shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

*SHRUG* Let alone a penis shaped stranger

 

[He laughs.] Nearly anything I say is going to be taken as 'proof' of ill intent by you, I may as well have fun with it. That was the least creepy clip I could find off the top of my head, believe it or not.

 

For real. That's creepy.

What can I say, I really internalized that whole "stranger danger" thing as a kid. Don't worry, though. I know better than to piss off the alien who's exponentially stronger than me.

 

And it's green.

 

[Vector shrugs.] As long as you're not actively endangering the multiverse, it takes quite a bit of doing to piss me off, but fair enough. [He's gone back to knitting. The 'frog' still looks nothing like a frog.]

 

Nothing from green genitals belongs anywhere near somebody's mouth. Not unless they want to end up with an awkward conversation at the free clinic.

Not planning on it.

 

Good to know!

 

OH god no, fuck that. *Snickering. You're awful Marcus*

 

-is obnoxiously draped over Vektor from earlier noogie-ing- You know seeing that thing I am very glad it was Quintus and not you who did the creating.

 

[Amused:] If I wanted to pull something fully-formed and perfect from the ether, I would. It's good to fail at something every now and then.

 

Why? What´s the point?

 

Wanna take me for a swim? I can't swim on my own...

 

One: as I've said, I do fewer stupid things if I keep myself busy. And two: not getting as full of myself as I used to, see also: doing fewer stupid things. We might be Primus-spawned, but we're far from perfect, and some of us need more reminders than others.

 

Uh huh. I'm just saying, you really looked like you were flirting with me. So you've gotta forgive me for taking that to heart. I fucking asked for a reason, didn't I? [He grins. Is he being a sarcastic dickhead or a sincere dickhead? Probably the former.]

Though, honestly, you've got a hell of a lot of expectations for someone to pick up on from the first five minutes meeting you. What, am I supposed to divine how you do sex? Carry a magic eight ball and shake it at every person I come across, replace the die in it with a variety of kinks?

[He lifts his glass in a salute.] Here here.

 

Insolent fool! My takoyaki surpasses that of the Gods!

And it is also lean!

Foolish mortal! I am not some unhygienic creature of the undead. I am a demon lord, and us demon lords have great hygiene!

 

Not in my experience.

 

Yes, yes, I know. -sighs-

-looks up.- What the me is that?

 

Oh

 

Gwaaargh! Have none of you read Theodor Seuss Geisel's Green Eggs and Ham?! There is nothing wrong with my takoyaki, you have yet to even try it!

I am the unholy King of Desire. Why would one of my prominent stature not take proper precautions?

 

A demon from a universe entirely unconnected with ours. Likes to fancy itself a tempter. Not much my style, but, well, something for everyone.