shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Thanks! It helps that I use to eat like nothing but sushi even before. *Takes a few pieces into his mouth*

*Shakes his head* Nah, it's chill. It's his thing.

Jordi's allowed to have limits. Those limits are no fake crab, no fryers, no cigarettes, and no getting too hype and attacking the couch. There's a few more, but I'm willing to abide by them.

I mean, hind brain also told me to jump on your shoulders. I guess even hind brain makes good choices now and then.

Yeah, I figured that out. When the rescue was feeding me kibble I was having the WORST hair loss.

 

[He stares.] If there's a fryer in my house, it's very rapidly going to become a big heap of scrap metal. Or maybe a bomb. I think I'm going to make it a bomb, actually, and lob it off the top of a building just to watch people scream.

[He lifts his drink in agreement, tossing the rest of it back before refilling it and stroking Marcus's head.] No shaking me awake either, and if you wanna smoke weed, do it on the balcony. And don't touch my guns.

 

Ooh yeah the shaking you awake thing, I forgot that for a moment. Mostly because I sleep later than you do usually, and if I wake up I can just sort of meow at you or say your name a few times.

Also also: If I want to buy weed I better ask you in advanced or just get someone in DedSec to get me some.

 

"I keep forgetting you're domestic," Lissa says teasingly. "Lissa's limits are that Lissa does what she wants with her own self and her own property, though she asks her family if anything she's thinking of doing might affect them. I don't attack the furniture because it's all of ours, and trees are a lot more fun and effective for keeping the claws sharp. Tobacco is gross though, Stan knows what I think."

 

[He snickers.] Yeah, that one's less of a rule and more of a precautionary tale.

Hey, it's my house. He gets to pick out what happens to the cat furniture, I get to pick out what happens to the Jordi furniture. House. Condo. Whatever. You get where I'm going with this.

 

Yes. Very confusing. [Also, currently, very upsetting]

 

Stan laughs before Lissa can say anything. "She really doesn't," he says. "Everything that's hers is hers and everything that's Ford's is hers. The rest of the house belongs to all four of us. That's how she thinks, but I don't mind, because she'll defend what's hers, and she can't cook, so she and Carla are good, especially since she's the best goddamn gardener in the Falls. She doesn't eat plants but she sure likes looking at 'em, and she'll grow what Carla wants if she's asked as long as she has her roses."

 

Ford clears his throat. "Of course what's mine is hers. I'm hers."

 

Well... in universes where Lacuna would have the chance to meet with and casually talk to Unicron, they'd get along because of her power, but that's not the one we're from. See?

-He gives her hand a reassuring squeeze.-

Look, neither me or Lacuna is trying to do anything dangerous.

 

It sure is, you are soooooooo lucky I love you as much as I do

 

Who said that we were living? And nothing much of importance.

 

I love sushi, I could totally go for some sushi right now. It's been forever since I had an actual good meal.

 

I know the feeling. Having to keep your brother out of trouble is hard work? What's the worse that he has done?

 

Count me in. Fish is amazing, especially with rice and seaweed.

 

*points at giant platter of sushi*

 

[He rolls his eyes.]

I paid for it, it's mine. And I don't really do the whole role reversal thing. What is it people say, 'your kink is not my kink?' Yeah, that.

Uh huh. You're a fucking smartass. [His loving pets give lie to his annoyed voice.]

 

Better than being a dumbass, you have to admit.

 

"I think you mean power exchange, when referring to what you don't do," Ford says, amused. Lissa's fallen asleep (yes, in the Rave--it was where she got tired--but the twitch of her ear says she might wake up if she felt like it). "Role reversal would imply there were normal roles that we were reversing. I guess some people would say there are, but while many humans would call our relationship role-reversed, the conservatives of her species would consider it right and proper, except that she probably ought to have at least one more husband."

 

"Which of us are you asking and how much time do you have?"

 

Huh, true enough. Dumbasses use themselves as bait for every Tom, Dick, and Larry with a gun. Smartasses use their toys instead.

I meant what I said. Might not be role reversal for you but it would sure as hell be role reversal for me. Power exchanges go one way in this house. [Siiiiiiip.]