shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

I can't do anything else. *His voice is muffled and very quiet.* If I can't be something to someone then I'm worthless. *He hugs his knees even tighter, trying to be as small as possible, and in his head he's seven again, hungry and so alone with the snow falling all around.*

 

-Jason snorts-
I've met plenty of worthless people in my line of work. Wouldn't count you as one of them. You got shit you wanted to learn, remember? You can learn to be something else if you want.

 

"Maybe that's what they told you," Lissa says gently, approaching the boy. "But it is not true." She sighs. "People need one another. That's true. It's not good to be lonely. But your worth is incalculable, because nobody else will ever be you. I have three sisters, only one of whom I've met. We have exactly the same genetic code. But we are very different people. Physically, and emotionally, and spiritually. Different experiences change the way the code is expressed, and we've learned different things. Nobody else will ever be you, Haku. That makes you invaluable. Sapience is precious and we must conserve and nurture it."

She sighs for a moment. She certainly sounds like her sister right now. This isn't the way to talk to a child, but it's what Ford told her. How can she put it in words for a child? Jezebel and Mason and Alex absorbed these concepts just from growing up in the family.

"You're precious, there's only one Haku."

 

But would anyone even care? *There's a hysteric edge on his voice and he looks like he's about to start crying, but when Lissa starts talking he swallows hard and listens.*

Spoiler: bordering on suicidal ideation

*You can see the wheels turn in his head for a long, long moment. He keeps trying to look her in the eye and then darting his gaze away.* But I shouldn't have been born. *He finally manages to meet her eyes, looking steady but utterly miserable.* I only have my Ice Release, the best and most useful thing I have, because my mother had it. It's a bloodline trait. They used to kill people with traits like that, but she escaped, but I got her killed because I wanted to show off what I could do. If she never had me she and my father would still be alive.

*He's still looking at her, but his eyes are fixed on something a long, long way away.* The best thing I ever did was die. At least I could protect someone that way.

 

"Haku," Lissa says, "you've never given birth to a child. Your mother knew that having you was a risk and she decided to take it anyway. You know why? Because she wanted you so much that she didn't care. I have a daughter. I'd give almost anything to have more children. It's not your fault. Even if you did something stupid, you were a kid, and kids do stupid things sometimes." Lissa sighs, wipes her eyes with her sleeve. "Believe me when I tell you that she doesn't regret her choices. Believe me when I tell you she'd want you to be and do whatever you want. Because that's the truth. You lived inside of her body under her heart. She wanted you to live, and she knew what kind of risks she was taking, but she didn't care, because she wanted you."

 

Why would anyone want me? *But it's strangled-sounding, barely audible. His eyes are all glittery with tears and he looks away from her very quickly.*

 

-Well, the reassuring approach isn't working, time to try something a little different. Crying is difficult.-
People like all sorts of weird shit. No way to tell why for a lot of it.

 

"Because you're hers. Because you're part of her and the person she loved." Lissa shrugs. "We're emotional animals--you can't reason it out with just logic, Haku. We fall in love and mate, and when we mate, most of us--not all, but most--want to bring new lives into the world. Giving birth is painful, but it doesn't last. Taking care of little children can be very pleasurable. Watching someone who used to be part of your body grow and become an entirely new person is fun. Especially if we're from groups that people hate and persecute and try to destroy, because then having children is extra important."

 

*He spends a long time with arms wrapped around his knees, chin tucked into his chest, biting his tongue to keep the tears back as much as he can (and he's an idiot, he really is, for daring to show so much weakness in front of people he actually doesn't even know). But eventually something someone says (and he can't be quite sure what - maybe it's just that they're willing to talk to him at all) cause the broken, rotting ache in his chest to ease a little. He uncurls just a bit* Okay...okay. Sorry.

*He looks down at the forgotten and browning banana, wrinkles his nose, and starts to think up another cup of water.*

 

Lissa sits down near him. "You don't need to be sorry. You might be a little young to drink liquor though. We let our kids taste it when they were younger, and if they were going to drink, we wanted them to do it in the house, but...we wouldn't have encouraged it, at your age. If you can eat some food, it will help."

 

*With something approaching disdain:* I'm not a kid. *He's managed to magic a canteen up out of the void, and is sipping from it carefully. It makes his head pound to concentrate, but after a minute he manages to generate a small bowl of rice as well.* ...I don't think I'll ever get used to that. Do you know how it works?

 

"You're not full-grown either," Lissa points out. "Liquor will hit you harder now than it might in a couple of years. This is a dreamspace. It's responsive to your hopes, desires and fears. Things that you want to be true can be true, here. But only while you are here."

 

*He drinks and eats, and his head still hurts and his tongue feels too thick for his mouth, but it's less bad than it was. He considers for a moment.* I do think that there's a place for me that's not-here. I started to fall asleep - yesterday? I guess yesterday - and I went there. It wasn't much of anything - just cool and quiet. I don't know. *He thinks for another second, and then, shyly:* If you want...another person...to be here...will they be?

 

"You can try and call them in from their sleep. But don't try too hard. You could also create a copy that would only exist in here." Lissa bites her lip. "I'm not sure that's a good idea. It's definitely not a good idea if you want to have a relationship of any kind with that person in the other world."

 

Oh. I...don't think that would be good. He wouldn't appreciate that. *He holds the canteen and watches as frost starts to form along its lip. It occurs to him that he's very, very tired.* ...if I go and then come back...are there always people here?

 

"I'm not always here, but there's usually someone here," says Lissa. "There are a lot of different kinds of people here."

 

Okay. That's good. *His eyelids keep flickering closed. When they finally stay shut, he abruptly blinks out of existence, like he was disconnected from the server.*

 

But you have the same skillset?

*wide eyes* so your saying that you protect the universe and this Sigma Cluster is the root of evil?

 

Yo, pass that over here. Let me try some.

 

If I may, we use special shots and medication where I come from. It may seem like a long shot, but it could help.