shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Lissa looks up at him wearily. "Good. Make me some?"

 

Nope, never gonna let you live it down. My weeb days have saved me, also I mean I like making sushi because it means I get to eat like half the fish while I'm making food.

Um! *Thinks about it and manages to summon up one of his usual massive sushi plates. Sure, he didn't make it but he might as well have, right? right.* The lady has first choice *WINK*

 

Lissa dives in. "Thanks! This place works on the principle of manifestation. I was hungry, but I was kind of out of give-a-shit, and I wanted to experience your sushi anyway."

Fissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssh...............

 

Ugh, of course you do. I was wondering why the number of rolls never quite seemed to match up to the amount of food I was buying.

 

I always put extra fish in the rolls, never use the fake crab stuff. If I'm putting crab in it's gonna be from leftovers of Jordi making crab legs, because it's godly.

Taking my fair share! I had an idea for a roll, that I saw online, and the tuna inside is actually seared with sliced raw fish on top? And avocado of course.

 

Is that your way of saying you want sushi when we wake up? I can see if the tuna in the grocery's any good.

 

That and we still have good pickled radish I also think you'd like this thing because it's one of those savory rolls.

It's still slightly sad that you won't let me fry sushi roll.

 

"Cats eat fish," says Stan. "Just roll with it. Though her vet says she has to eat other meat too, so she gets enough taurine. Fortunately she likes deer."

 

Ford stares at him. "I had no idea you were paying such close attention..."

 

"If you think Carla and I believe you two can really take care of yourselves, you're crazier than I thought you were." Stan blows a smoke ring at him, now that Lissa's off his lap and stuffing sushi in her face. "And even if you were born first, we're older than the both of you now."

 

Think I've had it before. And fried sushi rolls are a fucking insult to my tastes and colon, so stop asking. We're never getting a fryer. You're never putting sushi in it. You can eat that shit at a restaurant.

Cats can also avoid shoving the raw fish in their mouths when they're supposed to be making dinner for both of us. The fish will still be there when it's sliced up properly on a plate.

 

Lacuna is kinda friends with Unicron.

 

Yeah, yeah I know. *headbutts his knee* Also too much floury stuff fucks me up now, which is annoying.

Hind brain says: what if it isn't?

 

[Undertow makes a choked sound and rocks back, uncurling from the hug]

 

-He realizes something.-

But not in the universe we're from!

 

"So good," says Lissa, almost between bites.

"Why do you care if he makes fried rolls, as long as he doesn't make you eat them?" Lissa takes a deep breath. She can't really inhale food, after all. "There's a reason the owning-a-cat thing didn't offend me as much as the owning-a-black-person thing and that's that you can't own a cat. Cats own you. If you try to forbid us from doing what we want, we'll just do it when you're not around."

 

What? [Look she's just a tour guide/unwilling escort you can't just lob things like that at her and expect her to roll with it after bringing a line like that]

 

Hind brain's a dumbass. Hind brain's how you got your ass caught and transformed in the first place. Don't listen to hind brain, he's looking out for himself and fuck the rest of the front brain.

I'm not having a fucking fryer in my kitchen. If he wants to fry shit, he can do it over an oilcan in a alleyway like the rest of us.

 

"Don't use wheat," Lissa says. "Or rye or barley. Grain isn't good for us but the ones with gluten are worst. Don't eat beans. And you have to eat twice as much fish or meat as he does, at a minimum. Eat the parts that humans usually don't, except fur, it gets in your teeth and besides you can wear it, and brains, because that's how you get prion diseases."

"That you know of."

 

It's... confusing in here. Right? All the different places and events pushing together in your head.