shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

You didn't say how many, I just noted the plural which meant "more than one." So between two and "fuck it, we've stopped counting".

Police action I'm familiar with. We're calling it something different, of course. "Suppression of the revolt." -she sounds supremely unimpressed-

-without a trace of inflection or expression showing what she thinks- What, committing it?

 

Obviously. That's what humans do, right?

 

[So many pets and lovins. Jordi's so proud. Marcus killed it so good.]

Yeah, you're a fucking monster. Absolute demon. Thief of lives right here.

Yeah, that too. Or, uh, supporting democracy when that means 'ousting the democratically elected leader we don't like in favor of the guy we do like' because we hate commies or whatever. Like I said, it's all nonsense, but great paying jobs for independent contractors when it comes to select individuals.

I'm gonna enjoy the hell out of every non-human coming out of the woodwork in here to tell you about their respective genocides.

 

Ford shrugs. "As a member of one of the groups they were trying to exterminate, I must say I do exist because some of us object to it."

 

-congrats Jordi and cat!Marcus, you now have a black leopard ~2 feet high investigating you. Sniff sniff-

 

Wow that wasn't even a whole minute.

 

Lissa shrugs. "I escaped from a cult that fully intends to destroy the multiverse," she says, and grins wryly at Jordi.

 

*Starts purring, drops the feather and arches up into the hand. Yesssss*

... *stares, reaches out tentatively and touches on nose a few times before grabbing leopard face in his paws and leaning in / pulling the face closer so he can sniff. THE HELL DID YOU GET THIS BIG?*

 

-the bitterest of laughter-

 

[He eyes it warily. Wrestling a big cat is so not something he wants to do, because he's pretty sure he'll lose.]

Welcome to hell, kiddo. Or purgatory. Whichever floats your boat.

[Many scratches, even after Marcus moves to Snif The Leopard. If that thing goes to take a bite, he will wrestle it.]

 

-LICKS. Gently, not 'stripping flesh from bone' like she totally can. Also that sawing noise is suspiciously like a laugh-

 

[Vector waves. He appears to have dropped trying to mentor Batman in favor of... knitting?]

 

[He relaxes a little. But only a little.]

[Jordi gives him a lazy salute.]

 

*Loud purring then--*

*Little frustrated 'Mreh' How could you, he just got his fur going the right way. You monster. With his sniffs done he's laying down again, reaching a paw out to pap. Stop being big. It's cheating. Cheater.*

 

"Oh, I'm human enough," says Ford, "but my not-so-coy mistress is not." He gives Lissa's ears a skritch. "Moira! Do you still want to punch me?"

 

[soul!karkat presses his hand over where his bloodpusher is. was. he blinks, and looks...relieved? the defensive set of his shoulders is greatly lessened. corpse!karkat is a corpse.]

*FUCK*
...THANKS? IS THAT WHAT YOU SAY?

CAN YOU EVEN HEAR ME? I GUESS THAT'S A FUN QUESTION, I MEAN, PRESUMABLY YOU CAN SINCE WE'RE IN YOUR FISHY REALM, AND GHOSTS HAVE SHOWED UP HERE (OUTSIDE ALL THIS I MEAN) BEFORE, BUT THEY DIDN'T *DIE* HERE

HEH. FUCK. IT TOOK A DEATH GODDESS FROM ANOTHER UNIVERSE TO FINALLY OFF MY USELESS ASS AND IT'S TEMPORARY, BUT THERE! IT'S DONE! AND IT WASN'T ON THE END OF A CULLING FORK. HA!!!

[karkat starts to investigate the table, sniffing at the various dishes. it's either that or flip his shit]

 

-with the pap poof! Big cat is slightly big woman. Tall. Naked. Some serious Godiva hair going. Poof! Is cat again. Also saw-laughing again-

 

*Stares. HEY. THAT'S EXTRA CHEATING! With an audible and physical pop he's in his human shape laying across Jordi's lap precariously.* Hey, no fair. You're fucking cool!

*He is wearing clothes, though that's only because the rave lets him.*

 

[dave almost puts his feet on the table, thinks better of it, and puts them in karkat's lap instead. he closes his eyes and tilts back his head]

just relax man
the whole point is that youre done
you dont have to go ninety miles an hour right now sleuthin it out dude
thats like
kind of the main feature of being dead
we are doneeee

 

Nah. That was on offer if it'd make my Ford feel better, and it was mostly knowing the offer would help. Didn't think he'd take it.