NSFW RP: consent, minors, and other boundaries

Discussion in 'That's So Meta!' started by seebs, Sep 2, 2017.

  1. cleverThylacine

    cleverThylacine cuddles for the weird and the fierce

    Sounds about right to me.

    Right down to the "holy shit brand is expensive" thing.

    (I personally love good fursuits and think they're hella cool but I can't take too much heat or I start to melt.)
     
  2. Codeless

    Codeless Cheshire Cat

    Yeah. I was not upset about being told the security measure doesn´t work, though i still disagree with it not working, I am upset about being told my security measure is somehow in itself suddenly a sexual act.
     
    • Agree x 5
    • Witnessed x 1
  3. unknownanonymous

    unknownanonymous i am inimitable, i am an original|18+

    i'm bothered by fade-to-black being equivalent to sex because by that logic, posting an unfinished oneshot on ao3 is the exact same thing as posting a finished oneshot on ao3, for example. like, it's basically the same thing you're arguing for: the readers can continue it in their head so obviously it is full and complete thing.

    and stopping rping with someone is the same thing as continuing to rp with someone because, hey, it's all in people's heads, anyway!

    your dvr stops recording in the middle of the season finale of doctor who? don't fret! don't even go looking online! the recording contains all of it you could want and all that you could need! the episode will end however you imagine it will end, and if you get in a heated argument about it on outpost gallifrey when it turns out your imagined ending was wrong, feel satisfied in the knowledge that you're actually right!
     
    • Agree x 2
    • Winner x 2
    • Witnessed x 2
  4. IvyLB

    IvyLB Hardcore Vigilante Gay Chicken Facilitator

    Right what I'm asking is if you think a romantic relationship between two characters with a significant age gap requires an 18+ tag even if they never actually engage in on screen sexual intercourse, if you think those things can be allowed in PG-13 places like the rave as long as posts regarding that subject matter are getting spoiler tagged with precise warnings, or if it's enough if the thread this kind of thing happens in gets an 'Age Disparity in Relationship' tag (or mention of it in the content warnings post) for the convenience of new players and readers, as long as all current players are okay with the content?
     
    • Agree x 2
  5. Petra

    Petra space case

    Where has this been happening, Palin?
     
    • Agree x 1
  6. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    I think there is a shades of appropriate sexual content spectrum and people's opinions fall in various places on it.

    My question is just... If some people's opinion falls more towards "this is too sexual" than others', are the people who think it's not to sexual losing out on anything by not doing fade-to-black sex with/around kids? That's a genuine question; if it makes playing in the same manner prohibitive I see why the upset.
     
    • Useful x 1
  7. Codeless

    Codeless Cheshire Cat

    It makes a lot of relationships and some entire characters unplayable in for example the SPR if you widen it all the way to Around, rather than With.
     
    • Agree x 4
  8. palindromordnilap

    palindromordnilap Well-Known Member

    I think part of what's going on is that one side is arguing against Tumblr antis and the other is arguing against "Fuck you don't take away my child porn"
    And of course, neither of those sides are actually that. But that seems to be the source of most of the miscommunication and Stock Arguments (See "Relationships aren't always portrayed as healthy", which I've never actually denied).
     
  9. TheOwlet

    TheOwlet A feathered pillow filled with salt and science

    I think a problem here is knowing whether or not kids are present, meaning that if it was to be implemented like that the only way to be sure would be a full ban of the thing, which I personally see as both prohibitive and excessive.
     
    • Agree x 3
  10. rigorist

    rigorist On the beach

    I'm inclined to think the folks who hang around in the rp threads are on top of this themselves and don't really need Staff assistance.
     
    • Agree x 2
    • Winner x 1
  11. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    Okay, that's a workable point. I think that fade-to-black that doesn't involve known underage players actually playing the characters is probably just as fine as other passively consumed fade-to-black pg-13 media.
     
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2017
    • Agree x 7
  12. unknownanonymous

    unknownanonymous i am inimitable, i am an original|18+

    yeah, like, if two (or more) characters are in a relationship that involves sex, banning stuff like fades-to-blacks means that their relationship might end up unmentionable because of how hard it is to disentangle the sexual aspects from the rest of the relationship.
     
  13. IvyLB

    IvyLB Hardcore Vigilante Gay Chicken Facilitator

    It honestly very much limits me in some aspects, because depending on where I would have to draw the line I would have to pull several characters out of their current RP Thread (the SPR) entirely because... like you can't make Deadpool not sexual. And he's the most extreme example and I do my best to keep him to mostly PG-13 (swearing excessively aside) but there are several characters of mine who have perfectly normal adult relationships, because they are adults and their partners are adults and sometimes they exit the rave with someone else (whose mun is also an adult). I honestly do not think it's necessary to go as far as to pretend sex doesn't exist and that people do not sometimes have it?
     
    • Agree x 5
  14. cleverThylacine

    cleverThylacine cuddles for the weird and the fierce

    I need to know how big an age gap you're talking about before I can agree with this, Alix, and whether or not we're taking into account the way particular types of nonhumans age and the cultural parameters.

    I mean I can't think of very many ways a modern 15 year old human high school student and a modern 35 year old human gainfully employed adult could have a healthy relationship. There's too much power differential going on there. But I don't think anyone has been writing that either.

    I'm not opposed to someone wanting to talk about the issue and make a ruling about it, but all these vagueposts about "something going on somewhere that someone felt they couldn't say anything about" really bother me because if this HAS already actually happened, I'd like to know where and when.

    I want to know where and when because I know people have said accusatory things about Kintsugi RP in the past that had no relation to the actual posts in the actual thread.
     
    • Agree x 2
  15. Codeless

    Codeless Cheshire Cat

    I think it should be allowed for minors, if they so wish, to RP relationships that include not written sex, meaning fade-to-black or offscreen entirely, because this provides a safe and hopefully comfortable way for them to do this.
    It should also be allowed for someone to not RP any sex ever, where the best way to insure that would be a post in the OOC thread and perhaps a signature on their RP subs.
     
    • Agree x 5
  16. swirlingflight

    swirlingflight inane analysis and story spinning is my passion

    Part of the difficulty is that there's a good number of folks who've been steadily in the rp threads, and some who've left them due to unresolved discomforts -- and some of those were for reasons related to this. There may be stuff to this that the usual rpers are blind to, since those who didn't like the current solutions have mostly left. Staff Assistance ™ includes the ability for Seebs or anyone else to ferry unsourced comments over from those who don't want to be attributed to their perspective for various reasons. I don't know how time sensitive or pressing it is, aside from the volatility and possibility of fights breaking down.

    Which, I suddenly remember, we can use the report tool for.

    Remind me to add more cat pictures and/or puns for further reporting.
     
    • Agree x 4
    • Like x 1
  17. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    Okay, so. I think I'm starting to see a major disconnect.

    Which is that there's genuine disagreement about whether a "fade to black" which implies that sex is probably happening off-camera is okay or not. Some people feel strongly that this is acceptable because it's PG-13 rated, and some feel strongly that it's there to indicate that There Is Sex, which they view as Not Okay.

    And I don't immediately have an answer, because these views are both reasonably common and I don't know how to resolve that disagreement.
     
    • Witnessed x 3
    • Agree x 1
  18. Saro

    Saro Where is wizard hut

    (Plz post on general cat-ter if you can I want to see)
     
    • Agree x 1
  19. palindromordnilap

    palindromordnilap Well-Known Member

    "Reasonably squicky by non-Tumblr standards"? If you want numbers, while not exactly accurate, the "age divided by two plus seven" rule modified to add "if at least one character is under 16" would probably be good enough, I guess.
    ... Okay, so, none of the ways I can read that sound really good, so I'm actually just gonna ask you to clarify, because I'm not sure what you mean here.
    Oh fuck, there goes the "age of consent is 9 in some random country" thing again.
     
    • Agree x 2
  20. rigorist

    rigorist On the beach

    That's how actual communities work.
     
    • Agree x 2
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