shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Oh! Hey self!

It's not-- You know, I only know one way that a person can end up a null in the database.

*Makes a noise that sounds like a synthetic snort* HA Blume, learn... You're funny.

Well, they're easy when your brain can cheat them.

 

Well I can't fraggin' stop you now can I? He's still a person, an'e deserves to be treated like one.

I dunno, how about anything that pays in more than the bare minimum of rations and warm zealotry fuzzies?

 

"Thanks. We won the revolution, and I don't actually need to work for a living any more," Valiska explains. "My husband and I made some scientific discoveries that keep our bank accounts full. I do work my ass off keeping the Imperium going, because the revolution's over but now we have to hold on to the place, and I still teach at university because I love it." She pours herself a drink of something non-alcoholic--sure it's a dreamscape, the kits can't be hurt, but that doesn't mean her astral body doesn't rebel at the taste--and sits down.

Valiska is terrible at jokes. She knows this, but she always has to give it a try now and then. "And then again, I could be shitting you and only want you to think I quit."

 

Wrong side of man-bun's dick parade?

 

You know it!

 

I bet. Hey what if you used that power to really fuck with the big guys? Game wall street some and donate the money to charity. Make up some ridiculous alter ego for it even, just to rub it in. Just be careful which companies you destabilize, yeah? Use your powers for good, don't destabilize economies.

 

There's a grab bag. If your knockoff ass decides to start listing them, I'll perform a-- whaddyou call 'em-- a manual restart, yeah. That's a fucking choice computer joke right there.

Well there's your first problem. Stop working for the ideology and start working for the cold, hard cash. You don't need to pay a zealot. A professional on the other hand...

Ugh, more of that 'ruling' shit. Don't bother trying to explain it, I'll never get it. Being on the top's a one-way ticket to getting your ass overthrown. I don't think it actually counts as a profession if you're controlling the banks, but hey, bankers exist still. I get paid to shoot 'em. Sort of a ecological niche at that point, isn't it?

[No hesitation, he hauls Marcus up against himself. His Now.]

What, this something you're at risk of running into? Christ, you piss so many people off. It's a gift.

 

Watch yourself my digital homie.

*And now he's in a lap, welp.*

Probably not. I've already put Dusan in jail.

 

I honestly want to avoid doing that until we've gotten everything stable here in San Fran. I like moving from local to national.

... You can't kill me. You literally cannot kill me. The worst you can do is break this body and annoy me, which will only lead me to annoy the piss out of you.

 

Oh good, so we've just got everyone else you piss off to worry about instead. Seriously, you're a fucking magnet for it. It's impressive, because you're not a goddamn idiot like Pearce is.

I mean, theoretically I could destabilize your universe and let it collapse in on itself, but fuck if I know how to do that. Pretty sure I could though. Just gonna take some practice.

 

It's intentional *He sounds smug. He is smug.*

 

Hey, you never know. They're working on making pigs that can fly too-- we'll get one or the other eventually.

Hey. You know how you always say we don't hang out? This is why we don't hang out, Jordi.

 

[He grins.] See that's smart planning, but it's also what they'd expect probably. If you can pull both off at the same time no one will ever suspect it's you guys messing witht he stock market.

 

I am firmly in favor of the ideology of "not dying by way of slagged-off boss who might actually be possessed by Mortilus himself". You find a way to take down Tarn, be my guest.

 

I mean, yes, but going by that rule I would still exist so long as this space existed. I'd explain exactly how resilient my programming is but I feel like you don't care? So I won't.

Anyway, I mean I am kind of a knock off. I'm not actually Marcus, the Marcus in your lap is more Marcus than I am since I'm a copy of a template of a different Marcus' brain after a car accident. That Marcus is dead now and I'm alive, and I'm still Marcus but not really Marcus.

You dig?

Nah, Dusan is too busy grooming the man bun he makes in his pubic hairs.

Oh probably but I can only spread so far before the FBI starts paying attention.

 

"I'd like to think so, but probably not." Lissa grins. "I'm definitely Marcus' friend though."

Lissa nods. "It's my opinion that people like the Joker have forfeited their rights to being protected as 'citizens' of a place they do nothing but fuck up. And if they can't be held accountable, that's a thing, but it's also a thing that if you can't help them, you have to do something about them. But you know your world better than I do. I don't understand why you think I wouldn't respect you for being from the circus, though. Remember, I'm an illegal alien from another dimension with falsified documents and I've been in a lot of places where for various reasons I wasn't considered 'real people'. As far as I'm concerned, all sapient beings are 'real people' unless they tell me they would rather not be referred to that way."

 

This might be a pretty out there suggestion but have you considered: killing him? [Siiiiiiiiiip.]

I don't really... care. I stopped listening after the second time you said your name. I mean, as long as no one is backing up the pages in a seperate file, just nuking the forum would be enough too.

 

"Oh, I'm not the ruler. I said 'not it' before anyone else could, and everyone knows I speak for my husband as well. Tainell actually kind of wanted to be. So he is."

 

I mean that's fair I guess? Nothing on the internet is gone forever. Someone's going to refuse to clean out their cookies and there's going to be a ghost copy of this page and then I'll still be alive. Or something.

Honestly it's all kind of moot though? You're just mad you didn't know I was a thing, aren't you?

 

Thanks. I needed to know that about... what, the CTO, right? Former. I remember seeing that on the news. It's not going to be a pretty look in prison, but he's probably going to one of the cushy ones.

If he hasn't tried to kill you yet you're... probably friends. Maybe. Hard to tell with him. [He says it like it's a death sentence.]

Or so I've been told.