shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

*loud purring, stretching before flopping. Mothafukkin pettins, hell yeah. Flips and wraps paws around Jordi's wrist before starting to groom his hand*

 

"He's very soft," says Lissa admiringly. "But we did train the children not to run into a rain of bullets. Really."

 

[He stretches his fingers out and wiggles them a little. He's Been Blessed.]

Well damn, ruining all my fun. But seriously, are they yours? I didn't realize they were yours. Smaller ears.

Lush, by the way. For his fur. Works fucking wonders.

 

*Fingers wiggling... his pupils go wide and even while grooming he is kicking at Jordi's arm. KILL KILL KILL love love love*

 

[Jordi has literally never lived anyone like he loves This Cat Man in this moment. It's one whole half of an emotion. He wiggles his fingers again.]

 

it was less support and more if i see people getting their dukes or batarangs or whatever out i will do a quadruple flip off the handle and stick the landing in a hot griddle of shit promptly as that is also flipped

but if yallrent gonna get jiggy with the fight montage then ill just
not do that
awesome

 

*Gently bites and wraps his whole little body around Jordi's arm. Feet kickins continues! Shifts his head position to grab the end of Jordi's sleeve and bites it, shaking and tugging at cloth with little huffs filled with purrs. He is going to lovingly kill this arm.*

 

You're so filled with murder. It's a great look on you.

[He finishes the pear in his other hand while wigglinn his trapped arm a little.]

 

*louder purrs again! More kicking before he stops and headbutts Jordi's hand.*

Prrrt! *facerubs before suddenly attacking the arm again. He is doing zero damage but he is having a good time. *

 

[Jordi gets in one good scritch before being assaulted again. He grins.]

Yeah, thought so.

 

*finally stills and let's go, rolling before popping back into his human form. This time he has clothes on.*

Alright dunno what got into me but that was fun. Hi.

 

You killed my hand, you monster. Snapped its neck clean off.

[He grins, then tugs Marcus closer and pours them both drinks.] No robe?

 

I learned it from you, so there.

Nah, I figured out the clothing thing and I'm kinda proud

 

"I didn't give birth to them," says Lissa. "I'm their great-aunt. Their parents are dead. I only was able to have one. Her ears look like mine. Gwendolyn's mother is a very good friend of mine and her father is one of Stanford's lovers, but not one of mine. So she practically grew up in my house as well." She sighs. "Lush would probably also be nice on my hair but that store's an assault on my senses. I might ask Alex next time she goes in."

 

A SWORD IS JUST GONNA MAKE IT WORSE, DUNDERFUCK. LET'S GET JIGGY WITH CHILLING OUT AND NOT MENACING PEOPLE WITH WEAPONS, OK?

I MEAN, PRESUMABLY YOU'RE PRETTY CHILL RIGHT NOW? YOU SEEM PRETTY CHILL. MAYBE NOT POLAR ICECAPS BUT DEFINITELY LIKE...THERMAL HULL. ANYWAY, CHRIST, JUST. I WILL *PERSONALLY* MAKE SURE YOU DON'T HAVE TO FIGHT WITH THAT GODAWFUL SPECIBUS AGAIN, AT LEAST IN HERE

 

[Hearing dave mentioning swords and seein his red hair just makes him imagine an unholy fusion of Jason and Damian. God. He would ask what he did to deserve that but the list is probably long]
No, I'm not in the habit of beating people within an inch of their lives. I have Robin for that. And he isn't here right now. Aren't you lucky.

 

Well look at you, clever dick. [He grins.]

Not that I can complain, really, the skinny jeans work for me too. All your hipster-- that's the right one, right?-- your hipster clothes are at least tolerable.

One of those weird extended family things, gotcha. They've got an online store too but the one in our mall isn't so bad. Been in some where you can smell 'em from across the fucking causeway, which is some goddamn bullshit.

 

Hey, that's hurtful. I'm not a hipster, man, I just like how skinny jeans look and feel. *Huffs and sulks a little, though he's glad he's got his glasses this time* Like, I don't get the whole 'call Marcus a hipster' thing mostly because I don't go pretend to write novels in coffee shops.

At least I don't say shit like 'I like this actor, you might not have ever heard of him before, Jimmy Siska'. Nah, fuck that. I ain't white enough to be hipster.

 

You've got the glasses, the skinny jeans, and you watch fucking anime, that's basically what a hipster is right? Sans irony or whatever. Maybe that's just millennials.

[He contemplates that, then refills his glass.]

 

Hey, fuck you. *Huffs and grabs the hand he'd been murdering before.* I am a millennial, you ass. I should have kept beating your arm up, take you down by inches. Jordi Chin, bested by a cat.