shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

..OK. YEAH, OK, SURE. THIS IS ABSURDLY FUCKED UP. BUT I GUESS I'M PROBABLY MORE FUCKED UP FOR GOING ALONG WITH IT

Spoiler: kind of a fucked up request?

I WANT IT TO HURT. IF YOU CAN.

 

Hell's a larp?

 

Live action roleplay. Buncha people in costumes running around in the woods, playing pretend. Not my bag, but I can respect a guy in full chain-mail hefting a fucking sword around for funsies-- that's a man with balls right there.

 

"Is that like FCLORP? But no, her dress is too good for an FCLORP. They make that shit outta foam and cardboard." Lissa rolls her eyes. "Everyone fucking freaked even though I blunted the edges on all the weapons when I helped the kids make costumes."

 

*Louder purrs, hell motherfukin yes. Chin scritches. Leaaans into it before flopping backward and stretching. He has now been Worshiped by the one in Red and thus all is good. Now he's going to flip and then start jetting around at full cat speed. He goes. He GOES.*

 

That sounds like a really shitty brand of ice cream.

[He makes himself a drink and thinks.] A really shitty brand of ice cream.

 

-she gives him a look that... isn't exactly pitying. Platonic pity is not an emotion she has ever really been capable of. It's also a little too knowing to be pitying. She looks to Dave to give him a chance to nope out on grounds of Karkat's request-

 

-genuine confusion- Where do they find the time? Is it an upper-class thing or?

 

Ye olde days of consumption, got it. Yeah, buncha labor laws got passed at... some point, whenever, doesn't matter much to me, but long and short of it is the working class suddenly had opportunities and shit and the middle class happened. Or whatever. I don't really care enough to double-check any of that. But most people get a couple days off work a month to go do whatever their gay little hearts dream of, and for some of them, it's LARP.

 

"By the way," Ford says, "you--or I think it was Marcus--mentioned D&D. I like DD&MD a bit better, and I'm partial to Arduin Grimoire too, but I do play D&D. And so does Lissa, and all of the kids."

 

[hmmm. HRMMMMMRMMMMMM]

we
are going to talk about this later
but yeah no my request is uh
the opposite of that
for me

 

The hell is DD&MD? Some kind of homebrew shit?

 

"No," says Ford, "it's kind of unique to my dimensional sheaf and the neighbouring ones I suppose. The setup is really complicated, to be fair, but once you're in it, the rules allow for you to literally make things up as you go along, with the die rolls determining success or failure, of course. Alex invents the most hilarious spells, usually involving food or ridiculous footwear. Mason is fiendish at designing a dungeon though, he beat me once when he was twelve."

 

So like... FATE? I mean sure, whatever floats your boat. Might be interested in a rulebook if you've got one on hand, but I'm picky about my tabletops.

 

*Someone has been zooming around and now he has found his prey. The prey being Jordi's Leg, which he slams his little cat body into and wraps paws around. Claws happen, because he is very hyped, along with a little bit of kicking and him biting the pant leg to shake it. KILL.*

 

[Without looking down, Jordi jiggles his leg just enough to mimic prey fighting back. He's not that concerned about claws, though he does glance down when one of them manages to slip through the weave.] Hey.

 

I take it by 'middle class' you mean something other than 'new money rich'. Interesting.

 

"This is the place that it is, so here." Ford hands him a rulebook. "It's my favourite, but it's not the only thing I'll play by a long shot. Also, here's Arduin Grimoire. You can use it as a supplement to D&D or as its own game, but it was originally designed to work with D&D rule mechanics and I think it plays better that way." This is a pile of small rulebooks, bound in parchment. "I used to be friends with the guy who wrote these. He had serious problems with women though, and I may have told him I'd blow his dick clean off if he ever tried to date any of my friends. Which pissed him off because he used to say I got more ass than a toilet seat, and I tried to tell him that regarding women as people had something to do with that."

 

Yeah, more like... I dunno, clerks or whatever. Money enough for leisure but not so much that you're looking at really leaving a chunk of change for your kids. Shit gets real interesting after the World Wars.

 

Lissa has a feather on a string now. "Hey there, keep your claws in your paws when you're playing with people." She's grinning. She used to say this to her daughter kind of a lot.