shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

"Of course you're not the same person!" Ford snorts. "I'm certainly not the same person as him--" he points at @the author speaks-- "and you're not even Marcus' altself!"

 

Why is there never just one of everyone? It´s confusing as hell.

 

"Sit!" Lissa barrels down out of the silks and gracefully jumps, to land on her feet. "There's only one you, so far! And Valiska is really my sister, even though we have the same name." She grins at @Marcus Holloway. "Marcus!" she says, and runs over to hug him.

Then she glances at @Marcus Hampton. "Would you think I was totally a basic bitch if I asked for a PSL? I can't taste the sugar, I just like the spices and cream."

 

Valiska blinks. "Where. Where does she get her energy?" She looks up at her Ford. "I get tired just watching her."

 

*Gives her a quick hug* Hey Lissa!

 

I don't even know if I have, uh, altselfs? That would be weird to meet. I don't know if we'd get along very well.

Coffee's coffee, and no one's a basic bitch for liking what they like. Except for the dude who came in and ordered one of those 'most expensive drink ever' because that's just doing dumb shit for the sake of dumb shit and won't even taste good. [He goes through the motions with the same ease as he would pretty much any other automatic task. He's worked at Starbucks for a long time. And lo! One pumpkin spice latte, with a smilie face drawn in the foam.]

 

I got one worse for you, bro.
Cafe Americano, cut with water.

 

[He makes a pained expression, then takes a careful breath.] No one's a basic bitch for liking what they like...

 

Let it out, man. Just let it out. *pats him on the back*

 

"Thanks!" Lissa grins at him. "And they don't get along well at all, those two." She shakes her head. "It's ridiculous."

 

Well good. Also hi!

You can´t just say that and not tell us what was in it!

Wow Marcus, cruel!

 

Ooph that's a hard one to get away from the press loves puns.
[He bites the inside of his cheek a little to eep from laughing. That's rude. Don't laugh at people with terrible names, Dick. You've got the impulse still from when Speedy stopped being Speedy, just remember how hard Roy can elbow people.]

As I said, I'm off the clock. Plus my Robin's the menacing brooding one, sometimes you've got to shake things up a little to stay relevant.
[He's not gonna comment on the comics thing. Can't catch him paranoid thoughts!]

Yeah Manifestos are one way to do it I guess. And good, having team mates who keep an eye on you is important!

[Okay he can't not laugh at those.]
That's some incredible names alright. Sounds like something I would've come up with when I wore the disco suit, god.

Yeah, some people have that problem. It's why the team bases of operation usually have dorms too, just in case someone can't keep a civilian identity easily.
And hey that wasn't bad for a first try.
[He grins.]

[He makes the most pained, mournful expression]
That's not even really coffee anymore, whyyyyy....

 

Uh, twenty three shots of espresso, seventeen shots of mocha, seventeen shots of caramel, all on a white mocha base. It was stupid.

I don't think Queenie counts as a teammate but yeah, they're... they're good for me.

[He snickers as well, then shakes his head.] You want to know the worst part? They made a point of using these names and this guy did all his work in a speedo and nipple pasties, and people were still shocked when it came to light that both of them were gay. Can you believe that?

 

Well, I mean, we do work together but mostly we do the theater thing... I kind of avoid.... the hero groups, you know darling.

 

"Thanks!" Lissa grins up at him from the floor. "I'll give it another go after coffee! You said you were sometimes called Nightwing. I like that better for you than Batman. It seems ... more you."

She takes a deep breath. "Stan made a joke once about a mechanical rice harvester, regarding my ears. Ford didn't know whether to punch him, or be proud of him for knowing the reference."

"Ford had a character once in a Champions game which is like a comic book RPG? Guy called himself Lavender Lynx. In his secret identity he was like, married, to a woman, with four kids. It was actually really good for protecting his secret identity?"

 

Gotta change ith the times huh?

Wow, all that shit and they can´t even bother to get creative.

 

At least they didn't mention the secret menu

 

Yeah, I know. I don't blame you, honestly, because I'd... hate to see you get hurt, you know? And I don't want your swarm hurting people, because they'd just spindoctor that shit on you. So I get it.

[He snorts.] They got replaced by the Federation not long after, and he ended up taking them to court. Federation ended up settling out of court, because it was giving them some really bad press, but Flamer still got blacklisted and these days Federation work is the only kind that won't get you arrested. So he works with us now.

Ughh, if they were creative they wouldn't pull that shit in the first place.

UGHHHHHH.

 

That's why I've been playing camera boy~!

*Fake whiny voice* Ummm Marcus, but I saw on the internets that there's a secret menu and I want the unicorn vomit drink and the butterbeer frap!!! How could you!!!!

*Snicker laughs* I would like a pink drink though, those are so good! Thank you for showing me then, darling.

 

[He gives Queenie a very tired look.]

I got those down, actually. Like, I know most of the major 'secret menu' drinks, because so many goddamn people ask for them? It's just... god, if you want something off the menu, just tell me how to make it. You know? [He leans against Queenie, wrapping an arm around his waist.]