shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

"If it had been stupid, there would have been casualties. Other than the target." Lissa smiles and finally looks up. It's not her usual cute smile. "I'm actually very calculating when I completely lose my shit. I'm just dramatic."

 

"This is why we can't ever have friends over for dinner," Mason says under his breath.

 

Ford very carefully moves his hands behind Lissa's head--he's not sure what her peripheral vision range is right now--and then strikes behind her ears, massaging two very specific spots with his thumbs. He doesn't like seeing her like this. It can't be good for her."

 

Oh, sure, but he didn't have them next time we met and I didn't hear anything about someone bombing the Loop, so you gotta wonder, right? Like, was he just doing some renovations, was he terrorizing petty criminals again, was he chucking 'em in the water and fishing... There's so many possibilities.

Still pretty stupid. I mean hell, Pearce got out of that prison with minimal casualties, but his master plan was still getting arrested in the first place. Funniest fucking thing I've seen in ages. Almost makes me want to get him arrested again, just to see his face.

 

"Yeah, yeah. I've never been arrested. I can't do that kinda thing." Lissa closes her eyes and leans back, relaxing into Ford's hands.

 

Sounds like a pretty good night to me. Sometimes you need to make somebody an example.

 

Lissa grins. "He gets it."

 

Can't shame me with something I freely admit, Hood!
[He winks obnoxiously]

[He shakes his head]
Coordinate your "cool motive, still murder" cover story better next time. Look, most meta-criminals have some sort of reason for their rampages, I'm not stupid. Or heartless. None of us are. But I still put my own brother into Arkham Asylum for deciding that the first thing upon returning from the dead was to go on a killing spree and his reason was also "protecting the city".

 

Well, me neither. Sounds like a much less fun time from the inside. But it was funny when he did it.

 

"The only rampage I went on involved property destruction. I'll freely admit that I murdered the shit out of that one guy and I did actually kill one or two of his thugs as well, there just wasn't too much left of them. I also rescued about 30 trafficked kids who found themselves in the Portland Child Services office--I couldn't just leave 'em in a big place like LA--when they woke up, so I'd call that a win." Lissa's closed eyes crinkle up at the edges. "Not fair, Stanford..."

 

[Te stern scolding Older Brother Is Disappointed In You look is even less effective when it comes from a dork in a snarky shirt, sweatpants and ballet slippers but that doesn't stop Dick from trying.]

 

That's what you think.

-he waves to indicate himself-
That'd be me, by the way. Examples, like I said.

Depends on where you are. Arkham had its downsides, but it's got the security of your average gas station. Wasn't that hard to get out of.

 

What, were they just in a box or something? Would've expected a better run operation.

Think I'll give it a pass anyways. This place was supposed to be pretty secure, but I dunno about that-- I mean, Pearce got out using only his phone. I think that's why he needed his phone, anyways. Maybe he's really just addicted to the screentime like I said he was.

 

Okay so your motive is a lot better than most people's I freely admit that. Thing is, if you can kill a guy in close quarters, you can also knock him unconscious and handcuff him in a way that will ruin his reputation, leave the evidence and call the police while you take the kids to safety. Saving people is noble. Deciding just what someone deserves for their crimes on your own is not. The line between being a vigilante, and being a danger to society is killing.
If you want to help, rather than becoming the exact problem you're against, murder needs to stay off limits.

... Sees it's time to visit the director again and remind the arkham staff just what their job is.

 

"They were the ones he had kept for personal reasons." Lissa shrugs. "I did make sure they found his computer. Intact."

 

Stan's just shaking his head. He didn't have any idea about all of that when he asked Lissa to take the job. No regrets, though.

 

[Jordi just starts laughing again.]

What, in a box? I don't think he was very good at this whole thing.

 

Lissa breathes out slowly. "That's probably an easier sell to members of species not known to die in captivity." She does not mention the original reason for the hit.

"No, not in a box," Lissa says. "Look, I am too sober and have too many clothes on to talk about this. Sorry. You now know more than I ever told either my husband or his brother."

 

It's good old fashioned plotting and brute force that gets you out of Arkham.

-sarcastically-
And here I thought it was rehabilitation. Y'know, helping people. Well, I don't hear the Pit too much any more, so I'd say they actually did do their job. Can't do shit any more if a Rogue kills them cause they're in the way.

 

... You know what, I mean that's valid and is weird, but also... *sighs and just gently headbumps Jordi. You hypocritical ass.*