shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Your name has to use special characters to exist. Fake. [And hey, now that he's noticed that, Jordi's feeling a lot more smug about this. He gives the other Jordi a smirk and pours himself a drink, manifesting a luxurious black leather couch to flop over in.]

 

Uh-huh. Still not a faker and you should know damn well that I'm not. *Stands up with his own drink and starts to stalk closer*

 

*Guess who else is here because chaos is fun*

I-- *Looking between the two and... What. Huh.* Am I interrupting something?

 

Valiska laughs. "Most of us in this pride move too fast. We have to, we spend way too much time getting shot at!"

Valiska shakes her head. "Look, I believe you know my sister and her Ford, but...maybe in a different timeline? Because my sister's right. I wouldn't have thought much of it if only one of you were here, because I don't know you as well as Lissa does, but there are two of you, and the other one's got the scent we both know."

 

[Jordi narrows his eyes but pointedly doesn't come out of his relaxed posture.]

Hey peaches. There's a fake here, and he thinks he's gonna be hot shit by walking at me like he's got a chance shoved up his ass. You wanna back up a couple feet just in case?

 

[The investigative buglet has somehow managed to bring several bottles down on and around themself. They make nice sounds when they break!!! The buglet laughchitters delightedly, crunching shards of glass against the floor.]

 

Hey darling, could you step back a bit? There's some asshole fake that thinks he gets to sit down and act like he's hot shit.

*Even while stalking he makes it look relaxed.*

Doesn't work that way for me.

 

Uhhhh....

Uhhmm?

.... The possibilities here are endless. *Yeah, right, there you go Marcus thinking with your dick* You could both, like, not do that?

 

[He laughs.] Come on, look at yourself! You can't even frame your goddamn threats right. As if you could do anything to me here anyways.

[He glaces at Marcus sidelong.] Yeah, not gonna happen. This guy touches you? He's dead.

 

"Of course it doesn't." Lissa snorts. "You apes are weirdly sexy, but you can't smell anything."

 

Oh For Fucks Sake Just Make Out And Get It Over With You Same Face Syndrome Fucks

 

Aren't you like two years old?

 

Right, which is why the whole posturing thing is pointless. Even if both of us threw down right now it'd never fucking end because we'd both pull the 'not happening' card. Mostly because this is a no fucking and no fighting space for us.

If he touches you--

*Narrows his eyes and glares. How dare you post before him.*

I don't mean the scent thing, I mean I don't have doubles.

Aren't you like two years old?

 

I mean I was gonna say you two should just kiss, but uh... Like, chill. You've both got this thing for me, apparently, so I'm not seeing a difference here.

 

Just On Principle Im Now An Ancient Horror Of Unknowable Age. Quiver Before Me Mortals And Despair.
[... Nope she's still very much a lanky, half starved looking teenager sounding as bored as a single person could possibly sound]

 

So you should be a good little clone and skedaddle then, shouldn't you? And that's my Marcus, so don't get any ideas.

You're mine, that's the difference. This fucker doesn't get to waltz in and take credit for my shit just because he looks like me. I got fucking standards.

Sure kiddo. You keep telling yourself that.

 

[She lazily snaps her fingers and just summons a bubble of technicolor troll blood threateningly bobbing over Jordi's head.]
Doesnt Sound Like Youre Quivering.

 

Yours? No, Marcus is mine. It's not like I'd live in his shitty little house just because I wanted to brush up on my culture or something.

Sure kiddo. You keep telling yourself that.

 

-muzzily, from their Ball of Snuggle- And neither of you are the pizza guy!

 

I mean, thanks babe but also--

Oh, owch, burn-- I mean, yeah that's Jordi but wow owch.