shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

"Since when does that guy dress like me?" Ford is frankly quite boggled.

 

... pretty much everyone dresses pretty fancy on Pennarion. Him included.

 

"I don't know how he dresses on Pennarion, but he's sloppy here. He's got a red sweater that should've been thrown out five years ago, a bunch of tunics that make him look like a low-level D&D character, and his sideburns are taking over his face. I think I've seen him in yoga pants on at least one occasion. The dirt's permanently ground into the toes of the boots he wears most often."

 

Yeah. He does often dress like that. But he can clean up reeeal nice when he has to.

*norm realizes what he just said - or rather the way he said it - and put his head in his hands*

*godfuckingdammit*

*why*

 

"Okay. But the point is that I was discussing someone who dresses like me. A shithead named Stanford Gleeful." Ford rolls his eyes. "When we were in college in California, Fiddleford told me I should always wear blue, because it matches my eyes. And in case you haven't noticed, I took it to heart."

 

Ah. Yeah. That's definitely not the Ford from my Pennarion.

*laughs* And that's a dumb name. I mean, seriously? Gleeful?

 

Ford shrugs. "It's an old name up in the Falls. We're talking about a guy that demons are scared of."

 

That is impressive.

 

"Why would you even think I meant the Ford you live with?" Ford shrugs. "I think he's got a stick up his ass sometimes, and I don't approve of some of the things he does, but I'm fairly sure the feeling's mutual."

 

He's the only Ford I've ever seen you interact with.

 

"You know we're both interdimensional travellers, right?" Ford smiles. "He was out there longer than I was, but we've both been in lots of places and met lots of people that you'd never have had the chance to see us talking to."

 

Well, yeah, but... it's easier to assume that the people you're talking about are people I already know about, you know...

 

"That doesn't make any sense." Ford shakes his head. "It might be easier, but you're likely to be wrong."

 

Eh, true, but... sometimes when you're talking about a Ford, the Ford I know is the one you're talking about. And I don't wanna juggle equations in my head trying to figure out which one you're talking about every time you bring your counterparts up.

 

"You could try asking," Ford suggests. "I don't actually think I talk about that guy a lot. It's rather irritating, too, to think you're always comparing me and my family to him and to his. You know, you're standing there judging me because I don't want to go back to a planet I spent a very difficult and complicated several whole months on, but he's abandoned his homeworld, too. Amazingly, this is because he spent many years there and is happily married on Pennarion."

 

It's not as hard a connection to make as you think it is, buddy.

 

Ford makes a face. "I'm sorry you find it so difficult to overcome your solipsism, but my family and I are people with their own lives and histories, and it's ridiculous for you to assume I don't know people you have never seen me interact with, or that I owe it to you or to anyone else to go back to a planet I hid out on for a couple of months and save it from itself because it makes you sad to think that some places are not as nice in some universes as they are in others."

 

[Vector blinks a little bemusedly at the Norm-and-Ford Show.] I step out for the tiniest bit and you fill most of a page with mixing up iterations again? Is this going to be a recurring feature?

Oh, of course. It's easier to flip straight from Good to Evil, but there are plenty of Neutral Vectors too! Not me, but, well, most of .24 doesn't do neutrality well. Tempers and whatnot.

 

[He looks down the not-so-little-anymore organic. Seems to be friendly but he's holding still regardless, lest he step on anything important or startle the creature] Hello there little one. [He does however somehow manage to get the same croon any humans would get in reaction to say, a puppy]

 

-Badulf decides to give Jason a break from puppy juggling and resumes investigating Updraft. He bounces around like he does with kids, trying to reassure giant friend that it's ok to move around him. Bads is fast and durable! And big again. While bouncing he spots the organic wing bits and lets out an appreciative bark, stopping so his tail can wag so much whole back half moves with it-

-Letha notices that bark was off and leans to tilt her head in their direction- Badulf! What did you do? -her voice is more amused than angry, and Bads flicks his ears back guiltily then tries to bark... smaller. Without changing size again. It does it work. He looks from Updraft to Letha and visibly decides "fuck it" as his ears perk back up and he barks more because he can-