shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

I'm neither confirming nor denying my age. I did pay the adoption fee though. 75 buckaroos, cash too, fake name, the whole lot. That's a big time investment.

 

I don't care mostly about the age thing, it's kind of a 'just a number' thing to me.

I know, huge investment, that's totally the reason I stayed and it had nothing to do with the look on your face when I said I was gonna leave.

 

Lissa makes a face. "Bad Jordi," she says, with the look of horrified affection a lifetime spent with the Pines family gives you. "Don't make jokes about owning black people. Shit's not funny."

 

Honestly he's the only person I'll ever allow to make that kind of joke, mostly because *Lowers his voice to limit the number of people able to hear him* he's kind of been in the same position. *Clears his throat and raises his voice* Still doesn't stop me from biting his nips in retaliation while I'm in cat form.

 

Not fair to the people who die because we care too much about the health of killers, either.

-he backs off a little, looking satisfied-
Just wanted to hear you say it.

-his laugh is entirely without humor-
Oh, we got the Joker. That's for sure.

 

Do you know what I think?

 

So let me get something straight. This asylum is a place for crazies, in which they break out on a daily basis, just for this guy to put them back in order to do it all over again the next day. Boy, I really hope your getting paid for this.

It could be worse. It could be like that guy back home where he paints pictures with the insane's blood.

 

To people? I don't really differentiate. Terrorizing a city's pretty much equally bad no matter who lives in the city.

Yep, currently incarcerated after-... well either way he's in arkham right now.

Sometimes I hate how much of a smug ass you are.
[There's not much bite behind it, though he tries his best to hide whatever is bothering him.]

 

"No," says Ford, "and perhaps you should tell us what you think and what you're thinking it about, or we can't possibly hope to understand you. We were not talking about innocent people. The fastest way to get my wife to turn someone into cat food and their property into a bonfire is to hurt children."

 

I don't know Nickky, he seemed kind of cool. He never did anything bad to us or Blue.

 

"As if I would have eaten any part of that," Lissa grumbles.

 

On a daily basis is kind of overstating it, it's not that often.

 

Hey, hey, hey. I let you stay, out of the goodness of my heart, instead of kicking your ass out on the cold, rainy Chicago streets when my cat turned into a naked guy. I'm the hero in this story.

I'm not making a joke about owning a black guy, I'm cracking one about owning a cat. Probably the same in your eyes though, huh.

[He grins.]

Heeeyyy, you keep doing that and you'll get hair stuck in your teeth again. [He bites Marcus's good ear in mock outrage.]

No, but I'm guessing you'll tell us, charmer.

 

"Did I say that you were the cat who'd be eating it?"

 

I mean, that's a subjective metric. As stated.

 

I think people who say they base their decisions on everyone having a right to health and happiness are full of bullshit.

 

You did, but I'm the coolest cat you'll ever meet.

Heeey! *Take hair ruffles, you fiend.*

 

Okay just for clarification I deal with aliens pretty regularly? Some of my best friends are aliens. My one ex is an alien. So I don't just mean "humans" when I say people in case that's what you're getting at.

 

Seeing as I'm not a mind reader, gonna have to go with no. Guessing you'll tell me, though.

He doesn't. I make my money off a side gig.

Family wouldn't be family if you didn't hate 'em sometimes.
-despite his words, his voice and stance are softer-

 

You know what? You're right. I'll give that to you. You are the coolest cat I'll ever meet.

[He squeezes Marcus's hip, then nips at his ear again.]

Weren't you the one whining about genocides being a human thing a couple pages ago?