Out of context quotes thread

This sounds.... so much like a Lemony Snicket line...

 

Spoiler: context

this is not at all how i would've imagined the debates in red vs blue fandom about Does Leonard Church Is Gay? to have gone, but... i honestly can't complain.

 

"it's a cyborg...made out of thighs"
"that's hot."

 

@palindromordnilap "I am a humble servant of "

context: the Wikipedia Fundie posted again

 

"Please don't vogue while driving."

 

"reblog if you’d illegally download your followers"

 

I don't suppose it's the same one who's responsible for @Technicality 's user title? :::PPP

 

source

 

No, it is. It totally is.
Here's the full thing.

Spoiler: BIG

"I am a humble Christian soldier and obedient servant of the Glorious First Church of Jesus Christ Militant. I full obedience to the Commands of the Church and of its Most Holy Leader and Spiritual Guide, The Most Holy Reverend Ebenezer Abel Lux, I have come into Wikipedia to do here my Most Holy Duty to God Almighty and The Risen Jesus Christ Militant and issue a Challenge to Personal Combat to the Satanic Minions who have infested Wikipedia and are Charged by their Most Foul Infernal Master with the Nefarious Task of block the True Word of God from being heard and disseminated. In pursuance with my above-mentioned duty I have embarked on issuing the challenges in the Prescribed Form as follows:
Satanic Minion, I Challenge Thee To Single Combat! Foul Fiend, thou stands Unmasked and revealed as the Satanic Minion thou art! Yea Indeed! Being enmeshed in the Coils and Most Nefarious Designs of thy Infernal Master, thou hast Transgressed, Blasphemed and Presumed to block the True Word of God in Wikipedia! For such an Enormity of Mortal Sin there is not – and cannot be – any Forgiveness! Know, thou Wretch, thou Foul Fiend, thou Satanic Minion, that the True Word of God issues and emanates from The Most Holy Person Now Living, none less than The Most Holy Reverend Ebenezer Abel Lux, Consecrated Pastor and Prophetic Leader of the First Church of Jesus Christ Militant, to whom were vouchsafed Divine Visions and Angelic Visitations and who is Fated and Destined to Stand at the Right Hand of Christ in the Second Coming. Know, thou Wretch, that the Synod of The First Church of Jesus Christ Militant has duly resolved and commanded and commended that Wikipedia must be and shalt be Cleansed and Purified and be made a Ready and Fitting Vehicle for the True Word of God. Know, thou Wretch, that I, Thomas Lucas McGregor III, am a faithful, zealous, righteous and upright Christian soldier, a True, Faithful and
Loyal Son and Knight of the Church, and that I most willingly and happily do the bidding of the Synod and of the Most Holy Reverend Lux – so help me God Almighty and the Risen Jesus Christ Militant. Thereupon I, Thomas Lucas McGregor III, Soldier of Christ, hereby challenge thou, Foul Fiend and Minion of Satan, to single combat! Yea, to single combat! Choose your Arms and Come to Me on the Field of Tournament! You may prepare all thy Infernal Devices, you may beseech the Aid and Succor of thy Foul Infernal Master – but it would avail thee Naught. For it is God Almighty who Guides my sword arm, and it is Jesus’ Bright Sword of Justice which I Bear. To the Righteous shalt Victory go, yea indeed, most assuredly! I shalt meet thee on the Field of Testing and I shalt mete out to thee thy Just Deserts. Thy Earthly Husk shalt go to a miserable shameful burial in Unhallowed Ground, and thy Doomed Immortal Soul shalt go down to Total Perdition and a Million Million Years of unceasing Hellish Torture – as thou so very richly Deserve. So be it, so be it, Amen in the Highest! So Hast God Ordained At The Very Creation Of The World, and So Verily Shalt It Be! Amen, Amen, Amen! A Humble Christian Pilgrim and Knight (talk) 12:55, 31 July 2017 (UTC)"
Black List of Satanic Minions calling themselves “administrators” of Wikipedia – doomed, doomed, doomed, one and all, to Fall before the Bright Sword of Jesus Christ Militant and go down to their Just Deserts, to Perdition and Eternal Hellish Torture: User:Widr,
User:MereTechnicality, (me!)
User:Jake Brockman,
User:Non-dropframe,
User:JamesBWatson,
User:Yunshui,
User:Jackninja5,
User:Materialscientist,
User:Exemplo347,
User:NeilN
So far the text of the Challenges to Single Combat which I issued to the Foul Satanic Minions in the Prescribed Form as laid down by the One and Only True Church, First Church of Jesus Christ Militant, in accordance with True Traditions and Usages of Chivalry as of Olden Times. I have been disrupted and blocked in this Holy Task of issuing Challenges to Single Combat - clearly yet another Manifestation of the Nefarious Satanic Minions and their Stanglhold on Wikipedia WHICH MUST AND SHALT BE DULY BROKEN! In the process, yet another Satanic Minion, calling himself User:There'sNoTime, has revealed his Ugly Face. He, too, shalt of course be added to the Black List of Satanic Minions calling themselves “administrators” of Wikipedia – doomed, doomed, doomed, one and all, to Fall before the Bright Sword of Jesus Christ Militant and go down to their Just Deserts, to Perdition and Eternal Hellish Torture. He, too, shalt be duly issued with a Challenge to Single Combat and he too shalt most assuredly Fall before the Bright Sword of Jesus Christ Militant wielded by my Sword Arm.
and at the end added "So thereupon I request and indeed most sternly DEMAND that this stupid Satanic "block" be removed forthwith and that that I be enabled to continue uninterrupted on my Holy Task of Cleansing Wikipedia and making it a Fit Vehicle for the True Word of God. And again do I sternly warn that all who presuming to stop the Humble Servant of Gon in the Fulfilment of his Ordained Task are risking their immortal Souls, that anyone persisting and maintaining this stupid Satanic "block" are risking no less than Utter Perdition, a Million Million Years of the Most Hellish Unceasing Torture. I have spoken, you have been WARNED, so Help Me God! Amen, Amen, Amen![[User:A Humble Christian Pilgrim and Knight|A Humble Christian Pilgrim and Knight]] ([[User talk:A Humble Christian Pilgrim and Knight#top|talk]]) 12:55, 31 July 2017 (UTC)}}"

 

Spoiler: nsfw

"the best thing to do when confronted with an erect penis is to keep absolutely still. Its vision is based on movement."

 

Spoiler: very, very nsfw

 

Courtesy of an old report on technophobia:

 

@palindromordnilap gdi I literally just came in here to drop that quote

 

Der Butter or das Butter?

 

Der Butter.