NSFW RP: consent, minors, and other boundaries

Discussion in 'That's So Meta!' started by seebs, Sep 2, 2017.

  1. rigorist

    rigorist On the beach

    If people will use the damn report button!
     
    • Agree x 7
  2. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    I think it would be easiest to just say "please don't do this here" to underage players, but discussion is welcome.

    Also I'm really happy at how civil this is staying and that progress is happening. Exhausted tho *lays down, dead.*
     
    • Agree x 1
  3. Khan

    Khan why does anyone NOT hate her

    Oops. (I don't think anyone is suggesting adults don't RP sex with adults. I think they are suggesting said adults don't do so in minor-accessible spaces, without warnings/spoilers, etc.)

    "Purity culture" is not some gotcha. It has nothing to do with the topic at hand, and it feels rather like it is being used as a magic incantation to evoke Nasty Antis. I don't care what people get up to, as long as it isn't being waved around in front of minors or in minor-accessible spaces. I am all for an 18+ wall or a minor/nonminor verification.
     
    • Agree x 2
  4. cleverThylacine

    cleverThylacine cuddles for the weird and the fierce

    Wrong again.

    She was talking to:

    * another character who was played by another adult
    * who asked her a question about it
    * and it was posted behind a spoiler tag
    .

    If you're going to say shit like that, Alix, link to the fucking thread.

    Also she is not a self-insert, and hello grudgewank, I sure haven't missed you.

    ETA: I actually reported this post because you were there for the entire conversation and you know this is a fucking lie. This is WHY I think these discussions should include links to the alleged content.
     
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2017
    • Agree x 2
  5. rigorist

    rigorist On the beach

    :hussiedance:
     
    • Agree x 3
  6. palindromordnilap

    palindromordnilap Well-Known Member

    [laugh track]

    (I'm not even gonna bother to answer to the rest of that stuff because people have literally spent weeks explaining to you why you fucked up but you still deny it.)
     
    • Agree x 1
  7. cleverThylacine

    cleverThylacine cuddles for the weird and the fierce

    I have yet to see anyone explain anything to me about the actual post that I made in the RP. There were arguments, but almost none of them were actually about the post I really made. They were about an argument I had in the OOC thread with several other adults.
     
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2017
    • Agree x 1
  8. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    Yes. But I also think that if multiple people of different ages, not all of whom even disagreed with your position per se, are reporting that they thought the argument in question became "creepy", that is perhaps valuable information to take into account?
     
    • Agree x 3
  9. IvyLB

    IvyLB Hardcore Vigilante Gay Chicken Facilitator

    So what's actually being debated right now?

    • Should sexual RP of adults with Known Minors occur on this forum?
      • That's not really up for debate, I'm pretty sure we're all agreed that it shouldn't!
      • A stronger signaling of You Must Be This Old To Be Here would be nice though!
    • Are Fades-To-Black (the narrative allusion to two or more characters having an intimate encounter, with no details being given as to what or how) inherently too sexual to happen when at least one of the players involved is a minor?
      • This is I think still being debated actually.
      • It's absolutely no question of if they should or should not occur if any of the involved players are uncomfortable! If someone signals discomfort with anything that is happening then things should be put on pause and discussed!
    • What Content Is PG-13/Kid-safe Anyways?
    Current proposed solutions:
    • stronger signaling of which threads are NSFW/18+ via a new thread tag
    • Actually seperating out the 18+/NSFW RPs into a new Sub-forum equivalent to Bottom Serket
    • Minors visibly marking their RP-Subaccounts with 'I'm a minor!' or 'No sexual RP please!' in either the descriptions or the signatures (or both, to be safe!)
    • Alternately: Making the entire RP-Area 18+
    • Potentially the addition of a clickthrough page on the 18+ areas
    • (only vaguely related to the current discussion: Making a content warning list if your RP doesn't already have one publicly posted!)
     
    • Useful x 6
    • Like x 2
    • Agree x 1
  10. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    Is this conflict with cT relevant to forum organization or should it get a TCHGB thread or something? I can see the merit of discussing it here but maybe the issue would be better served having it's own thread. Something to consider, at least.
     
    • Agree x 2
  11. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    I think the question of whether we should be adopting a specific stance, and if so what, on RP-involving-minors, is probably a legit forum question. Because there's actual dispute about some of the boundary questions, and I don't really have a clue how to resolve it.
     
    • Agree x 2
    • Useful x 1
  12. Codeless

    Codeless Cheshire Cat

    should note i think a "No sexual content please!" Mark would be useful for anyone, regardless of age. separate to the specific "Player is a minor" mark.
     
    • Agree x 9
  13. cleverThylacine

    cleverThylacine cuddles for the weird and the fierce

    I thought the argument was creepy on several sides and not just my own, particularly the part where complete strangers dived in claiming 'perspective' and proceeded to call me creepy based on something I didn't actually do. But it's not relevant to what the site policy ought to be, @seebs. If you want to talk to me about this argument in private sometime I sure will, but I'm not rehashing the whole thing in this thread.

    My reason for bringing it up is that I'm fucking sick and tired of having people say that I did a thing I didn't actually do. I did not provide an unsolicited, unspoilered anatomy lesson to any minor directly ever. I didn't try to involve the minor or their character in my response to the other character.
     
    • Agree x 1
  14. rigorist

    rigorist On the beach

    Looking forward to the Kintsugi Jr. High roleplay thread because it will be indistinguishable from regular Kintsugi.
     
    • Winner x 7
  15. IvyLB

    IvyLB Hardcore Vigilante Gay Chicken Facilitator

    Hmmm I can see why but again I can also see that it'd super suck if minors couldn't imply their characters are having a sexual relationship in a way that doesn't actualyl involve anyone playing anything out because it... means that they're effectively cut out of a huge chunk of potential topics and themes that might be directly relevant to their current interests? Again None of this means I think every minor ever should be fine with their characters doing like anything at all, from eating a sandwich to getting nasty with someone else - if the player doesn't want to do that it's no discussion, it shouldn't be happening!
    I'm not sure if saying 'No you can't say that your and your bestie's (who is also a minor) middle aged gardening champion superhero OCs are married and that that marriage sometimes includes them leaving a party giggling like newly weds and touching eachother's butts, then waking up in the same bed the next morning. That implies they had sex between leaving the party and waking up and that's a sex-adjacent activity.' is actually super fair to the minors involved basically.

    Oh! Yes good point, I could have phrased that better, silly me.
    Definitely agreed!
     
    • Like x 1
    • Agree x 1
  16. Chiomi

    Chiomi Master of Disaster

    I'm really glad this discussion happened, even if it's dredged up a lot of stuff and there hasn't been any solid agreement.

    Forum changes:
    • NSFW thread tag now available for use.
    • red/yellow/green emoji
    • Potentially a NSFW RP subforum
    • potentially a tabletop RP subforum?
    Things which have been suggested as courteous things for roleplayers to do:
    • mark in your rp-account description and/or signature if you are a minor
    • mark in your rp-account description and/or signature if you'd prefer not to have sexual content, as easy shorthand for the people you're writing collaboratively with
    • communicate (possibly OOC) what level of description is comfortable for the people you are RPing with - what the relevant agreed-upon rating looks like for them in terms of romance, violence, swearing, darker themes
    That mostly seems to be where we've arrived, yes?
     
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2017
    • Agree x 4
    • Winner x 2
    • Informative x 1
  17. palindromordnilap

    palindromordnilap Well-Known Member

    So, I'd like to point out a mostly unrelated thing, but I mean, it probably adds some perspective. Wait, is perspective bad now? Who knows.
    So, anyway, I recently found two Twitter accounts. One of them was some middle-aged guy who was apparently into age play. The other was a 11-year-old girl. They were dating and regularly did explicit RPs. The guy's justification for it being completely okay? "Well, we're not actually having sex, it's just our characters we're roleplaying!"
     
  18. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    @IvyLB I still don't think it's really necessary for kids to be doing fade-to-black rp with adults or each other on this site. Like... There's a lot of things to relationships that aren't fade-to-black directly implied sex. They still have most of the human experience to explore.
     
    • Agree x 3
  19. sirsparklepants

    sirsparklepants feral mom energies

    I'm dropping out of the thread after this, but based on past discussions of similar topics I think it would be helpful if people in the thread could define what content they feel is sfw, nsfw, and 18+, especially since the latter two are not always interchangeable. An example: I think explicit sex, explicit on-screen abuse, and violence involving serious injury are 18+, innuendo and implied sex are nsfw, and kissing and light violence are sfw. If people share what they feel is in each category, it might help the discussion be better understood.
     
    • Agree x 4
    • Useful x 2
  20. Khan

    Khan why does anyone NOT hate her

    I'm not sure how to articulate this, anyone is invited to try and pick some sense-making out of here. I agree that there is a difference between FTB as the end of a not necessarily sexual scene, and FTB as two characters fall into bed half-dressed and attached at the lips. It relies pretty heavily on context, but I have no idea what can be done about that. More liberal use of the report button as a method of asking mods "Is this OK or should it be moved?" perhaps.
     
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