Bad, Hilarious, Or Just Absurd Baby Names

Actually, there's an urban legend that's pretty similar to this. Here it is.

A woman was pregnant with twins, and had a very difficult pregnancy. She slipped into a coma before the birth of her children.

Now, fortunately, she awoke a week later. "How are my kids?" she asked the doctor.

"They're doing well. One boy, one girl. Your brother named them while you were out," the doctor responded.

The woman was more than a bit worried. Her brother had never been the brightest bulb in the hall. "What did he name them?"

"Your daughter's name is Denise."

The woman felt pretty relieved at that. Not a bad name, really. "And what about my son?"

"Denephew."

 

I'm pretty sure there's a gag in one of the Discworld books with someone named "Denephew" in Lancre.

 

It might have been a nod to that story! It's been circulating for a very long time.

 

wut.

 

I mean, could be worse, could have been "steh-veh" or something.

 

Bad/weird names are a time honoured tradition

 

A friend of mine is a receptionist at a preschool, and one of the students had a super long name (with tons of middle names, I mean) but if you just took her first and last names she was called "Angel Speed".

 

Angel Speed sounds like a Bond girl from the 70s

 

Nice list, though I'm slightly confused as to why Hiram is on there. It's certainly lost popularity in the past century, but as far as I'm aware, it's a non-unusual Hebrew name. Enid is similar (not in origin, just popularity); it's not a common name, but people recognise it enough that you wouldn't put it on a list like this.
Idk though, maybe I should be giving the author a Goyish Pass over this.

 

Can confirm I have never met someone with those names, so it's probably a Goyim thing

(ETA: do I call myself a goyim or is that not ok I don't know how to words)

 

Goyim is the Hebrew plural of goy. You can also say goys, which is what I prefer, because it's what I'm used to. The singular noun is goy; the adjective is goyish :)
ETA: I only just clocked that you were asking if you can use the word to refer to yourself :P got too caught up on grammar! Yes, you can use the word goy for yourself or for others. It's been adopted into English (hence why my autocorrect is not trying to correct it).

 

My inner language nerd is really excited about the grammar lesson, so thank you!

 

Anecdata: gentile here, consider "Hiram" a pretty normal name. I don't know if I've ever met a Hiram or an Enid in real life, but I've certainly seen them in fiction (e.g. Hiram McDaniels the Literal Five-Headed Dragon from WTNV). And I think I've seen some Enids in the old people lists I go through for work? At most they just sound kinda old-timey to me, like the person with that name is probably 85.

 

Enid mostly reminds me of enid Blyton,who wrote boarding school books for teens that i had. (Hanni und Nanni)

 

One of the alternative names my parents had for me before they settled on one was Allegra. Mind you, this was before it was an allergy medication.

 

Oh, hey, have I ever mentioned the Zucchina thing here?

 

No, but now I'm curious.

Also yeah, some of the "weird" names there are like...uncommon, but not weird? I actually have a close friend who goes by a diminutive form of Tirzah, and she's a few years younger than me. Like, just because a name has fallen out of fashion doesn't mean it's """kooky,""" especially not compared to some of the bullshit I see nowadays. :/

 

Basically, had I been AFAB, my mother's main name option was "Zucchina". She actually got... Kinda mildly offended I picked Alix and not that, though it wasn't as strong as the opposition to me changing my name in the first place.

 

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