reason to trust you. I'll pass.

 

"She's telling the truth, and also, she'd make a terrible villain." Mason shrugs. "But suit yourself." He sighs. "She might make a worse villain than Jessie."

 

"Nobody would be worse at being a villain than Jessie." Gwendolyn rolls her eyes.

 

[The brief touch is most appreciated. They do know eachother almost too well.]

No such thing as a good villain in our books, kid. Clever ones, sure, but not good.

 

-He stands up in Backup Muscle pose again. He'll let Dick talk this one out; he's said his piece and there's no way he's trusting these bougie kids that all know each other without independent verification. Dick was the one threatened, so he gets to decide how to handle it.-

 

"I meant that she wouldn't be good at being a villain." Mason sighs. "I was agreeing with you."

 

Ford groans quietly. Lissa doesn't seem to be smelling immediate danger. They're probably just trying to put the fear of G-d into Alex, and he's not opposed to that. But.

"Gentlemen, she's a kid and she made a stupid mistake, and I will talk to her further about it at home. Is there anything else you need from her, or from me? She apologised. She's not going to do it again. I do think she meant well in informing you that your secrets and histories are openly discussed in our dimension, where it is thought that you are fictional. But I certainly don't expect you to trust us."

 

if were gonna have a fight i will get out the whacking stick
the whacking stick is a sword
it is a welsh piece of shit and i know how to use it

 

Lotta kids asking for bullets here. No other cure for stupid, right?

[He takes a bite of a pear he'd brought with him. Delicious.]

Why are we harassing knock-off Batman again?

 

"It's okay, Dave, I don't think that'll be necessary." Ford sighs. "But thank you for your offer of support. I can handle this."

Alex is guilty of not thinking about the reality of the world these men came from, but they've been reacting since they came in as though Ford's world and Karkat's world were the same as theirs and that their intervention there (against the persons they considered problems) would be acceptable and tolerated, but they haven't once offered to help with anything the inhabitants of their worlds actually seem to consider a problem. He understands that she was ignorant and he understands why she was annoyed, but what she did was not okay, and he will tell her so.

On the other hand he would like very much for this to be over.

Ford understands paranoia rather well. Ford understands that paranoia does not mean people are not actually gunning for you in a big way, also quite well. And it's okay if they want to make it clear to Alex exactly how very upset they are, but Mason didn't do anything to them; he actually smacked Alex and told her to stop fucking up.

These kids are legally adults, but they've been sheltered, and that's his fault and Stan's fault, for not wanting them to go through any of the things that they or their actual parents went through. So he'll take responsibility and they can yell at him.

"There are other cures, although a non-fatal bullet surely does teach you a few things," says Ford. "Hello, Jordi."

 

*more purrs*

*notices Jordi* prrt! Prrow! *hops up and trots down the bar top to him, arching and flirting* mrrreh! *Happy trills*

 

"Your boyfriend's here, Jordi."

 

Well, mostly it teaches you not to get hit by bullets. I prefer it when people run towards the bullets, much easier that way.

Yeah, noticed that. Soft, isn't he?

[He gives Marcus the fabled chin scritches, then starts petting him full on. Yisssss. Boyfriend: get.]