shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

[Tallest did not respond??? Poke again. Is this actually a person? It feels kinda too warm and soft to be a person...

More interrogative chirping???? +1 Poke]

!!!! [A thing! It moved! Gentle boop? Maybe this is the part that is for attention-getting?]

 

[He has been betrayed! Or has he been? He has no idea why a cat may be bapping him on the face.]
Sorry, cat, I think you'll have to explain what that means.

[He pokes back with a foot, as cautiously as possible.]
You gonna try to eat me or something?

 

*Gentle boop return*

*Dude he cannot talk like this how could you. Mrehs before headbutting him and pointedly purring at the bugs*

 

Hey, hey, be careful, those are babies.

 

Eat?? [They know that word!!! The one by Keith chirps, abruptly Very Loud and Excited, and the other two barrel over (shh no they did not trip over each other that would be silly) to meep excitedly at him. Congrats, Keith, good job, well done.] Eat!!! Eat yes!!

[The blueish one adds, with as much Pride and Superiority as a very young bug can muster:] Please. [See they know three words together!! They know so many words. All the words. All the important words anyway.]

 

-Stentato holds out a biiig plate of rust balls for the kids.-

Hey, babies, have some... never-ending dream food?

-How do babysitting.-

 

-A teenage girl in a pink kimono tumbles in. She picks herself up, muttering, before looking around. She shrieks with surprise upon seeing @The Swarm and trips when she tries to back up-

 

[Oh god he is so bad at animals. Help where is Allura. Or Pidge for that matter, Pidge always gets the cute disney aliens.]
You think they won't eat us? You sure about that buddy?

Wh-?

[OH SHIT SUDDENLY VERY LOUD EXCITEABLE ALIENS IN HIS FACE! He practically leaps over the back of the chair, taking the cat with him if the cat lets him, yelling.]
NO! No eating me!

 

They're babies. Which means they don't know enough about what not to eat, for one thing, but also...

Babies.

 

I KNOW WHAT BABIES ARE!
[He sounds incredibly frustrated]
How do I make them not eat me?

 

[Blue perks their head up, mandibles twitching; they hop a step or two closer, chirping the start of another question-sound--]

[--and then there is Loud Noise and it is time for siblingball again. At least one of them screeches back, though exactly which is hard to tell.]

[Distress squeaks!!!! People are making angry sounds!!! The trio huddle as close to the base of the chair as they can get, but do not actually appear to be moving towards Keith so much as under cover.]

 

Feed them something else. Which I'm doing. And ask them calmly not to eat you. They're just babies!

-Stentato sets the plate down and backs off, hands up.-

Eeeeasy, baby. See? Food! For you!

 

-There are smols! they are squeaking! Chirps back soothingly-

 

Prr!

MAH MRUH *FLAILS and jumps free, flicking his tail before turning back to human shape. Thankfully, dressed.*

Fuck, dude. I got babies in my stomach, careful.

 

-Stentato picks her up.-

Hey, hey, rude! You're startling the babies! They're just... they're goddamn babies, don't be mean.

 

-She looks up at Stentato, her eyes wide. He's very big, but he seems to calm. Maybe things aren't as bad as they normally are when she gets separated from the group?-
Where's the mother, then?

Oh no! Did I startle you? I'm sorry!

 

I don't know if they have a caer. I don't know them. I just know they're just babies and probably shouldn't be yelled at.

-He awkwardly sets her down.-

 

-And now we're back to screaming again. Getting picked up is no good even when the person doing it is her own size. She clutches Stentato's hand for a moment before taking off her sandal and hitting him with it.-
Put me down!

-Puts her sandal back on and fixes her kimono, huffing-
I was just surprised! I wasn't yelling at them!

 

[Food! But danger? But food....

One of the three detaches cautiously from siblingball, plating as fluffed out as it can go. They are Big, fear them!!!! No eating siblings!!! They skitter over to the plate, making Very Impressive Growly Sounds. Much intimidate, very stronk.]

[Someone who makes the right noises!!!! And is Big!!!! The remaining two babybugs make a mad dash for Sprocket and huddle at his feet, still distresschirping. He is not their bigbug, but he is a bigbug.]

 

I have no idea how to deal with human babies nevermind alien robot insect babies?

[He yells with approximately negative dignity.]
WHAT? Y-You were a cat until just now!