shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

*Pauses and then wraps his arms around her. He can tell she's sad.* Hey, it'll be ok. Not much else I can say, yeah? *He laughs a little and gently squeezes*

 

*Haku's started peeling the old polish off one nail, and he looks up at Jason* I...have to think about it. Thank you.

 

"I know you'll be fine," Lissa says. "I just..." She curls up into a ball in his arms, her voice breaking a little. She knows he can hear the tears in her voice, even if she refuses to let them out of her eyes, not that she's going to win that fight. "I can't have any more, at least not with Ford, definitely not with anyone closely related to him, and possibly not with anyone human. We've tried and tried."

 

-Mirrors scooches a bottle of something over to @Haku. It's in the same nondescript brown bottle as all his concoctions but it doesn't smell as alcoholic this time. Still slightly, but not as much-
Dis vill help cheer hyu op, eef hyu like!

 

*Wraps his arms tight around her, petting her hair gently.* I'm so sorry, I... I wish I could help, but I imagine you've tried everything... I mean, you do have kids though. I'm not sure if you've told me a lot about them, but if they're anything like you they're great.

*Continues to pet because no, don't be sad.*

 

Lissa sighs. She is, in fact, crying, despite her best efforts. "I...have a daughter. She's grown. She's wonderful. She's probably closer to your age than I am. I'm older than you, but we live longer, so I don't look it or feel it yet. And I helped raise Stan's grandkids, you've met them I think, Mason and Alex? I helped raise a lot of kids, but I only ever gave birth to one, and she's in hiding because our enemies want to use her for something terrible. I haven't seen her in a really long time. Sometimes she stops in here to let me know that she's okay..."

 

Yeah, I've seen Mason and Alex around. They're good kids, and I don't mind if you're older than me. Just means you're probably a little smarter. *Continues the pettins* At least you get to talk to her sometimes, that's good. I mean, I knew my parents but not super well? They were pretty well out of my life by the time I ended up in deep shit, not sure if it was the whole embarrassment factor or the cancer that got my dad first.

*Goes quiet before hugging Lissa again* You're a good parent, from what I can tell, and I've always been of the opinion that family is what you make it. I know that's kind of hollow because... Yeah... But-- You know if you need anything I'll do what I can to help, right?

 

*Haku picks up the bottle and sniffs it cautiously.* I trust you aren't trying to poison me, and I appreciate your consideration but...how quickly am I going to hit the floor if I drink this? It doesn't smell strong, but I'm unfortunately a lot smaller than the two of you *He indicates Jason.*

 

-Mirrors considers this, then waves a hand- Iz not effen stronk, hy promise. Effen for schmoll hyumans like hyu. -a grin that's probably supposed to be reassuring-

 

*Haku shrugs - he's already dead, what does he really have to lose? - and takes a long swig, eyes squinched shut. He breaks off after a moment, coughing a bit.* It's hot.

 

-Mirrors cackles and pats Haku on the back surprisingly gently- Vill put hairz on hyu chest! Mek hyu beeg end stronk!

 

"I know." Lissa swallows. "I know you will. I'm just jealous. Not in a bad way, just I feel bad for thinking how lucky you are when you didn't even plan this..." She sighs.

 

*Haku snickers a little.* I don't think there's a drink in the world that can do that for me, but I sincerely hope so. *He takes another long drink, ready for the burn this time, but still ends up wincing and coughing.* 'S like trying to drink a campfire. What on earth is in this?

 

-Mirrors leans over and sniffs at the bottle- Ho yez, dot vun hy added sum ov de fonny burny fruit tings vun ov mine brodders found ven he vos een de south. Dey gif eet quite de keeck, hy likes eet!

 

*Haku's discovered that shorter sips make it feel less like his throat's on fire. There's a comfortable heat in his chest unrelated to the spiciness, and everything is starting to seem a bit more pleasant.* It's good I'm dead, maybe you'd burn me to death otherwise. They had spicy food 'round the coast, but not this spicy. *For some reason, this is extremely funny. Haku starts giggling, and then stops himself.* Oh, I'm tipsy already. Told you. Maybe I shouldn't have drunk that so fast.

 

-Mirrors laughs and pats him on the back again, then shrugs- Dots vot iz meant to happen! -he appearifies his own beer, also spicy but with that eyewatering quality that means it's probably not safe for human consumption, and toasts him- Cheerz! -then he swigs half the bottle in one go and leans over to scruffle a hand through Haku's hair-

 

*He can't stop himself from stiffening a little on instinct, but he still leans into the touch instead of yanking away. It's nice, and he doesn't want to think about it too hard.* Mm. Thanks for the drink.

 

-Mirrors pats him on the head- Hyu iz need to relax. Eef hyu iz dead, bot here, iz time for hyu to stop carink, ja? De vorld iz ozzer pipple's problem now. Vould hyu like hyu cookies mit or mitout bogs?
-yes, he has a plate of cookies now. Beer and cookies: the quintessial Mirrors experience-

 

*He blinks.* I dunno what you mean. You talk weird. Sorry. I like any kind of cookies though. *He returns to picking industriously at his old nail polish.* Oh, I can make things here, I forgot. Once I take this off, what color should I do?

 

-Mirrors heaves a theatrical sigh- Iz not mine fault hyu pipple kent hyunderstand goot Old Mechanicsburger. -he sets the cookies down between him and Haku- they look like they've got nuts in them this time- and pulls out a bag of what appears to be beetles, which he munches on- Bogs! End hyu should defeeneetly paint hyu nails red. Like mine hair.