shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

You can't really get anywhere by killing one of the Blume heads. They're like that... whatsitcalled. Hydra. Cut one off and you get three more, and all three of them have spun the first guy's death as a tragic example of what happens when ctOS isn't fully implemented in a city.

Makes my job easier, but it's hard to contest the companies who use your resistance as proof that they're needed.

 

Mh. Gather dirt on them too and threaten to release it to the press if they don't go down quietly. I'm sure if Robin was here he could give you pointers on staging a covert takeover of the board until they're completely without power and never even realized you planted your own sympathizers right next to them, but I don't have as much of a brain for numbers.

 

"You can call me honey, as long as you don't mean you think I'm an idiot," Lissa replies. "I call everyone pet names most of the time. And I do respect you. Sometimes I think you're crazy, but I'm certifiable myself. Thinking you're crazy does not mean I don't respect you. My husband can at least take meds, they don't have anything for me but herbal remedies and best guesses." She sighs. "Look, I don't know you personally, but if your life is anything like the movies and comics the kids get into, the Joker and guys like that keep on getting loose, and if I were you I would have killed that motherfucker ages ago. I respect that you don't want to do that. It's nice you have principles. Ford has a lot of principles. Sometimes they get in his way, but Stan or I will take care of it. And maybe your world is not like the fiction and you already did get rid of those bastards. I just worry about people."

"That guy is Jordi," says Lissa. "Hi, Jordi."

 

Seriously, you're seeing this right? It's like the Chinese fucking knockoff toy of the original. What the fuck.

This is fucking me up. I thought I'd met all of you. Who the fuck thought this was a good idea.

[TIME TO DRINK.]

Hi. Yeah. You wanna tell me what's up with dollar-store Marcus over there?

 

Oh hi! It's Aiden Pearce! Did you know they have all sorts of information on you and your relatives? *THIS SOUNDS THREATENING BUT HE HONESTLY DOES NOT MEAN IT THIS WAY*

Oh of course! Numbers are easy though.

Dusan Nemek? He's the one who killed me then turned me into an artificial intelligence

Hey! Who even are you? Jordi. I don't-- That doesn't-- You're not in the-- You're not real. *Sounds a bit huffy.*

 

"Blume killed Marcus and ripped his brain into an AI, and then he got loose? The story is better when he tells it."

Lissa pulls herself in and gracefully leaps off the pole, doing a flip. "You want to meet my sister?"

 

Yeah, fuck that guy, is that who you want to kill? Kill him. He deserves it. For whatever the fuck this is.

[He downs an entire glass of whiskey, then pours himself another one.] And I'm more real than you are. By a metric fuckload, I might add.

That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard and I've been in some really fucking bizarre universes, let me tell you. Who's your sister? Most people don't introduce me to the family but hey, that's your bridge to burn.

 

That's... pretty impressive. Anything current?

[He mutters something suspiciously like 'goddamn sociopath' before pouring himself a glass too. Whatever, Jordi brought enough to share.]

 

[Wires frowns, finally sitting up. Is this worth leaving the soap opera cuddlepile for?] No, I don't see no fraggin' knock-off, I see a person in his own damn right.

 

>:(

You don't exist in the database.

Not since before the Chicago Incident, also called internally the 'Fucking Fixers Situation'.

 

Uh huh. I'm gonna find him and poke him whenever I figure out which universe he's in. Goddamn weirdo.

 

"I'm her sister, and I'm also a former assassin."

Valiska jumps down off the pole. She is obviously a close relative of Lissa's but has lots more hair. And a lot more clothing on. But you can see that she's also got lots of ink under it.

 

What, those Umeni-Zulu contracts didn't work out so well for them? As long as none of the information is current, that's fine. It's expected. What'd you do to piss off Blume so bad?

 

"You must be Aiden. I'm Lissa." Lissa gets herself a drink, still watching @Ignis of Vos while she circulates.

 

I can't remember directly, from the files I've got I apparently was a pain in the ass hacker.

 

Excuse me.... You know, I'm not even gonna fuckin' question it?

 

Yeah, no shit. You couldn't pay me to stick myself in some godawful 1984 knockoff.

Why's it always former? Seriously, is there any better paying job out there? Because I haven't found it. Nice hair.

 

Lissa hugs Marcus enthusiastically.

 

...Hi. Nice to meet you. Are you a friend of Jordi's?

Yeah, that would do it. Seems pretty dumb to me to stick a hostile mind directly into the system, but I guess it wouldn't be the first time Blume thought they could use a renegade hacker for their own ends. You'd think they'd learn.

 

[He smiles weakly.]
I protect the citizens of Gotham. Most of the time the lunatics I fight are citizens of Gotham too. And not all of them can be held accountable for what they're doing. The Joker is an extreme case. Take others. The Mad Hatter has a family- had. Had a family until very recently. Until a different lunatic went around pruning the population of 'Tainted lines'. They lived in Gotham too. They were murdered for being too close to someone who made bad choices. Do you know why our angel-maker went around starting to kill people related to arkham inmates? Because his father was killed by Phosphorous. I lost my parents to crime. But I made a choice. I swore revenge, yes. But I do not plan to pay death back with more death. That would only cause a revenge spiral and who would be helped by that? No one. I don't need the mob being even more out of control because suddenly Batman kills people so now they feel they have to shot with everythign they've got in an attempt at an extinction strike-
There. If my conscience isn't enough there are pratcical reasons for our rules too.

[He laughs, rolling his eye.]
And here they called me wonder boy and savant. I'm surronded by geeks!
Numbers are okay, I'm just really bad at business stuff. Again, I'm- I grew up in a circus. You don't learn much about how to run a big corporation in the air.