NSFW RP: consent, minors, and other boundaries

Okay. So then the only problem has been...

FL playing iterations of a sexually aggressive character, which he's stopped doing anyway because it was making some adults uncomfortable?

 

How? In the sense that words are used?

IDK, I think there's a pretty big difference between saying "Dick and Jane kissed and walked off into a dream bubble" and "Dick and Jane kissed and then blah blah, tab a, slot b, x times"

 

Well, there's Mara from the SMT games, who is literally a giant green penis in a chariot. Hard to make that not a penis.

 

@Mara

 

(Also, as a clarification: I think that part of why some people might be uncomfortable with 'fade to black is a sexual roleplay tactic/NSFW' is for the same reason why someone might be hurt by, for instance, being told that fursuiting or wearing lolita is Inherently A Fetish/Inherently Sexual. For some people, it genuinely isn't that, it's a convenient narrative device to avoid thinking of anything sexual, and it's pretty triggering for them to be told that they must be thinking of sex 100% of the time always, regardless of their feelings on the matter.)

 

textual 'saying that you think this measure/environment is unsafe makes me feel bad/is Bad because you're saying you think it was unsafe,' i mean. if someone else has a different reading based on the words themselves feel free to offer it, but i legitimately can't see any other interpretation of them.

 

Okay, but not everything has to change just because someone is uncomfortable? That's part of what I'm getting at. Are they upset because people invalidated their discomfort, or are they upset because people didn't change things for them?

 

I think it'd be pretty funny and fit the tone of the SPR to blackbox Mara's head in the icon and have that physically show up whenever he's popped in the SPR. He's a joke character anyway, soooo.

 

Can you add the cards to the emoticons that Kathy made so we can use those for OOC-communication?
And then we can maybe agree that Yellow means 'Please discuss this OOC before going forward/slow down' and red means 'Drop immediately no discussion whatsoever'? I think that might be a good strategy to at least try out maybe!

 

alright, heading down to work in a few minutes; may or may not rejoin discussion after depending on where it goes and i feel like i have anything further to add, but hopefully i've been at least a little helpful in sorting stuff out. peace.

 

Point of order, off topic: The lolita subculture suffers from an unfortunate name due to Japanese misunderstandings about English words. There are actually furry subgroups that do yiff. The lolita subculture doesn't produce any fetish material. In point of fact, you run into a lot of people who are very anti-sexual and sex-repulsed who throw fits when they even find out that another lolita has a kink life, even if they keep it strictly separate from the lolita community.

 

I mean there's ero-lolita.

 

... Yes?
Like, I'm fine with portraying over/underage pairings (And I mean significant age gaps, I'm not talking about "18 and 17 year old standing next to each other", keep that to Tumblr, please), but I mean. If there's one time you really do need to be anvilicious about "this relationship is absolutely unhealthy and there's no possible way a relationship like that can be healthy", it's this ?
Besides, the "Maybe they're just getting ice cream" argument is complete fucking bullshit. Like. When I do that kind of argument, people get angry at me, and they're absolutely right. It's incredibly obvious from context that fade to black implies sex. I am absolutely not comfortable with the mental images it occasionally brings up. And whoever says that's my fault should probably try to remember which forum they're on.

And sure, for the sake of argument, let's say it hasn't happened yet. It will. And we shouldn't wait until it happens to do something about it. A law reinforcing the penalties for arson after a wave of those causing wildfires in the next state over would be considered a good idea even without any arson having happened here.

 

i wrote up this whole two paragraph post of options for mara's icon but black box is funnier than any of the ones i thought of, this thread is going too fast for me to be witty, i object to this whole proceeding.
*grumpily continues eating my snacks*

 

Not everyone rps relationships to be healthy, Palin.

 

Okay, so, I would like everyone to replace their fade-to-blacks with the exact sentence "And then they had sex." Would that be acceptable?
It doesn't change anything in the meaning, and is the exact same level of detail. Because no, they're not going to get fucking ice cream.

 

So it would, for instance, fit under the "assumptions about the baseline sexuality of my interaction with the thing hurts me"? Because that's the point of the metaphor, to show that for some people the way that their specific avoidance of anything sexual associated with (lolita/roleplaying/fursuiting) is a major point, and it's upsetting and triggering to be told that they are being sexual nonetheless because of it.

(The people who yiff/have murrsuits are about as common as the people who dressup in adult maid uniforms and call it lolita. Like, the subculture is really not that big. It's absolutely tiny, all things considered, because fursuits are fuckoff expensive and most people don't want to get stains on them.)

 

Fluffy relationships without any hint of abuse dynamics beyond "One of them is a literal fucking child" tend to imply "this is a healthy relationship", yes.

 

In some cases, there were people who were not involved in the threads in question popping into the discussion threads to discuss discomforts that had no actual discernible relationship to the events that took place.

For instance, a spoiler-tagged conversation between several adult characters played by adult players that took place in the presence of characters played by minors is not the same thing as an adult player or their character making repeated efforts to involve a minor player or their character in that conversation.

I guess that could count as being told "why it was okay" but it was actually being told "that never happened."