shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

-grins, summons a drink tho-

You know I see you right?

Fucking turrets.

 

Spoiler: Pseudo incest

Well now, I can't leave you heartbroken, can I? Let me make it up to you, D- Bats.
-he smirks before tightening his grip and abruptly dipping Dick, leaning in and giving him his best romance-novel-cover kiss. He has one hand in Dick's hair and one under his lower back for support. He might be dared into this but he's competitive enough to make it his best anyway-

 

Shhhhhhhh. [The sound is either muffled or enhanced by slippery sweet potato noodles slipping out from between his fangs.] oops.

 

Oh shit turrets are annoying to deal with. At least you don't gotta worry about killing people when you take those out though so they have some good.

Spoiler: pseudo incest

[Hell. Yes. Dick makes a very happy noise, kissing back enthusiastically. He's only clinging to Jason a little bit because of being dipped, nothing at all about latching onto every shred of affection to put where a well-adjusted person's sense of self-worth goes, nuh-uh. Just brother's daring eachother into smooching in public.]

 

"Well, I agree with you about that, but you were earlier talking like you were going to offer yourself up as a pell for him to beat. And that is not a good idea." Lissa shakes her head. "Oh goodness, you two are so adorable right now."

 

"Hi Thunderwing, how are the noodles?" Lissa grins. "I brought plenty."

 

Really carbon-y... Organic I guess? [He shrugs.] And wiggly! So wiggly. Why do people eat these when they run away even after they're dead?

 

Look, the cat lady has some! trake hers! -summons more noodle- These are spicy though.

Would it ruin your day if i told you these were people, sort of?

 

-snort laughs-

 

Cat lady? Who's cat lady? No one was on these so I took them, they're mine now!!! [Puff Bug! It was in his mouth even if it escaped again, it's His!]

 

Spoiler: Pseudo incest

-After a probably uncomfortable length of time, Jason levers Dick back up and breaks the kiss. He ruffles Dick's hair to try and hide that maybe that was more pleasant than just a joke would suggest, and smirks, less meanly than he did before-
Better?

-for the sake of his own sanity, Jason ignores the adorable comment-
Can't study under the big B and not come away with a penchant to throw yourself in front of the bullet.

 

Lissa giggles. "Because they taste good, of course. To organics anyway. Most noodles are made of wheat and I can't eat that, but I like these. They're absolutely not nutritious for me, but they are for humans."

"You could just ask what my name is and not be racist about it." Lissa laughs to show she's not really offended. It's not like someone's accusing her of being a neko-musume again.

"I think that's supposed to be me."

 

Oh! I guess you taste stuff different? It's not like it tastes bad, not a lot tastes bad, but it's kinda... boring? And lots of work!! Even though it's already in tiny pieces!! It's good you can have them if you want them, though!

Oh! Are you a cat? You're so tiny, I can't see your kibble very well, sorry! [A face that's 80% fang by volume should not be able to pout. And also has a random noodle still stuck in a joint. Shhh.]

 

...
D:
[His face clearly says we have to save them, even if the words don't actually leave his mouth because he is the bleeding heart, it is him.]

Spoiler: pseudo incest

[His face is one of pure bliss and he leans into the hair ruffle for a moment, still not letting go of Jason.]
Of course. You're not that bad at kissing.

Yeah. It's probably not really the healthiest tendency, but...
[He shrugs. Look at least he's come to acknowledge his savior complex and doesn't just pretend he's perfectly normal anymore.]

 

Fine. These are mine. -makes a small fortress of takeout- Cat lady is the one with the ears.

 

Lissa meows at him, then laughs. "I am tiny. But the mis are even tinier, and they're still cats."

"Just don't get confused about healthy and normal and we'll be okay. I don't think anyone needs to be normal. Whatever that even means. I'm also not always clear on good. Evil is a little easier, because I know that one when I see it even if I can't explain very well, but good is kind of a crapshoot?"

 

[He nods, and settles down a little. If it's possible to eat noodles defensively...]

Haven't smelled mis! But yes, some things are tiny! Just means I have even more problems seeing them.

 

Don't ask me, Lissa, I'm not particularly good at the best of times. Batman is feared, not loved, y'know.
[These kinds of statements sound just a little ridiculous coming from a skinny thirty-something year old with way too many bruises and bandages, hanging off of his younger brother's neck like he's arm candy at a fancy party while not even wearing shoes, nevermind any other part of the Bat Suit. Even the mask he is wearing is one of his old Nightwing masks, much more comfortable than the cowl for casual hanging out like this.]

 

Spoiler: pseudo incest

-snorts, since rolling his eyes can't exactly be seen under the white lenses of the domino, but he's not exactly in a hurry to let Dick go either-
I know that. Had plenty of feedback to that effect. I meant your broken heart, or was it just so good you forgot about that already?

 

[jade summons a very rare steak, in part to see if she could, and in part because everyone else eating is making her hungry. the steak might be just lightly irradiated, but she likes the taste, so there! nom]