shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Honestly, it sounded to me like the 'I think' actually meant you wanted to say we weren't matesprites but didn't want to actually say that.

 

Touchy, aren't you? [Is saying so rude? Probably. Does Afterglow care? No.] Does it matter what other people think of your relationship?

 

... *Stares them* At least wipe your feet first, damn. No one's charging.

Sure is.

Alright. You know what? *Starts throwing tooth picks at the insecticon. No, he doesn't really care about this thing very much. Mostly it's the point of the matter, and he doesn't want to fight here.*

 

"Yes!" Lissa replies, laughing. She manages the controlled 'fall' much better this time than she did the first five or six, and jumps down. "How have you been?"

"That's one of the little Transformers, silly, don't hurt it. @Sprocket, you wanna come get the baby?"

Lissa sniffs the air as she approaches. Jordi is always Jordi, in all the universes he's Jordi in. Why doesn't he smell right?

 

[Someone finally caught some rest. Why is his bar three feet to the left. What the fuck.]

Who's the douchebag in the halloween mask? Seriously, they make those that look like real people now?

 

[Said bug doesn't even register anything. Sometimes rubble happens And That's Okay. More importantly: shiny acquired!!! There is a disappointing lack of landing space on what they thought was another long table, but if they bother to actually stand on two legs they can reach!!! All the shinies!!! Or at least most of them. The important thing is these shinies make nice almost-chirpy noises when they tap them with their claws.]

 

Good, but you know how it is.

Sure, still on my bar.

I don't know, ask yourself that question. If you're trying to pretend to be me you're a fucking failure at it.

 

Oh, leave them be, they're just exploring. Worst comes to worst I'll summon up replacements for whatever they break.

 

-they maintain eye contact, knocking back a bottle of... something, they didn't check, and deliberately tilt their feet so their high sandals set against the floor at an angle, spilling little piles of sand out-

 

He´s just playing! And Afterglow is here, is his swarm. Won´t intrude unless newspark is in danger.

-nods-

 

"Why would I have an opinion?" Valiska scratches her head. "I'm sorry I offended you, Norm, but I'm just frazzled. And also confused. What you said about Dali makes sense, I've just been observing the way they banter. It borders on pitch sometimes, and pitch isn't something I understand very well. Ford has that wiring, but I don't." She shrugs. "I think you can call yourselves whatever you want. I just wasn't sure if you'd decided to make it official. Ford thought you probably had, because he says Sunshine's the kind of person who comes on a second date with a moving truck, which I thought was rather funny, coming from him...but I thought it seemed kind of fast, so I wasn't sure."

 

Are you trying to, what is it the kids call it these days, get me "tilted". *Air quotes and everything*

 

Uh, you're the one removed from reality. Not sure how you plan on explaining that away, but go for it. I'd love to hear this.

[He needs a drink. There's a bug robot at his bar and some weirdass wannabe clone. Christ.]

Do you have to get that everywhere? Seriously?

 

"He's him," says Lissa. "I-dee-kay who the fuck you are, but that's the Jordi I know."

"I know that, but I'm not sure he isn't in danger. We have two Jordis now, one of them smells wrong, and the one that smells wrong is the one that was throwing toothpicks at him."

Lissa frowns.

 

... uh... yeah... I don't know why but it does.

*laughs* Actually, when me and Sunshine met, he thought I was the one moving too fast.

But yeah. We're official. Or at least... I think we're official. This place is fucking with my brain and making me confused about where I am on my timeline and what timeline I'm on, so... I can't be sure. But I think, in my main timeline, at this instant, we are official.

 

Explaining what away? For someone pretending to be me you're having an awful hard time adapting.

They do, pretty sure it's some kind of "Woke" teen horse shit

I'm Jordi. I know you and your husband Ford, how the fuck is this hard?

 

Good Fucking Grief Someone Not Me Shove The Duplicates Into Eachother Until They Merge Im Getting A Headache.

 

Thank you. Seriously, who the fuck does this guy think he is?

You don't exist. I'd know if you did, because I'd be you. Ergo, you're some kind of... fuck, what the hell are the kids into these days? Alternate universes? Clones? You're a goddamn clone or something, because you sure as fuck aren't me. No matter how many people you "claim" to know.

[He does the quotes with his fingers too.]

 

The sparklings are in no danger. [Afterglow says this calmly and with absolute certainty, but has removed his hand from Chewtoy Time. Scritches are much easier to move from if he needs to.]

Really? Odd.

 

Hey! Works both ways asshole. Well, when I slept this time I knew something was different but I'm one-hundred-percent that you are the fake one. If not the only thing that I can think of is that something happened at some point to split me and my splits off from you.

I'm not a fucking alternate universe either, I'm me and I'm like twenty other me's in a trench coat. I made this bar, I've been bouncing in and out of here for a while, but I can also see that the page shows us slightly different. Still, I'm Jordi Fucking Chin.