shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Garden variety internet douchebaggery? [Little scritches behind Marcus's ears. Jordi's still pretty happy about where he is.]

Yeah, it's not bad. Used to do jobs in Dot ConneXion, best nights were when he was on board. Bunch of the other guys got too hard into that dubstep shit, and I swear to god I've heard speedcore in there before. Fucking cretins. Fucky artsy bullshit, too.

[He snorts.] You know what? I'm glad Pearce took DeMarco out and shut the place down. It was a goddamn eyesore.

 

Thought my little adventure in the afterlife would have taught you that Lazarus Pits aren't a good solution to just about any problem. Think I'm gonna have to take everyone else's side - you deserved that one, bro.

Yeah, well, been there, done that, got the t-shirt. Why do you think I got trust issues?
-his helmet gives the impression of a nasty grin-

 

"Aye. I take it you aren't --," Nivalorrha turns around to the Talassani who addressed her, and then stops when she recognizes (?) the person in question. "Holy shit, you look like a twenty years old bar-hopper Valiska."

 

Yeah he's... From what Ray says about him he's just an ass, sort of messed up too. I mean, I'd feel bad for him but I don't really? I bet you it was more sexism than you being a cat though, because the dude runs around in a rat mask... He's gotta be a furry.

Yeah... That... *Trails off and purrs, snuggling against Jordi happily.*

 

[His bright cheerfulness falls away for just a moment, a look of guilty miserable earnestness taking hold of his face.]
It's... it's him, I had to try. If that had actually been him I would have never forgiven myself for not at least trying to get him back... I'm a decent placeholder but I can't replace him, not forever.

 

Lissa bursts out laughing. "She's my sister. Sort of. The Station sent me into the contralateral dimension, which was fucking idiotic, because I met this guy and they lost me, too."

She taps Ford on the shoulder.

"Yeah, okay, but the rat thing? Does he seriously think any catte would want to date someone who dresses up like a rat? Yes, I totally want to bang someone who looks like a kitling's favourite snack and makes fake cat noises at me. Woo hoo, I'm wet just thinking about it." She rolls her eyes so hard it's a wonder they don't fall out.

 

Ford waves at the other Talassani, whom he doesn't know.

 

He's like an internet troll, probably just doing the 'reow' thing at you because he thought it might piss you off. I doubt the kid's ever gotten tail in his life.

 

That's furries for you. He's got a whole thing about predator-prey kink shit too, so there's that too.

 

"Nobody can ever replace anyone else," Ford says gently. "He would want you to be the best you possible, not a carbon copy of him. It's a job, at the end of the day. He did it his way, you'll do it yours."

 

Nivalorrha joins in the laughter. "Just so you know, I don't think I grok the middle part, but the other two sound about right. I don't do the numbers and assorted other symbols, I just make sure stuff goes where it's supposed to. Also, the whole existence of the Beijaden is idiotic, so I'm not surprised."

Nivalorrha nods at who is probably-- wait, is that Stanford Pines? Can't be, he looks way too young and overdressed. And would've recognized her. Ah well, she tended to tune out during his ramblings on interdimensional theory, whatever the hell that is, so it's probably something along those lines. Fucking scholars.

"Just a second, you two, I haven't talked with my niece in ages--"

 

Yeah, well. I think you're doing okay.

 

"You could write, you know," Al'rrhissim interjects. "Something's beeping on my end, though. I'll tell the pride you said hi."

 

[Dick straightens just a little, careless cheerfulness back in place.]
I know. Most criminals think it means Batman will go easy on them now, but if they think that they've got another thing coming.

An honest compliment? From the Red Hood? And it's not even my birthday!

 

I'm trying this whole "brotherly camaraderie" thing out. We'll see how it goes.

 

[Dick's grin softens into a real smile for a moment.]
And you thought, correctly I add, that it's easier to start with the charming and funny brother, than with the super genius or the angry preteen. Glad to see there's still common sense underneath that helmet.

 

"That seems like a pretty safe bet. Also, wow, I'm embarrassed, it worked. But win for me that I didn't dignify that with any response?"

Spoiler: vore snark

"Ew," says Lissa, "no wonder they usually get dead. Generally outside of blood-feuds, disasters and the goddamn Station, we don't eat sapient beings or other carnivores, but an annoying human in a rat mask who hits on unsuspecting cattes while they are going about their business has probably been vored in at least one dimension."

She looks back at the other cattes, smiling. It's nice that they know her sister, and won't be fucking terrified if her accent slips.

 

What, him dying? Nah, not a kink thing-- I mean, unless he's into choking or whatever. Usually it's more a 'hoisted by his own petard' situation, fucking up killing Kenney because he's got this elaborate murder trap or... whatever. Very artsy. Not very efficient. Had to rescue him from it once because the Council of Daves paid me to disappear him, and while I admire the dedication, the execution? Needed work.

 

Wasn't there a whole neurotoxin thing going on there?

 

Yeeeah, that the ticket. Nasty shit, honestly. Dumbass put too much effort into the presentation and didn't spend enough time on emergency exits and failsafes, you know?